Did I blow my chances again with this e-mail?

[Eddy Street]

you could if you use a photo logging website.

Others can tell you how.

 

I can't wait, personally, to see precisely what you look like.

Putting a face to a fool is a useful tool....

 

I'd be very happy to provide you with that! You'd have quite a laugh! People have told me that a face like mine is fit for a comedian or a clown. But I was told those white chips that came off of the window sill in my childhood home prevented my true talents form ever materializing. I couldn't help it, they were so sweet tasting.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I'm going to disagree with everyone here. I think it was a fine first email and the recipient was either:

 

1). too dumb to realize it was sarcasm (otherwise why would he bother sending it?) or

2). knew it was sarcasm but feigned ignorance because she didn't like him.

 

I don't agree with you, women get all kinds of awful messages sometimes and there would be no reason to think this wasn't one of them! It's not funny and also gives no real opening for responding unless it's like WTF??

[Taramere]

Obviously none of this is true, it's ridiculous, which hopefully makes it funny. And I am writing to her, which should imply that I'm interested. Is there anything that I can do to turn this into a real, genuine conversation?

 

As a side-question, would calling myself "Marck" make it more funny?

 

It might do, but be sure to explain to her, with some detail, exactly why it's funny.

 

If this is a serious post, Marck, I'm not really sure what to say. There's an outside chance that she's attracted to strangeness, in which case she might respond. Or she might share your sense of humour (less likely)...or perhaps she'd see you as a potential project, given your comment about having attended flirtation classes.

 

Given her response to you, I doubt any of the three are likely - but of the three, seeing you as a project would seem the most likely.

[Eddy Street]

It might do, but be sure to explain to her, with some detail, exactly why it's funny.

 

If this is a serious post, Marck, I'm not really sure what to say. There's an outside chance that she's attracted to strangeness, in which case she might respond. Or she might share your sense of humour (less likely)...or perhaps she'd see you as a potential project, given your comment about having attended flirtation classes.

 

Given her response to you, I doubt any of the three are likely - but of the three, seeing you as a project would seem the most likely.

 

Project? What do you mean by that?

[insert_name]

I'm going to disagree with everyone here. I think it was a fine first email and the recipient was either:

 

1). too dumb to realize it was sarcasm (otherwise why would he bother sending it?) or

2). knew it was sarcasm but feigned ignorance because she didn't like him.

 

Either way, it doesn't sound like she's worth going out with. Here's a similar message exchange I had with a girl last week:

 

Her: You need to lighten up your profile a bit. Waaay too serious.

 

Me: Fair point. How do you think I should revise it? Maybe a lengthy, formal paragraph assuring the reader how I genuine I am topped off with an undertone of desperation? I hear chicks dig that.

 

Her: Yes, I think you should also mention how you're a hopeless romantic and often find yourself in the friend zone lolololol. The "lolololol" is key... Also, do you update your profile every time you shave your beard? If so, I'm pretty impressed with the real time updates!

 

Etc. See? That's a girl who can actually dispense and appreciate sarcasm. You need some indication that she can do that before you send that email. The point being if she doesn't have a similar sense of humor, or can't read between the lines, then it's probably a non-starter from the beginning.

 

You are telling me there are women who can banter like that on OLD?!

 

Getthe****outtahere!

[Danda]

OP several of your posts that I have seen have boiled down to you trying to be sarcastic with women online, coming across as a douche (no offense), and then getting really touchy and bent out of shape if they get sarcastic back with you. If I recall correctly the last thread like this I remember it was with the lady where it all went downhill when you started getting super sarcastic about your career. And in that thread my advice was to stop being sarcastic like that. Same advice here.

 

I have a very sarcastic sense of humor, myself, I can be a bit cocky sometimes, too, and I love satire comedy. But it's something for in-person humor. Sarcasm online with someone you don't even know yet, though, is the social risk equivalent of grabbing people's butts on a subway. Sure it might go well once in a great while, but chances are 99% of the time it won't.

[autumnnight]

I'm going to disagree with everyone here. I think it was a fine first email and the recipient was either:

 

1). too dumb to realize it was sarcasm (otherwise why would he bother sending it?) or

2). knew it was sarcasm but feigned ignorance because she didn't like him.

 

Either way, it doesn't sound like she's worth going out with. Here's a similar message exchange I had with a girl last week:

 

Her: You need to lighten up your profile a bit. Waaay too serious.

