Xiang Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 I mean really, when does one say to stop? If i'm thinking about it, guess it means i should?!? Mention: LDR (not to far) Here's the deal. I like a gal, by this point she knows i like her. I pursue her, we flirt we talk, escalate sexually so she knows what i'm after and not just friends. She doesn't mind the attention (duh), but i guess that's mostly it. She's hot and cold, sometimes affectionate but most of the times not. More intimate arround me, not so much when friends arround. Hinted at possible makeout session (jokingly). She said "maybe" then "sure. So it makes you think that sure she is interested. xD (duh again) But not fully invested for some reason...i mean the friend part and being cold. And not saying anything, despite knowing i like her, pretty clear. Or does she think i'm just joking and having fun with her when i touch? Wich makes me think she might just be doing this for the attention, should i stop pursuing?
Nina1 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 You should stop... I think she has a boyfriend, or a sex friend idk but it's clear she is seeing someone or has someone in mind.. Just my opinion but I feel like she is playing with you, with your feelings. And you are better than that, you shouldn't waste your time with someone who obviously knows that you like her but isn't even honest to tell you what she feels about that. It's like she is happy to see you around her, it prolly makes her feels great to know someone is chasing her. But trust me, if she was sincere, she would have never let you struggling like that!!! Don't be naive, don't be her puppy and stop chasing her. By doing that, you'll find someone who truly deserves you...don't waste your time and move on! 1
Author Xiang Posted January 18, 2015 Author Posted January 18, 2015 Maybe i should. Like i mentioned she acts more affectionate with me 1on1, not so much when with her friends. Just teasing and funny remarks. She does seem interested but plays really hard to get. More advice would be nice . SHould i just be upfront with her and ask what's going on? Before i actually stop chasing.
Van AZN Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 It would really have to depend on a lot factors: do you know her history (dating and otherwise)? does she flirt with other guys too? is she in a "play time phase of life" or "I'm wanting a stable relationship"? is there an obvious reason why she's holding back affection in front of her friends (ie she recently got out of a relationship but found you and doesn't want to seem like a rebound in front of her friends)? I do suggest asking her flat out, but that can also backfire if it comes out too strong. But getting things clear is always a priority. And yah, what Nina1 said, if the girl is just playing with you, move on to someone that will care for you instead of wasting time. Good Luck!
Danda Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 How long have you been flirting with her? You would pinpoint this by starting on the day that you made it point blank clear that you have romantic/sexual interest in her. Definitely not always, but more often than not, women will be more cautious and move slower than men. It's not something to take personally. It's a combo of biology and culture. If she's very receptive to your pursuit and has a playful/flirty demeanor with you, at least you're honing in on a gal who has a positive attitude about the whole process. Hot/Cold can be really subjective. Some people simply don't hear from a person for 2 days and count that as "blowing cold". Followed by "blowing hot" when the person says hello. Keep in mind she is a whole person with a whole life. If she gets irritable or even snotty with you sometimes, though, that is a different story. BUT if this has been going on for months, then I would agree she is probably enjoying the attention and maybe even the prospect of some makeout action, but is probably lukewarm at best about actually dating you. And her not giving you a clear response on her own interest level is likely her keeping you on backburner-backupplan status. If this has been going on for a couple weeks, on the other hand, then I'd vouch for getting a bit bolder and asking her flat out if she'd like to try dating you. You've already made yourself vulnerable by divulging your interest to her, so nothing left to lose here. But potentially something to gain!
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