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Posted
I'm still attracted to her. Being friends won't kill that feeling. I need time away from her.

 

so why you didnt reply to her message saying that?

you could tell her you were not interested in being friend with her or anything like that.

she probably thinks you are ok with it and this is what she is doing: being friend with you!

its not rocket science :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Posted
I'm still attracted to her. Being friends won't kill that feeling. I need time away from her.

Well that's your problem to deal with now, is it. For her, you've never been more than a friend, and nothing has ever happened between you two.

 

Are you part of some kind of monarchie, are you noble? Why does she have to bow out to you and your feelings. Speaking of which, you spoke to her once, and you're so attracted to her that you guys can't even talk because it would cause too much pain? How does that work?

 

And by the way, waving hello to someone isn't enforcing friendship on that person. She did it to be nice.

 

As others have pointed out, if you don't want any contact with that girl, you should have said so, that's all. She has no idea that you're taking it like a 3 years old relationship breakup.

  • Like 1
Posted
Then don't wave back or acknowledge it.

 

Or, you could use this as an opportunity to grow, and to not hold it against someone because they don't see you that way.

 

To act as suggested above is childish, in my opinion. You don't have to be best friends if it bothers you, but to ignore her? Petty.

  • Like 1
  • Author
Posted
Well that's your problem to deal with now, is it. For her, you've never been more than a friend, and nothing has ever happened between you two.

 

Are you part of some kind of monarchie, are you noble? Why does she have to bow out to you and your feelings. Speaking of which, you spoke to her once, and you're so attracted to her that you guys can't even talk because it would cause too much pain? How does that work?

 

And by the way, waving hello to someone isn't enforcing friendship on that person. She did it to be nice.

 

As others have pointed out, if you don't want any contact with that girl, you should have said so, that's all. She has no idea that you're taking it like a 3 years old relationship breakup.

 

Not once.

 

*Last October I asked her out to coffee.We had known each other through acquaintances and passing (we're college students) here and there, but this was the first time we sat down to actually talk. We ended up talking for almost 3 hours and the entire time was great and relaxful.

 

*A week later (now November) I asked her out to dinner. She said yes (although her answer wasn't confident "Uhh..yeah. Sure.") and we decided a day for Sunday that coming weekend. I had a retreat I would be at all day Friday and Saturday. Friday morning she messaged me and said Sunday would be a bad day due to her homework.

 

*A month later I asked her out again to dinner (this time it was the weekend before finals) and she thanked me for the invite and, but said she already had plans with friends a lot of studying.

 

*Early Christmas Break I messaged her asking how she was doing. She seemed really excited and wasn't blunt in her responses.After sharing how and what she had been up to she asked how my break was and how one of my trips went. I shared and then the conversation eventually ended short with her wishing me a good rest of my Christmas break (caught me off guard since she seemed excited that I contacted her).

 

*Wished her a Merry Christmas on X-Mas day. She said "Merry Christmas (my name)!!" Later that night I thanked her and told her I hoped she had a great time with her family and friends. No reply back. At this moment I gave up.

 

*We returned back to school last week and I was working on my laptop in the student center and she passed me working at a table on her way back to her dorm. I didn't look up at her because I thought she didn't want anything to do with me - but to my shock she was looking at me and when I looked at her she stopped and walked over. She asked me how my new semester was and we had a good 10 min conversation about our schedules and what we were looking forward to.

 

*Earlier today I had sent a ChainMail updating individuals on my campus about a non-profit I'm working on and ways they can help. She was in the list it was sent out to. Tonight I was working in our student center and she was walking down our mall-way towards her dorm and saw me and walked up to my table. She shared how she got my email and was excited about the project. We got into a discussion about it and she asked if she could sit down at my table. We talked some more and our conversation led to the discovery that she had never drank hot chocolate form our school's coffee shop. I encouraged her to get one, since I was getting one and she did. We ended up talking for about 1.5 hours until our student center closed. Later tonight when I got back to my dorm I texted her that it was good talking with her tonight and shared some thoughts I forgot to tell her about advice on how be a morning person and enjoy it (our conversation tonight got into our schedules and trying to wake up earlier this semester). She responded back thanking me and then added thoughts about the advice I shared. She ended the message saying:

 

"I enjoyed talking to you tonight as well, and I hope that tomorrow is an incredible day for you (and hopefully won't seem as long/stressful as today)!

