crackerjax9 Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) Hi! So this week I was at a work conference. We have some crazy parties every night. Anyway some background: I've been dating a guy for 3 years. He's amazing I love him and I think I will wind up marrying him. We broke up for two weeks last February and I was devastated thought id lost the best thing that happened to me. We broke up becaise we were fighting over stupid things and it was getting annoying. Anyway in those two weeks I was single I was drunk and told a coworker he was hot and that's all that happened. My boyfriend had told me to move on and I tried. We wound up getting back together. Fast forward to this past week. One night we were all at a party and my coworker who has a very hot and awesome gf started making out with another girl. He was wasted so I pulled him aside and asked if he knew what he was doing and called him stupid. I guess sometimes when I drink I think Im mother Theresa so I wanted to protect him and not have him make any regrets that night. I've been cheated on it's the worst so I pictured how his gf would feel. I too him back to the hotel bar so he couldn't mke any more mistakes and we talked. I made it clear I was just looking out for hiM and wasn't looking to hook up whatsoever.He kept staring me up and down and was clearly drunk so I was like ok let's finish these and go to sleep. Our rooms were right next to each other so as I opened my door he ran in! I had to pee so I told him to get out. When I came out he was asleep on the bed. I told him no, get up I have a boyfriend. Then he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, and said no. I was like I told you almost a year ago I thought you were hot, that ship has sailed I love my boyfriend. He tried again got on top of me and I pulled up the covers so he couldn't kiss me. I told him to get out and he tried again. You're probablh picturing it like I'm being raped but it was more of a playful go away no. It felt good knowing this kid wanted me and denying him. If I was single and he was too something would have happened. He was texting me all night and I kept denying him. I was good. But at the same time I felt guilty. It was an ego boost. I told my boyfriend everything that happened the next day even tho my friends told me not to. But I couldn't not tell him. He was upset and still is bc I put myself in a dangerous situation. It's true, I could have easily been raped by this guy but was taking it more as playful then dangerous. Anyway this kid apologized to me the next day he was embarrassed and I accepted his apology. For some odd reason I'm still thinking about this. Like how I could've kissed him and some part of me wanted to but I have morals and didn't. I feel bad that my mind is kind of fantasizing now. I'm proud of myself for denying him but feel bad about that a part of me really wanted to kiss him. Came home from my conference and my bf asked me to move in with him. I burst into tears. I've never lived with a guy, would miss my family and animals and just was feeling super guilty for a part of me thinking about this guy. I know it'll blow over, this kids a tool anyway and has a gf. But is it Normal to sometimes be curious. Idk help. Edited January 17, 2015 by crackerjax9
preraph Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 If you don't want to move in with your boyfriend, then don't. A boyfriend shouldn't take you away from who you love, friends, family, animals. He should add to your life and you should not have to leave anything behind like animals. That said, you were right to confess what went down and hopefully he believes you. You put yourself in that situation by interfering with someone at work, which you should stop doing. What else was the guy to think in his simple drunk mind except that you cared about him? Glad he's embarrassed, however. Put the incident behind you. But you're not ready to move in with the boyfriend and there's no reason to.
Author crackerjax9 Posted January 17, 2015 Author Posted January 17, 2015 I mean, I'm ready, I'm 27! And still living with my parents. He's allergic to animals which is why I'd miss my pets. And my family home is only 5 blocks away so maybe that was dramatic of me to say. I'm just nervous to move in with him.
Author crackerjax9 Posted January 18, 2015 Author Posted January 18, 2015 Any other opinions? Is it okay to have that curious thought every so often (first time this has happened) as long as you don't act on it?
toscaroscura Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 You gotta stop beating yourself up. Take it from me, I was married a long time. Thoughts about other people are normal. They will happen! But the important thing is you don't act on it. You didn't act on it, you stayed strong, you stuck to your guns. That's all you can do. It doesn't mean you'll never find another man attractive. Just recognize it as a meaningless physical reaction, because that's all it really is, and you didn't jeopardize your relationship for it. And take it as a life lesson not to put yourself in situations like that! About moving in, if you feel IN YOUR GUT that you really don't want to live with this guy, you need to LISTEN to what it's telling you. Take some time to reflect on it and try to find the source of your hesitation. But I'm telling you, having these nebulous strong negative feelings you can't quite articulate always means your gut is trying to tell you something important!
Author crackerjax9 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 Thanks that made me feel better. I think the moving in issue is just me adjusting. I have sleeping issues and stomach issues that I'll just have to deal with with any man.
Author crackerjax9 Posted January 21, 2015 Author Posted January 21, 2015 Okay so I drank a couple of beers tonight and am overcome with guilt that I'm still curious about this guy. I talked to my friend and maybe I'm just lacking passion or hotness in my relationship so Im craving it. I'm a sexual being my boyfriend is very, not sure how to say it safe? Doesn't like to explore etc. Hates toys even tho I love them because he feels demasculined. Idk maybe that's why Im still curious about this guy. Maybe this topic needs to be moved?
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