asadguy Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Sometimes I wonder if I´ll ever date somebody. As people say I´m a gentleman (open door type of guy) quiet, Atlhetic, responsible, quiet but enjoy going out, avoids trouble, lots of culture, speak fluently three languages, shy, girls say I´m cute and that I Have a great heart. However Im 23 and never had a girlfriend. I kissed a girl or two but were friends and I didnt see the gf material. I started to like a girl recently, we were flirting and everything, exchanged numbers made plans but she went back to her ex. I havent talked to her since. Its been 2 weeks. Sometimes I think its supposed to be that way. I dont know if girls like the jerk type of guy. I cant be that way, it just isnt in me. I believe that women should be treated w/ respect never cheated on. Sometimes I think I´m too nice, but I cant stop being that I would not know another way. Girls inputs please.......
Tinkerbelle Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Asadguy, Please don't change! There are girls out there who are looking for someone just like you, she will come along and it will be worth the wait. The guys that go around treating girls like jerks and using them end up alone and regretful once they get a little older. I know, I am 29 and getting to the age where the players are realizing their lifestyle has left them alone and hollow without a true relationship with anyone, just a series of hookups and meaningless relationships. It might be fun for them for a while, but I think everyone gets to a point where they want to settle down, and those guys miss it all together because they are too busy partying and treating girls like crap. Don't change a thing, you will find her someday! Tinkerbelle :-)
Sckott Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Dating (in the beginning) is terrible for anyone. Even if you're the "most", you'll still have problems....just like most everyone. Best to keep yourself happy and, if you're daring enough, try online dating.
asadguy Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 Whats up when you hear.. I see you like a big brother, you´re a nice guy.
Tinkerbelle Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 My older brother (literally, he is my older brother :-) used to get that ALL the time from other girls. He was always the "friend" not the boyfriend. He didn't have a real girlfriend until he was 27. Then, BAM! He found the love of his life married her, and now 4 years later they are happy as ever and have 2 little boys. He said all those years of waiting and watching other guys get the girls was so worth it because he will be happy for the rest of his life with his wife. So, hang in there ) Someone will appreciate you for you!!
asadguy Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 Thanks Tinckerbelle, That´s real encouraging. I´ll keep being myself. Nothing happens w/o a reason right? I´ll will not change, I wouldn´t know how anyway.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 Yes!! Don't change please!! There are lots of girls out there who appreciate a nice guy!! I know because I'm one of them! Perhaps you're having trouble in the type you're trying to pick?? I know I have had friends before that were single up in their late 20's- I mean virgins. I would say well what are you looking for (female looking for a man) and she would be like, "College educated, makes over 6 figures, model handsome, drives a 40K automobile......." you get the picture. I'm like- no wonder you're single! Those guys are going after the girls who can be on the cover of magazines- not you!! Try picking just an average girl, maybe a little shy if your usual type is something else.
asadguy Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 I look for the typical family caring type of girl. Enjoys going to the beach etc..
Cecelius Posted March 31, 2005 Posted March 31, 2005 It isn't the "nice guy" thing -- it's the "not a man" thing. You know that girls thrive on being made to feel like girls. Granted, many men go into phases of self-hate and poor treatment of women, and that's not the secret. The secret is that you project value (because you have it) and confidence. This doesn't have to be loud or flashy, and if it's authentic, it works best. Also, there's nothing magic about the fact that if you don't get out there, you don't get noticed. And men have to make the moves. Lastly, you get the "big brother" line when you don't create sexual attraction. Don't be a sleaze but don't treat her like she's porcelin.
asadguy Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 Originally posted by Cecelius It isn't the "nice guy" thing -- it's the "not a man" thing. You know that girls thrive on being made to feel like girls. Granted, many men go into phases of self-hate and poor treatment of women, and that's not the secret. The secret is that you project value (because you have it) and confidence. This doesn't have to be loud or flashy, and if it's authentic, it works best. Also, there's nothing magic about the fact that if you don't get out there, you don't get noticed. And men have to make the moves. Lastly, you get the "big brother" line when you don't create sexual attraction. Don't be a sleaze but don't treat her like she's porcelin. You can still be a man and be a nice guy! You dont have to be rude and "macho" to be a man. I will never disrespect her or any other woman. I may be a little annoyed but it doenst give me reason to curse her out. AS tinkerbelle said. There are those who apreciate a nice guy, I had my proof Friday at the gym, while talking to a female fried. I said that I dont understand those women who loved jerks, she said to me that there are, but she confided to me that she likes only nice gentleman, and she wouldnt be dating his current bf if he wasnt a nice guy.