 

I reached out to her a few weeks ago letting her know that I would love to get to know her more and she replied

 

She replied:

 

"I have really enjoyed our conversation and really admire you as well with everything you are doing with your projects. I would definitely like to keep in touch with you this semester and hear how everything is going, but just as friends. Sorry I had to say this to you over a text. I hope you have a great weekend."

 

 

Then the table wave the other day.

 

 

TODAY - I was walking out of my student center and she walking out as well (although I didn't see her because I was ahead a few steps) and she called my name and rushed up to me (I kid you not) to ask how I was doing.

 

WHAT THE HECK???

Posted

Well, I'm at a loss of words. I don't know what to tell you anymore. You won't understand and you insist on demonizing her kindness and wrongly implying that she is torturing you on purpose.

 

"WHAT THE HECK???"

 

Yeah, what the heck? You act as a friend to her, and then you freak out when she acts as a friend towards you? What is wrong with you?

  • Like 2
Posted
Or, you could use this as an opportunity to grow, and to not hold it against someone because they don't see you that way.

 

To act as suggested above is childish, in my opinion. You don't have to be best friends if it bothers you, but to ignore her? Petty.

 

Have you read his posting in this thread? Ignoring her prevents him from talking to her and acting even worse. Has nothing to do with being childish, it has to do with preventing him from doing something even more destructive and stupid. No need to throw shade in my direction though.

Posted

I think people are being a little tough on this guy. We have all wondered the same things he is wondering, especially when we were younger, about people we have had crushes on. Heck, read through the threads here...there are many people that still are hoping beyond logical hope that their relationships are still salvageable! It's human nature.

 

I also don't there is anything wrong with him telling her that he would prefer to go their separate ways as long as he is not rude to her. He doesn't owe here anything, other than being civil about it. She seems like a kind person and I would guess that she would understand. Just my opinion.....

  • Author
Posted
I think people are being a little tough on this guy. We have all wondered the same things he is wondering, especially when we were younger, about people we have had crushes on. Heck, read through the threads here...there are many people that still are hoping beyond logical hope that their relationships are still salvageable! It's human nature.

 

I also don't there is anything wrong with him telling her that he would prefer to go their separate ways as long as he is not rude to her. He doesn't owe here anything, other than being civil about it. She seems like a kind person and I would guess that she would understand. Just my opinion.....

 

I just didnt understand why she seemed excited to catch up to me today.

  • Author
Posted
Have you read his posting in this thread? Ignoring her prevents him from talking to her and acting even worse. Has nothing to do with being childish, it has to do with preventing him from doing something even more destructive and stupid. No need to throw shade in my direction though.

 

i guess I'll just move on. Can't deal with these mixed signals

Posted

Yes, how dare she play with your heart and send you so many mixed signals! Women don't understand the power and implications of a wave.

 

I'd get a restraining order if I were you. It's getting out of hands, really. She's totally not respecting your boundaries.

Posted
i guess I'll just move on. Can't deal with these mixed signals

 

They aren't mixed signals. She's trying to be friendly; she's been abundantly clear about that. Either reciprocate if you want to be her friend or don't if you don't want to be her friend. It's not that complicated.

  • Author
Posted
They aren't mixed signals. She's trying to be friendly; she's been abundantly clear about that. Either reciprocate if you want to be her friend or don't if you don't want to be her friend. It's not that complicated.

 

So would it be bad if I asked her out on a date to the movies this weekend?

Posted
So would it be bad if I asked her out on a date to the movies this weekend?

 

Probably. She's made it clear she's not into you like that. I mean, ultimately its up to you, but this girl has made it abundantly clear that she likes you as a friend. If that's not what you want I wouldn't pursue anything social with her until you are cool with just being her buddy.

Posted
So would it be bad if I asked her out on a date to the movies this weekend?

 

If you ask her out with your other friends to the movies, then fine, if you ask her out on a date, then you are obviously not listening to what she told you and she will probably be annoyed and upset.

She may then decide that she doesn't want to talk to you any more, as you did not take her seriously.

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