Boyfriend might break up with me. Should I stop contacting him at this point?

[BooksAndTea]

My boyfriend and I have had a very tough relationship. In the beginning, I felt like I was SO incredibly into him – he was everything I ever wanted, and I was willing to do absolutely ANYTHING to make this work - until I felt he had starting neglecting me for his friendship with his ex-gf. He acted shady, moody and I felt I was constantly chasing him around and trying to make the relationship work – while he had a good time with his ex-gf. After a little while, however, he seemed to be back to normal, apologized for his behavior, attempted to redeem himself – but at this point, I had lost faith in our relationship and started treated him exactly the way that he treated me in the beginning of our relationship. So in essence, first half of relationship = him treating me bad, second half of relationship = me treating him bad for the way he treated me.

 

 

The other day, we had an argument in regard to his whole ex-gf thing, and he told me things like “you’re only good for pissing me off” and so I hung up on him. After that, I messaged him the next day, but he didn’t respond. I then called him, and he said he didn’t feel like talking to me after my behavior with him – and he now realizes how toxic this relationship is. I asked him if he was breaking up with me, and he said “I’ll meet you on Monday, and based on that I’ll tell you my decision.” I asked him if he wanted to talk over the weekend or whether I should message him until we meet on Monday, and he said it didn’t matter anymore.

Nonetheless, today morning, I did message him to tell him that if he wanted to talk about anything before Monday, I would be here for him. Told him how much I loved him, and if he didn’t want to respond/talk until Monday I understood.

 

 

At this point, should I just let things be until we meet on Monday, or should I be comforting him/trying to talk things out with him until we meet? I feel if I go no contact on him right now, he might not even be willing to see me on Monday.

[PegNosePete]

On the basis of your previous thread. You should dump him and not talk to him again. He is a liar and a manipulator.

[Deidre]

On the basis of your previous thread. You should dump him and not talk to him again. He is a liar and a manipulator.

 

THIS x 1000

[d0nnivain]

If you want to fix a problem in any relationship, the 2 people involved have to talk.

 

If you are done, just be done.

 

I'm not sure where your BF stands regarding his EX now. I wouldn't be happy about my SO hanging out with a recent EX. I have said on LS a few times that my husband & I do socialize with my HS BF & his wife once in a while because my husband & him get along; they fostered our current arrangement not me. HS was also 30 years ago. Again, my situation is above board & the spouses are present. Your guy is doing stuff behind your back.

 

I'm not clear on why you two don't plan to see each other until Monday but allowing some time to pas & some calm to enter the situation is probably a good thing.

[seminoles84]

So why would you want to be in this toxic relationship? What am I missing here?

[Ieris]

@BooksAndTea - Don't contact him over the weekend, give him space and more importantly give yourself some time to think about what you want. Go see him on Monday but be prepared to let him go. Ask what you want to ask and say what you want to say but don't plead, don't beg, don't cry (if you can). Sometimes you need to be strong and show that you aren't afraid to walk away from someone who doesn't treat you right.

 

I was in a very similar situation, I was reluctantly to let him go but I knew I had to. I went to see him one last time and just enjoyed myself as I wanted our last day together to be full of smiles and laughter. We both knew it was coming to an end but he was just too weak to end it so I thought I'd do him a favour, I cut the cord and disappeared from his life. He was contacting me franticly and lurking around my house but I completely ignored him. He asked why I'm doing this, why I won't reply but deep down he knows what why. I've told him before I don't share, if you want to talk to other girls, I'll get the hell out of the way. Delete my name and number, have a nice life! He always thought I was all talk.. well in the end I showed him I will walk.

[erklat]

As soon as you feel your partner is dropping red flags instinct drives us to start

chasing. Stop chasing and detach in brace for impact. That is what I'd do if I

could reverse the time.

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, you should stop contacting him.

 

You should also re-read your previous thread and ask yourself why you want a guy who's clearly not very invested in or committed to you.

[bigtrouble]

This is why staying friends with your Ex is a bad Idea...

 

Give him space and let him sort it out, nothing much you can do from your side for now...

[candie13]

give him space, if he asks for space. if you harass him, for sure he won't want to see you on Monday.

[Jenmarie]

Wait a second. He treated you bad in the BEGINNING of the relationship? Shouldn't the beginning be where everyone is on their best behavior, happy and giddy, in the honeymoon phase? If he wasn't treating you right from the start, he won't treat you right later.

 

You two don't seem to be good together if you're hanging up on each other, ignoring each other, etc. Just do yourself the favor and leave him. Don't sit around and wait for it to happen.

[broken77]

What a cocksucker move; to make someone wait like that in such an ominous way. I understand there are some problems/issues, but thats so ****ty.

[Josmatjes]

My boyfriend and I have had a very tough relationship. In the beginning, I felt like I was SO incredibly into him – he was everything I ever wanted, and I was willing to do absolutely ANYTHING to make this work - until I felt he had starting neglecting me for his friendship with his ex-gf. He acted shady, moody and I felt I was constantly chasing him around and trying to make the relationship work – while he had a good time with his ex-gf. After a little while, however, he seemed to be back to normal, apologized for his behavior, attempted to redeem himself – but at this point, I had lost faith in our relationship and started treated him exactly the way that he treated me in the beginning of our relationship. So in essence, first half of relationship = him treating me bad, second half of relationship = me treating him bad for the way he treated me.

 

 

The other day, we had an argument in regard to his whole ex-gf thing, and he told me things like “you’re only good for pissing me off” and so I hung up on him. After that, I messaged him the next day, but he didn’t respond. I then called him, and he said he didn’t feel like talking to me after my behavior with him – and he now realizes how toxic this relationship is. I asked him if he was breaking up with me, and he said “I’ll meet you on Monday, and based on that I’ll tell you my decision.” I asked him if he wanted to talk over the weekend or whether I should message him until we meet on Monday, and he said it didn’t matter anymore.

Nonetheless, today morning, I did message him to tell him that if he wanted to talk about anything before Monday, I would be here for him. Told him how much I loved him, and if he didn’t want to respond/talk until Monday I understood.

 

 

At this point, should I just let things be until we meet on Monday, or should I be comforting him/trying to talk things out with him until we meet? I feel if I go no contact on him right now, he might not even be willing to see me on Monday.

He said he would let you know his DECISION!!! Wow! What a great guy! Maybe your decision should be to not show up on Monday and let his sorry ass sit there and wait for you!

 

Dump him now! He is a loser!