Butterflye Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 just recenty got dumped by a guy who i think the WORLD of. I still cry everyday over i and it's two months later! In the begining i tried to be calm and restrained and i did eventually contact him because i found out from a friend that he is 'fed up' of being single, and feels bad for how he treated me - he was a bit of an idiot to me with the break up. After the initial contact though, i admit, i made the classic mistakes, i told him i want him back, i pestered, i texted, emailes and msned when i should have given him space. I'm just worried i've ruined it now. I have now been doing NC for a week and it is soooo hard for me when all i want to do is jsut to have him back with me. There's a part of me which knows that he does still care/like me. He told me how he doesn't regret his decision to break up with me most days, and for him to say st like that is kind of a big deal, knowing him as the kind of person he is. But what do i do now?? Do I keep on with NC? What do I do if he contacts me? How can I win him back? we were definaltely good together and i miss him so much. How can i at least increase my chances of getting him back. While I know it's not a certainty, I know i can at least make it more of a probability, but how? Does anyone have any stories of how they won back an ex? I just need some hope.
Merin Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Best Bet at this time is to do nothing.. Leave him alone.. Do not continue to sweat this guy.. it comes off as desperate and nobody likes that. Re~Direct here.. focus on YOU.. get out with your friends, go to the gym.. do things that make you happy and feel great.. BUT LEAVE HIM ALONE. He knows where you live, he knows your Phone number, email addy and any other method of contacting you.. if he wants to he will.. but trust me he isn't going to miss you if you never go away.
Conundrum Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 I would stick with NC. Trying to contact him will only push him further away, ya know. I know how hard it is to tell someone you love them when they dont want to hear it. There really is no way to win someone back. They must come back on their own. All badgering will do is make him feel guilty about what he did to you. Would you rather him come back to you on guilt or because he geniunely wants to. Please try NC a little longer and think about why he broke up. Try to think if those prevoius problems can be fixed.
simon_uk Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Hey there! I dont think I am in a position to help at the moment but as hard as it is the best thing to do is NC! I have been there before and I am there again now. Different girl, same story. i know from the last girlfriend though that contacting her and telling her how much she means to me and how much I loved her did nothing to bring her back. Not a Thing, all it did was push her over the edge until she changed her phone number. I know its hard sweet, but if you want him back you have to leave him alone to ponder over his feelings and to miss you. Its hard but you are not alone. Love Simon
sleeplessincnd Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Move on and forget about him, men always come back when you are over them! So either way you will be the winner. But don't put yourself through days of hell thinking about the good times and how they are gone. Think about the times he acted like an ass and all the things he did that annoyed you - you won't be missing him for long and when you are over it - he'll call. But you will be stronger and smarter and won't care what he has to say. Women greave sooner in a case like this but get over it faster. Men, it takes them longer to realize what they have lost - and that's what it is - HIS LOSS!! Even if you do get to the point about taking about a new relationship you will be in a better position to assert yourself and know what you want out of it - for you, not for anyone else.
Author Butterflye Posted March 29, 2005 Author Posted March 29, 2005 Thank you, all of you for your comments. I know you are right, I suppose I jsut needed to hear it from others to make me strong in my decision. It is really hard, but I'm definately gonna stick to it. I know I'm hanging on but I suppose thats partly because I never fully got a reason from him as to why he broke up with me. He actually said, "you are probably the best thing that's happened to me in a long time, but i'm planning on bein in a different country in a few months time. This would all just get harder and harder. If I could turn back the clock and have met you sooner I would. You don't deserve this, you deserve someone who will commit to you the way I wish I could. I just want to do what's best for both of us in the long run" ....the same old cliche lines...(u see, he went through this bad previous relationship, and when we met i think he was still a bit hung up on it, plus he's away for a year from september this year). I suppose that there's just a part of me which wants to know if he MEANS this, whether he's truly doing this because he BELIEVES this, because he's a commitment-phobe or whether it's jsut that he's not that into me and so is jsut making all these excuses. I guess i want to know it's the former because that means he still likes me, that it's just his own screwed up head thats screwed us because he can't deal with liking me that much. I don't know! Anyway, I shall keep you all informed, thank you for the advice and support.
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