ThaWholigan Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 There's many more posters who convince me otherwise with what they say. Not to mention my real life experiences. There are some people for whom looks has a minimal bearing on love, but it is the vast minority. The thread was meant to be a general/societal reflection. I would imagine you'll put forth that it is the exact same kind of looks?
xxoo Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 There's many more posters who convince me otherwise with what they say. Single posters? Because I don't believe that most people in love and in a long term relationship feel it is primarily about looks. 2
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Author Posted January 17, 2015 (edited) I would imagine you'll put forth that it is the exact same kind of looks? I do yes. But even if 50 guys were in love with Angelina Jolie and 50 guys were in love with the Troll who lives under the bridge, it'd still be stupid. Because it's still controlled by looks, which is visual and emotional. Love should be based on what it would be like if we all looked the exact same, i.e. every guy looked like Brad Pitt and every woman looked like Angelina Jolie, or if we talked on the phone with that person for 1000 hours and never got to see their face. It's much more meaningful. There is this woman from another company I work with on the phone exclusively and she is so nice and seems like such a nice woman. The first that pops into my head is "I wonder how attractive she is?" Do you know how f@cked up that is? Edited January 17, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember
EmperorR Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Love has nothing to do with looks, if you had a child and they came out with deformities would you still love them? Odds are you would. (note: not saying anyone with deformities is ugly) I can think of the few women I have loved, I have even dated much more beautiful women but I just felt infatuation for them not love. 1
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 17, 2015 Author Posted January 17, 2015 Love has nothing to do with looks, if you had a child and they came out with deformities would you still love them? Odds are you would. (note: not saying anyone with deformities is ugly) I can think of the few women I have loved, I have even dated much more beautiful women but I just felt infatuation for them not love. I LOVE that you brought this up ... so I can retort it! Yes. Father and mothers love their kids unconditionally no matter what they look like. But, romantic love is different. It is not only possible, but prevalent that: 1) A mother has a short son or a woman has a short brother whom they love, but they themselves would never date a short man. 2) A man adopts a daughter from another race even though he himself is not attracted to that race. 3) A person has a deformed or dwarf child when they themselves would never date someone like that. It's a different kind of love (parent/child) and a much stronger type of love, because it is not based on looks as you say.
ThaWholigan Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I do yes. But even if 50 guys were in love with Angelina Jolie and 50 guys were in love with the Troll who lives under the bridge, it'd still be stupid. Because it's still controlled by looks, which is visual and emotional. Love should be based on what it would be like if we all looked the exact same, i.e. every guy looked like Brad Pitt and every woman looked like Angelina Jolie, or if we talked on the phone with that person for 1000 hours and never got to see their face. It's much more meaningful. There is this woman from another company I work with on the phone exclusively and she is so nice and seems like such a nice woman. The first that pops into my head is "I wonder how attractive she is?" Do you know how f@cked up that is? Why is it more meaningful? Is it bad to be attracted to the way a person looks? Is it inherently shallow that physical attraction is the gateway to relationships for a significant amount of people? Maybe it is for those who struggle with this area - or at the very least place more emphasis on this area than they would like to think they do. 1
regine_phalange Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 It;s actually very stupid, but all nice things are stupid 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I think love is smart and I am fine with accepting that physical attraction usually draws people together. I'm not beautiful either!!
Imajerk17 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 (edited) You've been going on "looks are everything" OP for a long long time. And yet you completely ignore other stuff such as personality that are far more important than looks. I know a guy who is 5'4 maybe 5'5" not white who does amazing w women. He now has a girlfriend. So it's not looks that are rendering guys dateless. Yes chemistry is elusive. It's still going to be hard for a guy to get a woman interested if he is gloomy, full of self-pity, and comes across as boring, which is quite possible to come across that way indeed if your main hobby is watching sports on tv for hours on end. Women are attracted to *doers* JJS. Low-hanging fruit you might want to consider? Getting these things down may not fix everything but it will certainly help. Edited January 18, 2015 by Imajerk17 3
jeffmeyers Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Seriously, love is discussed as the end all/be all in our society. It's in all the movies, songs, TV shows and novels. But love is completely controlled by looks. You meet a woman/man and your ability to fall in love with them hinges on whether they are physically attractive. I mean, I will admit that is my INSTINCT (though I may try and override it). If you are having a good conversation with someone on the phone and you meet them later, whether or not they are physically attractive can completely change the story. Anyone else just question how stupid love really is, whether it works in your favor or not? Or maybe you're shallow. And in your limited life experience, you expect everyone to be as shallow as you.
Snowman219 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 Seriously, love is discussed as the end all/be all in our society. It's in all the movies, songs, TV shows and novels. But love is completely controlled by looks. You meet a woman/man and your ability to fall in love with them hinges on whether they are physically attractive. I mean, I will admit that is my INSTINCT (though I may try and override it). If you are having a good conversation with someone on the phone and you meet them later, whether or not they are physically attractive can completely change the story. Anyone else just question how stupid love really is, whether it works in your favor or not? The only reason love exists is to make babies. So yeah, it's going to get kind of picky. Sorry if nobody told you this. Life is hard. Evolution wasn't designed to fail or lose, it's going to make sure it wins no matter what. Either move aside or get squashed.
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