Zahara Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 I took your guys' advice and left. I asked if we could just be friends because the amount of stress from the situation is overwhelming.. he said "you keep on bringing it up so fine" we agreed to still give each other the gifts for Valentines day we bought. So, in your opinions, NC until then? He didn't fight for me, again, so I doubt he cares to have me back. Return your gift and get a refund. Use the money and go to the spa and get a nice massage and a pedi/mani. Pamper yourself. You deserve it. No need to exchange gifts and revisit the possibility of you falling in another hole. Block his number and detox from him. 2
AlexfromBoston Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 Its toxic hun. You are giving this guy the green light to have his cake and eat it to. You're ex selfishly proposed a FWB scenario as he wants to have you around for sexual purposed, but wants to find another girl that he feels more compatible with. I'd venture to guess that you're not his only FWB's either. 1
Author Ara-bella Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 @Alex, yeah definitely youre right, I already caught him trying to get with another girl so I ended it after thinking long about it. Thanks everyone. Wish me luck on trying to get over him. I think I deserve a nicer boyfriend.
Leigh 87 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 @Alex, yeah definitely youre right, I already caught him trying to get with another girl so I ended it after thinking long about it. Thanks everyone. Wish me luck on trying to get over him. I think I deserve a nicer boyfriend. you deserve a guy who's crazy about you. This guy just wasn't tthat into you.
evanescentworld Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 @Alex, yeah definitely youre right, I already caught him trying to get with another girl so I ended it after thinking long about it. Thanks everyone. Wish me luck on trying to get over him. I think I deserve a nicer boyfriend. No luck needed. Gradually, you'll see just what a skank he is, and your recovery will be quite swift. I'm sure you'll be just fine - just keep posting if you're tempted.... You 'think' you deserve a nicer BF? I'm SURE you do!! (PS: let us know what you do with your refund money!!)
RedRobin Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 Thanks for the advice everyone. I think i know it's time to drop him.. Drop him... and shut the door for good. The guy is a weasel. You'll see more clearly as soon as he is out of your life for awhile.
Author Ara-bella Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Will someone help me on this please, I don't know what to do. Since the break up, he's been trying to keep in contact, calling when I don't message back, saying "This is just a bump in the road, we can still work it out, things are bad now but won't be forever" When I say it's done for good he says "why are you doing this to me?" Yesterday he said he wants to talk face to face one week from now before we end for good, and he won't talk to me at all until then. And in this time alone, I'm feeling guilty. Guilty that he's actually trying for me and showing effort and I'm constantly thinking about dropping him. I don't know if I should blame myself for the end, although I know he's been a pretty ****ty bf for two-timing me (ish). Now I know why NC is advised for every breakup, I am a babbling emotional mess like someone predicted.
Zahara Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) Guilty that he's actually trying for me and showing effort and I'm constantly thinking about dropping him. I don't know if I should blame myself for the end, although I know he's been a pretty ****ty bf for two-timing me (ish). Now I know why NC is advised for every breakup, I am a babbling emotional mess like someone predicted. Funny how he only shows effort when you're walking out the door. True effort is consistent. His effort is only shown when he doesn't have you kissing his arse. He's not in control and he's losing his puppet. So he'll spew honey and try to rope you back in. He's not just a ****ty bf for two timing you -- he's always been a ****ty bf. He's never shown effort. He's never made time for you. He's always made you go to him. He's always kept you on the backburner. He's always toyed with your feelings. Please, stop romanticizing this idiot. Why haven't you blocked him? If you want to go back to him, go back. But you can't do this halfway, sitting on the fence crap. Edited February 5, 2015 by Zahara 1
elaine567 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 And in this time alone, I'm feeling guilty. Guilty that he's actually trying for me and showing effort and I'm constantly thinking about dropping him. I don't know if I should blame myself for the end, although I know he's been a pretty ****ty bf for two-timing me (ish). Now I know why NC is advised for every breakup, I am a babbling emotional mess like someone predicted. HE ruined your relationship by being a sh*tty bf. If you take him back he learns that you are a soft touch that he can treat you as badly as he likes and you will feel guilty and take him back. YOU are constantly thinking of dropping him because he is no good for YOU. Life is about choosing the right paths FOR OURSELVES, otherwise we end up miserable. DO NOT let him guilt trip you into taking him back, if you do, you sign up for a never ending heart break city. If you think things are bad now... try a few years down the line. He won't change, he'll get worse.
HeavenOrHell Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 My ex still enjoyed sex and cuddling, holding hands etc, but didn't want to be in a r/ship anymore because he had nothing to give to a r/ship anymore, he was too messed up to be in one, he gave me mixed messages for months after we split, we were long distance, still met up with him after we split, but he used me as he knew I wanted more than friendship and he knew he didn't, so he used me for sex and cuddling etc, he didn't want to let go of me altogether but couldn't commit. It was extremely confusing, for him as well as me. He would get insecure if I was friends with other men, even though he had left me. No, the fact you spend time with his family still means nothing, I spent time with him and his mum after we split, but it meant nothing. Don't let yourself be used, if he can't/won't commit then leave him behind. I didn't want a half hearted thing where he called all the shots, no self respecting person would. Thanks for the advice guys!! But I think the problem lies in the confusion of where we stand. I don't know if I consider him an "ex" yet because he still seems kind of invested. He asked me to be his valentine, he still says I'm his, gets mad when guys try hitting on me, etc.. when I said "Im glad we're still friends" he said "we're friends with benefits and then some." If he really didn't want to be with me would he still be inviting me out with his whole family?? thoughts? There are times I feel like he's using me for sexual purposes but sometimes I think maybe its more than that still.
stillafool Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Arabella just stop for a minute and think about this. All you have done is down grade yourself from girlfriend to a hole to stick a penis into. Don't be friends with this guy. He is using you to get his rocks off. Let him go and move on. I completely agree with the above. Boy, your exbf really got the best end of this deal. Now he gets to have sex with you without commitment and that makes him free to do other girls too. Are you still in love with him and hoping you two will get back together by this arrangement? It's not going to happen.
Toodaloo Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 @Alex, yeah definitely youre right, I already caught him trying to get with another girl so I ended it after thinking long about it. Thanks everyone. Wish me luck on trying to get over him. I think I deserve a nicer boyfriend. Oooh you so do deserve so much better! You go get that pampering and enjoy! Don't give this guy a second thought xx
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