Gloria25 Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Ok, I will preface this with my views on marriage FOR ME has not changed... But, I have seen a lot of stuff over the years and the recent story of the unemployed kid in Ohio who was planning an attack on the State Capitol prompted me to start this thread. On 60 Minutes a while back they had a good story about fellow Muslims who had like a "terrorist" reform program for young men. One thing they advocated was promptly getting the guys married. I believe that the intent was that if you give a young man responsibilities (Ie. A wife and kids), he is less likely to engage in destructive/self-indulgent behaviors. I mean, think about it...we recruit young men in their prime to serve in our military...there was even a time you could not be married and serve. The Fort Hood terrorist guy was a lonely guy w/o a wife and/or kids. Now, while the dead Boston bomber was married, not sure if my theory applies. I'm just saying that maybe marriage is a good thing to "calm" young males by giving them responsibilities and purpose. Ok, I'm preparing to get flamed here... 1
toolforgrowth Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Not gonna flame you, but based on my experience I would say marriage is anything but good for men. My ex wife cheated, yet she still got the majority of time with my daughter in addition to child support in spite of the fact that I make more money and stayed in the marital home. Too many risks, not enough rewards. I'm actually more responsible now as a single guy/father than I was married. I think it's because I'm happier this way. 3
Levite Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 (edited) Here's an interesting news story. I've found this to be true in my own experience: Note: in marriages where there isn't abuse and where the general emotional climate is stable most of the time, I don't think this video applies. But there are cases where dads become better parents once they are out of a volatile and toxic marriage. Edited January 16, 2015 by Levite
preraph Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Sadly, the terrorists and bombers don't listen to their women. The terrorists aren't going to respect their women's opinions or think they ought to have one, and the bombers are many times very isolated individuals mentally and physically.
gaius Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I've had a couple women that could just touch me and my rage would go away. Not all of them are that talented though. =/ Obviously Kathleen Russell and the two married to those French guys were duds.
salparadise Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Not only responsibility... marriage gives young men a socially acceptable outlet for their sexual energy and frustration. The hatred is fueled [in part] by sexual repression and the backlash against permissive western societies that allow what they are forbidden. They aren't supposed to even see a woman's face. I listened to an interview with a reformed muslim radical on NPR just last night wherein he talked about how they target, recruit, brainwash, instill rage, and rationalize violence as the only logical solution. (He's promoting a book.)
PegNosePete Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 You're not saying that marriage is good for men. You're saying that marriage prevents terrorism. I'm not sure I would agree with that. Besides, where are you going to get a supply of women to be used for this purpose? Who wants to marry a terrorist in order to calm him down? 2
todreaminblue Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I do agree gloria......but it has to be in them to want that life......i do believe raising a family you become less self motivated when you have children to raise you have to be......if you love them you naturally become that way.....takes a few mistakes and we all learn as we go along but i would say for men and women......when you marry and have a family your priorities naturally shift...especially men...and also women...it becomes a unit issue or ambition not a single concern or goal in life....and then theres the toilet paper bill that needs to be paid in full .....always need more...a young man getting married....though.....commitment and drive to make it work needs to be had.......i do beleive it stops certain trouble though.deb
Woggle Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Osama Bin Laden had a bunch of wives so marriage didn't stop him. 1
No Limit Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 If those men were easily able to hook up with girls and date they wouldn't be social outcasts, the main audience for terrorism next to people who were raised by radical parents. Besides I don't see how any men would want to be financially responsible for a cheating wife and the children of other men. If you want to take responsibility, why not adopt a dog and try to train him for agility classes?
serial muse Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I agree with the basic idea that giving disaffected young men, who often live in poverty and have few prospects, a sense of hope for the future is a strong strategy for preventing radicalization (which, at its core, gives them "purpose"). I don't think that has to mean marriage, though. Jobs, education - I think those things are more promising strategies. And yeah, I don't know where one would expect to find women who'd want to go along with this plan. 1
insert_name Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Marriage is about a lot of things, one of which is that its a useful tool the state can use to give a man a stake in the society in which he lives. This has been eroded away over the years so now more men than ever will find thenselves marginalised with no romantic interest and no real reason to want to partake positively in that society because they have no wife or kids or other dependents to ensure the long term prosperity of that society. I can quite imagine one of the more extreme (yet rare) reactions to this could be susceptibility to terrorism. Personally I think the west will slowly follow the trend thats starting in Japan where japanese men (called grass eaters) are choosing to shun traditional relationships with women and effectively drop out of society- ie reject the typical trappings of the responsible family oriented male by choosing low skilled labour that doesnt drive the country's economy or infrastructure forward and choosing a life of singledom without stress or responsibility of dependents and just having fun with their male friends. Japan seems to be heading for severe demographic and progress problems in the future if this trend continues in the way it is at the moment. I think western societies could follow suit.
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