alexandrathegreat Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) Hi. This is my first time using this site and I just need some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years since my senior year of high school. I am now a junior in college and we have just officially decided to take a break. He is my first long-term boyfriend and this is our first "break" so I am not well acquainted with how breaks work and if they usually are permanent. Our relationship has been relatively steady with no major fights and we are able to talk openly about things if we do fight. We are best friends and have seen each other most days the past year. Last year, it was my boyfriends first year of college and he decided to move up with me to my school and live with me. However, over the year, he saw that four year university was not for him and instead wanted to go to culinary school. This year, I agreed to come back home with him and take online classes while he worked and raised money for culinary school. He ended up getting kicked out of his house because he dropped out of college and then he moved in with me for a few months. He began to work more and more and I saw him only at nights when he was half-asleep. A few weeks ago, he moved more into his own apartment so he could get rid of his car and be able to walk to the restaurant where he works. Well, I stayed with him at his apartment the first few days and after the last day he told me that he needed space to adjust to all the transitions he was going through. I told him that I respected his space and we agreed to not eachother for a week. However, he then called or texted me almost everyday on our week break so it made me confused. During this time, I decided that a break might be good for us because he wasn't making anytime for me and I had been so focused on him all the time that I wasn't leaving anytime to think about myself and what I wanted in the future. I saw him yesterday and we talked about how our week went. He told me that he thought the break was good and that we should continue to do so. He also said it was because I was going to graduate school next year and he was going to culinary school so our futures didn't line up. I agreed with him and told him that our relationship wasn't balanced right now. We both then cried a lot and hugged and he told me that he loved me and that I was his best friend. He thanked me for everything and said sorry a lot. We talked about our break and agreed that we wouldn't see other people. He told me that maybe we will work in the future when our lives were more settled. However, through all this, he still wants to hang out every few weeks and talk during our break and stay best friends. Basically, I am just overwhelmed and want to stay in contact with him but don't know if will make things harder. In your past experience, does a break always lead to a break-up? Edited January 17, 2015 by alexandrathegreat
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 does a break always lead to a break-up? Yes. Search this forum for the term "taking a break". I dare you to find one thread with a happy ending.
FixItCris Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Yes. Search this forum for the term "taking a break". I dare you to find one thread with a happy ending. This, unfortunately is true. He is trying to let you and himself down easily.
bigtrouble Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Break ups are difficult, he is as much a part of you as you to him, its like he wants a relationship with no emotional attachment. He does not want to forget you, nor you forget him, he wants to remain in contact but no deep emotions, platonic at its best.... After BU, it really depends, on the person, some find it easier to be friends with their Ex but others not. If you agree to such and remain in contact you have to set your emotional boundaries and keep telling yourself you are only friends, best of friends. Honestly I am different, I can actually do better to move on after BU if I remain friends with my EX it kind of softens the blow of that emotional storm. Lessens my Guilt, no Regrets...
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