ashmckenzie Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I will try to make this short ad possible. I, started dating a guy I work with, we dated for about 2-3 months, we were never exclusive but his words and actions made me feel as though he wasn't interested in other girls in fact he told me that. He said he wasn't good with relationships that he's been hurt in the past etc well one morning I spent the night at his house I woke up and was snuggling with him on the couch and he got up to make breakfast and I was using his I pad which is connected to his phone and all of a sudden he got a text message from a girl and it was pretty flirty, ji didn't blow up he said she was a friend nothing to worry about. Well I admit it while he was in the kitchen I looked at his messages and found out he was talking to several girls. Long story short weeks after that he says we're better off as friends because I went through his phone that day, mind you everything was great between us after I did it. I spent the night at his house every night and got ready for work there but since he had to be at work before me he would give me his keys to lock up, he said that was a huge deal for him that he would never do that with anyone but there was something different about me (tmi but we never slept together, he said he really liked me and sex is such a big deal he didn't want to ruin anything right away) well after he says we should be friends I found about a lot of other girls, I never said anything to him about it but one night after crying to my best friend I was in the bathroom and he texts me and my friend responded saying it was her and just that she didn't understand why he did that to me, she saw the way he was too me she knows he really liked me, she was just being a friend. I immediately text him after I found out she did that and apologized. A couple days later we were texting and he's playing the victim can't you see how you hurt me, and didn't treat me well etc and basically ended it saying let's just go back to hire things were before we dated. Fast forward to work and he completely ignores nee, I tried to be mature and say good morning but he wasn't having it. So I gave him his space. I work in an extremely small office we can see each other from our desks. But I gave him his space, one morning he came out and asked my other 2 co workers if they wanted coffee (that was our thing we would always get each other one) didn't ask me if I wanted anything or not, to me went out of his way to be mean. Then a couple days later we were actually talking and laughing and I went to lunch thinking we might be able to get past this week I guess right after I left for lunch gee asked a co worker that he knew would tell me, why is she being mean and ignoring me. My co worker just responded that's not her that's acting that way it's you, he denied it but that same day made sure to say goodbye to everyone but me. So now I guess we're back to him ignoring me he actually had to task to me yesterday and he looked at me with such disgust. I don't understand why he's acting this way if he wants us to ignore each other why is he asking other people why I'm doing it. I know he's not the right guy for me but having to see him everyday is killing me, and this hot cold business. I've been doing no contact add much add possible even when I have to text him about work he ignores me. I apologized for my part in it but why does he hate me so much. How can I get past him having to see him everyday, I've gone back to just pretending I don't even know he's there (which I know isn't mature) but I don't know how else to be. And I'm not going to lie the fact that he doesn't care I'm doing nc drives me crazy. Anyone have any advice or even just nice words, I don't have a lot of friends to talk to about this so I thought this might help.
lil hoodlum Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I work with my ex and she pulls the same crap. In short, he is passive aggressive and immature. He treats you like this because it makes him feel better about himself. Just keep on ignoring him, it obviously is getting to him. He is an idiot. He doesn't want you but he wants your attention. If you want to play his stupid passive aggressive games, maybe you should let it slip out that he has a small penis.
Author ashmckenzie Posted January 17, 2015 Author Posted January 17, 2015 I wish I could do that but he's been at the company way longer than I have and the owners absolutely love him, so I'm not going to bad mouth him, that and no one at work knew we were dating, everyone saw us flirting with each other and before he had that conversation with my co worker I was already asked why we weren't talking anymore, and what the coffee run was about he had even just lectured another co worker who had a coffee about not getting anyone else anything then I come out and he does the sane thing to me. I realize he doesn't want anything to do with me and I know I shouldn't want anything to do with him either I was just really hoping we could at least be mature to each other at work so as not to make everyone else uncomfortable or ourselves. I just don't understand what the point of acting like this, I gave him what he wanted I stopped texting him or calling him so why does he care if I am ignoring him. Like yesterday my 2 co workers were at lunch he came out on the phone and asked where they were I told him they were at lunch was there something I could help him with and he walked away then turned around and said I guess and I said oh my god you actually have to talk to me and he whispered under his breath I'm just trying to go back to the way things were and I said yea me too I just didn't realize that meant we couldn't talk about work stuff. I'm going to do my best to just act like he's not even there but of course every time I go into it like that it never fails I have to talk to him. He constantly comes up to my co workers desk whose is 2 feet from mine, who he is also friends with outside of work. This guy is 37 and our co worker is 21, but he constantly comes up there and tries to get me involved in the conversation then acts annoyed that I'm getting involved. The hardest part is I'm realizing everything he told me was a lie and he didn't feel that way about me, as much as I would like us to be friends since we were good friends I know that week never happen, I would just like to be cordial, it's awkward enough everyone has noticed it but to bring someone else in it and let it be known just bothers me. He could at least treat me with some respect no matter how much he he hates me, still don't understand why he hates me but I can't worry about it anymore. I go from one day being ok to the next day just so sad. I don't know if he's playing games or if he just wants nothing to do with me. But him ignoring me is starting to affect both of our jobs because he refuses to talk to me. I would be over him by now if I didn't have to see him everyday
Recommended Posts