Beto81 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 (edited) I started a relationship with a close friend, who I'm now in love with. And it's gotten a bit complicated. I will try to keep it simple. I'm a recovering addict and I met her bc me and her husband used together. Well they broke up and a couple months after that he got arrested for drug charges and got put away for a year. They have three young children together whom I also love. While he was in jail her and I were taking care of the children and we were a happy lil family til one day we overslept and one of the kids managed to get the window open of the second story bedroom and started throwing toys out. Well the neighbor called the cops and to make a long story short DSS got called and the kids got taken into custody. No drugs or alcohol were involved. Well her mother is a nutcase the poor girl, she gets bad acne when it's that time of the month and she told me that one time she mentioned to her mother around that time that she looked like the ppl that do meth and pick at their face. Now just so no one starts thinking here I'm an ex opiate addict. Well her mother is single and lonely and crazy. And she has been trying to get the kids is the assumption we came to. Bc she went to DSS and told them that her daughter was on meth. Anyways she got her way bc she conspired with him in jail and got him to get DSS to give her the kids when he got out as long as he was living there. Which was his way of getting to his wife because he was never a good father, I'm not saying that he doesn't love his kids. But anyways He is now out of jail and at her mothers house and uses the fact that the kids are their with him to talk to her. And she has to go there and get supervised visitation with her mom to see the kids. Well me being a recovering addict I haven't been in touch with my feelings in a while and these feelings of love and jealousy that I have are sometimes overwhelming and I'm trying not to push her away. Any words of advice?? Edited January 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for easier readability
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Any words of advice?? Run. Do it for her, do it for yourself, do it for the kids. You aren't healthy, she isn't healthy, the entire relationship isn't healthy. No good can come from continuing this. 1
preraph Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 First of all, there are very few grandmothers who relish the thought of raising kids at their age, so if she's doing it it's because she genuinely feels she has to step in. Nothing you can do about the custody arrangement between the parents of those kids. Both of them have proven themselves unreliable and will be under scrutiny for some years. Anytime substances are involved, child services places some very specific rules into place and the only way either parent will get the kids back is to prove they have followed these rules to a T. Her having you, another recovering addict, in the house isn't going to overjoy child services. You need to continue with your recovery (and congratulations and best of luck with that!) and not put yourself into that household. She needs to concentrate on her sobriety, if she is, in fact, sober, and raising her kids. Her husband needs to do the same. All of you need to put one foot in front of the other and work as much as possible and get back on your feet. Usually addicts are not to be around other addicts, recovering or otherwise. Especially ones they used with. Too easy to fall back into that habit. You need to let her concentrate on her kids right now. Tell her that's what she needs to do. Tell her all her energy needs to go into following rules to get her kids back and raising her kids. 1
Satu Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Concentrate on your recovery. Anything else is of less importance.
Recommended Posts