Dumped by a guy in the same friendship group...finding it hard to move on :(

[emily_m]

I'm sorry moderators...I posted this is breakups too but I didn't get much response.

 

I'm really struggling to get over a guy I was seeing because we're in the same

friendship group and usually no contact is the only way I can get someone out of my system. I distanced myself a bit at first but felt as though I was missing out on having fun with my friends...which I was. They're such a good bunch and I don't want to exclude myself.

 

I feel like I'm in such a rubbish situation as I really like the guy and I know he felt the same way, but he pretty much ended things as he said he didn't want to get too attached or have a relationship right now. We were seeing each other for about two months. We're living away from home and kind of travelling. He's early 20s and I'm late 20s...I think he feels as though he wants to play the field a bit and enjoy this whole experience as a young single guy, which I completely understand.

 

The confusing thing is he hasn't actually been with anyone else since me and it's been about 2 months since things ended. He confided in one of the girls that he's been comparing other girls to me and so he hasn't really liked anyone. His friends are always saying he's stupid for ending things as I'm 'gorgeous and a lot of fun' (their words). I find that a bit awkward really as it's his decision and he obviously is doing what he wants....if he wanted me, I do realise that he wouldn't have ended things.

 

Things have never been awkward between us, we get on well still and have never argued, but I'm dreading the day I see him with someone else, or the day he brings a girl home (we all hang out at his and his friends' house a lot). I feel really anxious about it happening and I can tell he does want to...he obviously didn't end things with me to become celibate.

 

I feel really gutted about the whole thing to be honest as we got on so well and did genuinely like each other. I want that back, and I'm finding it really hard to accept that it's not gonna happen. I'm honest if people ask and I say I do still like him, but I don't really show it. I act normal and come across like I've accepted the whole thing...my girl friends in the group say they can't tell how I'm feeling. So I think on the surface I'm dealing with it well.

 

As if this wasn't bad enough, he's just got a job at the place I work and he'll be working in my team! We won't be working the same shifts all the time, but still. He's now going to be in my work life too.

 

What the hell shall I do here? Just ride it out? I'm literally having to stop myself thinking about it all the time. And I feel so stupid for feeling like this about someone so much younger than me would love to hear any advice you have, or if anyone's been in a similar situation. Thanks peeps

[eye of the storm]

Im sorry. That truly does suck.

 

Best advice I can give is "fake it till you make it". Just keep doing what you are doing.

 

Ill add to that. Stop focusing on what he is doing/saying. You two tried it, it didn't work. He isn't your soul mate or the man you are destined to be with. He is a nice guy you dated, had some fun with, and now work with. Put him in the box he belongs and move on with your life.

 

good luck