 

Me: Fair point. How do you think I should revise it? Maybe a lengthy, formal paragraph assuring the reader how I genuine I am topped off with an undertone of desperation? I hear chicks dig that.

 

Her: Yes, I think you should also mention how you're a hopeless romantic and often find yourself in the friend zone lolololol. The "lolololol" is key... Also, do you update your profile every time you shave your beard? If so, I'm pretty impressed with the real time updates!

 

Etc. See? That's a girl who can actually dispense and appreciate sarcasm. You need some indication that she can do that before you send that email. The point being if she doesn't have a similar sense of humor, or can't read between the lines, then it's probably a non-starter from the beginning.

 

This is miles away from what the OP wrote. First, SHE started the sarcasm rolling in your example. Plus, she took a little dig at your profile, not you. Next, you were self-effacing back. This was an exchange. What the OP did was an insult calling her a bad person he wouldn't trust with a directive to move along.

 

You understand the nuances. He does not.

[preraph]

You guys are right, I'm negative and it comes across in my actions. I have to change my game entirely, rewrite my profile, take new pics (I look less shaggy these days), etc...

 

I'm sort of confused by another exchange that went straight to kingdom come despite seeming very promising. I have no idea what I did wrong, except that maybe by reply was too serious, desperate or careful-sounding?

 

Girl: *likes my photo*

 

Me: So does this mean you would consider going out with me???

 

Girl: I would say yes... and because you messaged me, the feeling is mutual?

 

Me: I suppose it is! So... what caught your attention?

 

 

Why would you put in that last line. She said yes, and then you ask her out, not quiz her about what it is you wrote that made her say yes. That makes it sound like you're just trying to perfect your technique. You say, "Let's go out. Is Saturday good? " Then you give her some options, all safe places with lots of people.

[Eddy Street]

Well, I'm not too worried about this OLD thing anymore. I know I will meet a gorgeous Russian girl at the bus stop eventually. All I have to do is wait. Ramsey theory says that it will eventually happen. And if it doesn't and I become all old and wise with the final curtain dangling in front of my eyes, I can take adventage of the time dilation during d eath to pretend like I met her and we lived an entire lifetime todgether in tha tmoment.

[Tiger Lily]

I sent this message to a girl:

 

You look like a bad person. I wouldn't trust you. Note to self: move along!

 

Of course I was trying to be funny. The note to self bit was supposed to make that more clear. Here's the reply I got:

 

That's rude. Didn't your mom tell you to keep your negative comments to yourself. You don't even know me, and I seem like an unpleasant person why bother sending me a message.

 

Do you send a message to every person that seem unpleasant and not trustworthy. That seems like a waste of time!

 

I replied with this:

 

I took an "online dating prep" class at the local public library and this is what they told us to write. They told us to use reverse psychology because it's been shown to work clinically, especially in the military setting. To get women interested in us they told us to use mean comments, the more mean the better. They told us to be jerks, super jerks! They told us to be very sarcastic, which according to my class notes means "say the opposite of what you mean" or to be even more effective "say the opposite of what the other person expects you to say". Our final exam was to write down an initial e-mail in 30 minutes or less and I wrote down the message I sent you. My teacher gave me an A+ so I figured I had really good material... On second thought, I do have really good material, since you replied! That's what he said, we have to say something shocking or mean to get your attention, then we can start communicating on a human level. He told me it will work every time. I really hope it does, I payed $900 for the class. Anyway, my name is Marc! And judging by your username, your name is probably Edith? If it is, that's an awesome name! My favorite Edith was probably Edith Sedgewick (Edie Sedgewick), but I also like Edith Stein, one of my personal heroes and my all time favorite philosopher!

 

Kindest regards,

Marc

 

Obviously none of this is true, it's ridiculous, which hopefully makes it funny. And I am writing to her, which should imply that I'm interested. Is there anything that I can do to turn this into a real, genuine conversation?

 

As a side-question, would calling myself "Marck" make it more funny?

 

my eyes!!! too....much...bold!

 

[Eddy Street]

my eyes!!! too....much...bold!

 

 

I appologise. That's just a way to separate the dialog from the description of the dialog (or is it dialogue?)

[Eddy Street]

Thanks for liking my post, Tiger Lily, it somehow makes the content of the message more bearable for me.

[Tiger Lily]

I appologise. That's just a way to separate the dialog from the description of the dialog (or is it dialogue?)

 

As long as you didn't bold your real emails. That would be a definite mood-killer. :l