finally gonna leave him , I have just one concern...

[bentleyrios916]

so I've made up my mind & made the arrangements I'm officially gonna leave him after 2 years, I attempted to leave once but he talked me out of it , i live in California and I'm gonna move to the east coast with some family til I get back on my feet I haven't mentioned it to him yet SMH he hasn't been home in 2 days but my mind is pretty made up, I'm just waiting for my tax return which will be here in a few weeks only thing that concerns me is every single time we brake up we get back in touch and if its not me asking him to be with me its the other way around, im 6 months pregnant and i want to go cold turkey no contact no communication but I can't our baby will be here soon whaat should I do about that ? Also I have a history of depression and just talking about it makes me get kinda depressed I can't stay with him anymore any advice

[PegNosePete]

In my time on here, I've heard a lot of excuses and justifications for not leaving a bad relationship.

 

"Waiting for my tax return" is a new one for me!

 

Don't they have a phone number that you can ring and tell them your new address?

 

Your other thread says he is abusive and threatening. Who gives a crap about a tex return when your life and your baby's life are at risk?

 

GET OUT.

Edited January 15, 2015 by PegNosePete

[bentleyrios916]

In my time on here, I've heard a lot of excuses and justifications for not leaving a bad relationship.

 

"Waiting for my tax return" is a new one for me!

 

Don't they have a phone number that you can ring and tell them your new address?

 

Your other thread says he is abusive and threatening. Who gives a crap about a tex return when your life and your baby's life are at risk?

 

GET OUT.

Ummm I'm not going to sound bitchy but u don't know my situation he takes all my money , I'm waiting for my tax return so I can afford to pay for my things to come with me as well as purchase my plane ticke . Also my family is taking me in and providing me with a home I'm waiting for my tax return so I can pay my way with no complications , my family WONT buy me q ticket because I had them buy me one once before they spent 450$ and I turned around and never got on the plane so my family agreed to let me come as long as I provide my own transportation because they don't want to waste any more money on me

[PegNosePete]

Ummm I'm not going to sound bitchy but u don't know my situation

No, I only know what you've told us. I am not psychic.

If you'd care to explain a little more then you might get some better advice.

[bentleyrios916]

No, I only know what you've told us. I am not psychic.

If you'd care to explain a little more then you might get some better advice.

 

My apologies I'm new to this board I was posting somewhere else its a very long story I'll try my best to give u a image as to why I feel this way...

we met when we were 17 we're both 20 now he has a history of domestic violence I even put him in jail once he's controlling possessive delusional verbally and physically abusive he never let's me keep my own money he takes it all its hard to hang out with my family and friends because he's insecure and thinks I'm cheating , he's just not a cool guy he's manipulative I bend over backwards for him but he's never happy with what I do he leaves for days at a time and just leaves me at home , if I go visit family he'll leave me there and make me find my own way back I love him but he's very toxic in my early stages of pregancy he beat me so bad and kicked me in the stomach I had to go to the hospital now he just chokes me and holds me down

[preraph]

Check your state laws for custody, but you can't usually move more than a prescribed number of miles with the child away from the father. Unless he signs all his rights away, including providing any support. You will be required to let him have joint custody if he wants it and probably won't be allowed to live further than a couple hours away from each other, and you'll both have to take turns driving the child back and forth 3 times a week. Either get him to sign the child away to you and give up all support (and he probably won't want to do that) or stay put so you don't cause more problems for yourself.

 

If the relationship has been physically abusive or he but not you has severe addiction, there's a chance a court would award you custody, but if he ever rehab'd and wanted to see the child, he could revisit court and get the order changed. Even physically abusive and addicts often get monitored visitation. You've had a kid now and the likelihood is you're stuck with him for life, in one way or another. Get an attorney for more info.

[PegNosePete]

in my early stages of pregancy he beat me so bad and kicked me in the stomach I had to go to the hospital now he just chokes me and holds me down

I can't say this strongly enough.

 

GET OUT.

 

By staying near this man you are putting your baby's life at risk. And your own life.

 

GET OUT.

 

If you need help getting out then there are plenty of resources available to you. Search for local women's shelters or contact the police. But please, GET OUT before your baby's life is ended the next time he decides to kick you in the stomach.

[Toodaloo]

My apologies I'm new to this board I was posting somewhere else its a very long story I'll try my best to give u a image as to why I feel this way...

we met when we were 17 we're both 20 now he has a history of domestic violence I even put him in jail once he's controlling possessive delusional verbally and physically abusive he never let's me keep my own money he takes it all its hard to hang out with my family and friends because he's insecure and thinks I'm cheating , he's just not a cool guy he's manipulative I bend over backwards for him but he's never happy with what I do he leaves for days at a time and just leaves me at home , if I go visit family he'll leave me there and make me find my own way back I love him but he's very toxic in my early stages of pregancy he beat me so bad and kicked me in the stomach I had to go to the hospital now he just chokes me and holds me down

 

Based on that I would go with Petes advice...

[spiderowl]

Have you ever spoken to the people at a women's shelter or anyone specialised in dealing with people who are suffering from domestic abuse? If not, I think it's really important to. They have a better understanding of the stages people go through and might be able to help with understanding and tips so that you don't go back into the situation again.

 

I've heard there's something called 'traumatic bonding' which is sometimes a reason why people stay together when it's clearly dangerous to do so. You may want to look that up online and see if it is something you recognise.

 

Good luck!