Barby Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 How do you approach a really shy guy who's shown interest but hasn't "made a move" so to speak?!?! Okay so some details..........I met this guy, (through my job) deal with him/talk to him at least once or twice a day. I thought he was pretty attractive the first time I saw him and he's hilarious and nice....anyway so I wanted to find out more about him (if he was married, GF, kids, ect).....but I'm very shy as well so I didn't want to approach him (in case he had any of the above also). He ended up approaching one of our close mutual friends which I didn't know he was friends with previous to this nor had I met him previous to starting this job and asking about me, he asked this guy (our friend) if I was single, ect, ect and told him that he was really interested in me and thought I was cute and he wanted to get to know me better but was too scared to come approach me (in that way). I was suprised because I was just about to ask our mutual friend © about him as well but he beat me to the punch in telling me the guy (E) asked about me. I let © know that I was interested as well and I'm not sure if he's said anything or not. We (E) and I see each other daily (as I mentioned above) and other than general chit chat and him smiling from ear to ear the entire time we're "together" he doesn't say anything (like trying to "know" me better or trying to ask me out or anything). So my question is...how do I approach him (in that way) to let him know I'm interested w/out making myself look stupid or scaring him off?!?! Please help me..I don't usually have this problem and am totally clueless as to what to do about it!
Naive Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 I say you wait to see if your friend tells him anything and then you proceed depending on that. It does sound like this guy is very shy so don't be too forward either (I know you are not) take it easy and just flirt a bit and see how he reacts to that.
crazychick Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 I totally understand being shy, but you kinda know this guy is interested in you - if he wasn't he wouldn't have asked about you. So maybe you can try showing him a little bit that you are interested. Is there any flirting going on between you? What kinds of things do you talk about?
Naive Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Ok Barby now you are giving us the silent treatment???? Okay I see how it is!!!
Author Barby Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by crazychick I totally understand being shy, but you kinda know this guy is interested in you - if he wasn't he wouldn't have asked about you. So maybe you can try showing him a little bit that you are interested. Is there any flirting going on between you? What kinds of things do you talk about? Yes I'm pretty much aware that he is interested (at least somewhat) in me! We have discussed minor things such as me asking him how long he's been here in Lafayette, does he have a GF, rather or not I'm single (him FINALLY asking me)... basically just everyday things about our jobs. Saying "wow it's really nice out today" (generic things like that).....nothing at all intrusive or that really "lead" to anything deeper. Yes I have flirted with him, touched his arm, his shoulder, his hand for a second or two when he handed me something! He has done small things, touched the small of my back (my lower back) while we were walking, also touching my hand and "holding" it ever so slightly for a second or two. And we are always waving, smiling at each other (a lot of eye contact) when we're in passing. I think those are good signs right?!?! Originally posted by ~Naive~ Ok Barby now you are giving us the silent treatment???? Okay I see how it is!!! Sorry girl, by no means was this the case! I had a bunch of orders to run so I didn't even get to log out! I'm finally home but exhausted as usual! Anyway thanks for the advice....I don't plan on necessarily "making any move" anytime soon but I kinda wanted/want some suggestions on anything else (not too pushy or overt) that I could say/do to continue to let him know I'm interested (w/out coming across too strong or coming across as desperate or like someone who hits on guys all the time or something).
Linlin Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 How long as this been going on for? I have been emailing a shy guy that I met 3 weeks ago. I finally sent him an email that said call me and we should go out. I haven't heard from him for 5 days now. But, saying that, if he never calls, at least I know. I can't or should I say won't sit around in limbo hoping that one day he will come around and call. I feel there comes a point when someone has to step up and take some sort of action. Just my 2 cents.
Author Barby Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin How long as this been going on for? I have been emailing a shy guy that I met 3 weeks ago. I finally sent him an email that said call me and we should go out. I haven't heard from him for 5 days now. But, saying that, if he never calls, at least I know. I can't or should I say won't sit around in limbo hoping that one day he will come around and call. I feel there comes a point when someone has to step up and take some sort of action. Just my 2 cents. I have known him total about 2 1/2 weeks but have only known he was interested in getting to know me (so says our friend © and it seems to be true) for about 1 1/2 weeks or so. I don't want to "push" anything, that's just not my style or what I want to do. Originally posted by sami Is that right???? I don't know who you're referring to.
alphamale Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 just say to him that you would not mind if he asked u out sometime.
Author Barby Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale just say to him that you would not mind if he asked u out sometime. Simple enough ....if he doesn't I'll just chalk it up that he isn't interested enough or that he's too shy (depending on his re-action, ect) and move on.
LittleMiss Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 why don't you just mention that you feel like going out this weekend or something like that. Then, suggest that you two get together. Something like: You: "Ya know, I really feel like seeing this movie that's coming out this weekend." Him: "oh yeah, which one?" You:"(Insert movie here), maybe we could go check it out together, I hear it's supposed to be good." Him: "Sure, that will be cool" And then you have a date. Casual, but a date none the less. I would have suggested something else, but I live in a very small town and usually dates around here are dinner and a movie unless we go out of town.
Linlin Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Sami's comment was in reference to me. I didn't push the other guy. I just said that if he wanted to go out sometime, here is my # and to call. He hasn't so I take that as a no. I feel after 3 weeks of almost daily emailing back and forth that something should happen. My feelings are basically what you posted above.
Author Barby Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by g_tabatha why don't you just mention that you feel like going out this weekend or something like that. Then, suggest that you two get together. Something like: You: "Ya know, I really feel like seeing this movie that's coming out this weekend." Him: "oh yeah, which one?" You:"(Insert movie here), maybe we could go check it out together, I hear it's supposed to be good." Him: "Sure, that will be cool" And then you have a date. Casual, but a date none the less. I would have suggested something else, but I live in a very small town and usually dates around here are dinner and a movie unless we go out of town. Thanks, about not suggesting anything other than movies...it's cool...hahaha I get the idea. Problem is I'm almost painfully shy as well so asking him out will be hard as heck for me too!
Author Barby Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Originally posted by Linlin Sami's comment was in reference to me. I didn't push the other guy. I just said that if he wanted to go out sometime, here is my # and to call. He hasn't so I take that as a no. I feel after 3 weeks of almost daily emailing back and forth that something should happen. My feelings are basically what you posted above. Oh I didn't mean YOU were pushing that guy. I mean I don't want to come across as pushy....don't get me wrong about my comment. I agree 3 weeks of emailing daily seeing if he wanted to "call you sometime" was a good idea.
blind_otter Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Sorry Barby, I would give advice but I am a total moron when it comes to this kind of thing....
Author Barby Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Heya BO! No problem what-so-ever! I basically got the general idea...but me being shy I'll probably just "ride it out" for another week and see how things go.
Linlin Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 I think giving it one more week is fair. BO I am a total moron when it comes to any guy I think?! So who am I to give advice as well.
alphamale Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 you know....you would think that the "shy" gene would have died out long ago thru natural selection. Mainly cause none of the shy people would have hooked up and procreated. But....we see that shy people ARE hooking up and having sex cause we still have their shy offspring in the world today and shy people are around every corner. So it is not that bad BARBY. If it is meant to be then it will be.
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