Screenplay Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 Well, take away two languages and two years and you sound a lot like me. I'm pretty close to 21 and have only had barely two girlfriends in an actual relationship, but have always known a few girls who I have been friends with. Just lately I've been trying the online dating thing, which I've seen the best and the not-so-good of. (Best: I met someone whom I clicked with instantly, and we were literally contacting each other every day and went out on a date like once a week before she got her air force orders to move to Delaware, and we both decided that things couldnt progress past that. Man that hurt. Worst: Online dating is a meat market, plain and simple. Now, I'm fairly handsome, but in person you can build rapport with someone. I'll walk up to anyone and talk with them. Online though, it's all impersonal; nothing more than a direct comparison of people based on search criteria.) I can't count the times I've been told how great a catch I'd be, and of how lucky some girl will be when she finds me. Even that latest girl I was close to told me that "You are everything I look for in a guy, except for 2000 miles between us" I just look forward to the time I can prove those statements. But I ramble, and I apologize. The key to everything is to be yourself, and even moreso than that be comfortable being yourself. It is, after all, who you know best. By being yourself you will exude a natural air of confidence, and by trying to be something else you will come across as fake. Just whatever you do keep your chin up, remain who you are, and keep your eyes and heart open.
asadguy Posted April 11, 2005 Posted April 11, 2005 I´m forgetting this girl, This world can be cruel sometimes, I begin to remember her, seing things in the street or when the radio plays her favorite song. I blocked her on MSN. It seems that everything is good for now between them(the girl and her ex). I hope she happy and wish her the best. I seem to like more a music by Jack Johnson " Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" I dont know why though. I like his songs, but this one is growing on me.
Screenplay Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 You know, you've taken the higher path. Sometimes, the cards are thrown into the air and sometimes they don't fall the way you like. Shrug, saddle up, move on. The most respectable thing you can do at this point is wish them the best as you already have, and the most helpful thing you can do is realize things have ended as you already did. I was in the same boat, came to the same conclusions, and am glad I did. On a side note, that song grew on me too. I don't know why either.
westernxer Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 Originally posted by asadguy Whats up when you hear.. I see you like a big brother, you´re a nice guy. It means you're only hearing half the truth. What they fail to mention is "... but I'll never date you." Big brother is just a cop out. Name one woman who dates her brother (Angelina Jolie liplocking her brother at the Oscars doesn't count). There you go. You need to add a little mystery to your persona... stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, especially when you talk to women. They tell you how sweet you are and ask you not to change, yet you still wind up empty handed. In the meantime, who are they dating? Why not you? Not saying you have to sell your soul, but the last thing you want is sympathy. No one respects a pussycat, but they definitely make way for the lion. Split the difference and you'll be on your way.
asadguy Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 westernxer the thing is that I do not see myself being a jerk. I believe women should be treated w/ respect, never cheated on of course being a gentleman is a must. If she doesn´t like me for that then she doenst deserve a guy like me. Go to a jerk and be mistreated, but dont complain later that he treats you like sh*t. It was your choice and so on. I´ll keep being myself, honest, faithfull and a gentleman. I know that I´ll find a person who will like this qualities and she will also treat me with respect.
westernxer Posted April 12, 2005 Posted April 12, 2005 You can treat them with respect... just don't become a doormat in the process. It's good to have values to aspire to (I live by a certain code myself), don't get me wrong. I just don't want to see you getting burned by someone who says one thing yet does another. I wouldn't even use "why women go out with jerks" as a topic of discussion with members of the opposite sex. The men who are getting the girls don't use this excuse. Don't use the gentleman routine to overcompensate, that's all I'm saying. Get more aggressive.
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