therefugee Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Hello love shack, I'm entering this thread as an introduction because I did not see an introduction section, so I'll use this and hope not to be overly long-winded. As you can imagine I do have things to talk about, share with you, and hopefully get some constructive feedback and maybe some good advice. I've called myself the refugee because many parts of my life over the past 12 years have been extremely difficult at times and in some ways has taken its toll on my life. (I will try to present a concise list) -a very difficult divorce and custody battle involving relocation of child to another state. -four years of caring for terminally ill parent and their death. - other parent in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. -spinal arthritis and a badly pinched nerve, (did not go through surgery, fear of very dangerous complications) -loss of career with little options due to spinal disability (Worker's Comp. Pending settlement) -five more years of child support (I am depleting retirement account to cover my responsibility) -several short relationships since then, main issue $, and lack thereof. -stress, and possibly other factors have me and my doctor paying attention to my blood pressure -extreme difficulty in staying off smoking and a non-smoking girlfriend would really help right now. Yes, health is number one and I'm paying close attention to it at this time but I do have to look at the rest of my life including my social and relationship aspects of my life. I am on Medi-Cal and they do not provide emotional counseling services, only physical issues, so maybe the love shack can be my counselor. That said, I am the refugee and I have to keep moving regardless of the many hurdles, so I'll present three aspects of my social life that I feel needs evaluation and assessment. -although I've been through a lot, when I die my hair I look, conduct and carry myself like a much younger man (I am middle-aged). Right after my divorce I dated mostly women in their 20s, and though I have adjusted my thought pattern towards meeting women closer to my age, the social scene in my city (SF) is very young and I still have trouble becoming attracted to women my age. -I am a Caucasian man that grew up in a black neighborhood, (the only white kid on the block) and I have had relationships with all colors of women (white, black, Latina, Asian) and appreciate all their unique beauties. My ex-wife is black, Caramel to be exact, but after my divorce I made it a point to avoid black women, especially the light skinned ones that remind me of her. Recent occurrences in my life have reminded me how much I am attracted to them, more than other women. I realize I may be just a product of my environment in growing up, but I do question myself on it. -At this time I am more 'smooth' than handsome, which means I can open up conversations with just about any young beautiful woman, get them to interact and even consider me as a potential man to get to know. Unfortunately it doesn't take too much longer to realize that I *AM* older and maybe not the best candidate as boyfriend material. Again, I usually have to leave town to find an older social situation and that takes me away from friends and a familiar social scene, although younger. Doing that is another example of how I am the refugee, because at that point I am on my own, going solo, without a wing man or inviting social circle. (A challenge I embrace regularly) I thank you for reading, I understand some things are out of my control, but I'm open to your thoughts.
Author therefugee Posted January 18, 2015 Author Posted January 18, 2015 ....and please let me know if I should have put this in a different section. Thx.
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