cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 (edited) Basically, I understand that girls on this site get 20-50 messages a day and that in order to increase my chances of getting a reply, I need to stand out. I've read that a good way to stand out is to read the girl's profile and then incorporate information about her interests in the first message I send her. I normally read a girl's profile thoroughly and incorporate her interests into my message. I often say something to the effect of " Hi girl's name. I really enjoyed reading your profile. You seem like someone I'd really get along with. I noticed that you like dancing. I recently started taking salsa classes and I'm really enjoying them. Do you do salsa dancing? - My name ". I've messaged approximately 50 girls in a week's time and I haven't gotten a reply. Am I approaching openers wrongly? Could the problem be my profile? I'd appreciate any advice that I can get. Edited January 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited out link
Andy_K Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 You're not smiling in your photos, your profile text says virtually nothing, and you sure don't look the 6'4" you're claiming. Include some photos where you are smiling, and with shorter friends so your height stands out.
Author cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 You're not smiling in your photos, your profile text says virtually nothing, and you sure don't look the 6'4" you're claiming. Include some photos where you are smiling, and with shorter friends so your height stands out. I'll add some pictures of myself smiling and pics of me with shorter friends. What should I do for the about me section? Also, what do you think of my approach towards writing openers?
youknow Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 i usually just say "hey, how are you?" works well enough for me
PegNosePete Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Your message is fine but your profile and photos are terrible. You need to put in effort effort to make a decent profile. Come on man. Seriously? This is all you have? Did you think you can just stick any old junk up and the Hot Chick Fairy would rain girls onto you from above? Delete it and restart. Go to the profile reviews forum and read the profile tips thread which is stickied in green. 2
Otter2569 Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Ive been on POF for a while and met a lot of great women. Also met my current GF on there so the site definitely works. You got to have a solid profile - something that says you are fun. You also have to have several pics - preferably with some friends and doing a variety of things. I hear women complain about pics of shirtless guys wearing sunglasses and standing next to a sports car or motorcycle - dont be that guy! I think your email intro is really good. Personally if I only got a "hi" or the all too common "hey there" email from a chic I didnt even stop to read it - very lame. You got to put some thought into in like you are doing and giver it time. It runs hot and cold like anything else. 1
Author cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 Your message is fine but your profile and photos are terrible. You need to put in effort effort to make a decent profile. Come on man. Seriously? This is all you have? Did you think you can just stick any old junk up and the Hot Chick Fairy would rain girls onto you from above? Delete it and restart. Go to the profile reviews forum and read the profile tips thread which is stickied in green. Can you please explain to me what's wrong with my pics
PegNosePete Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Can you please explain to me what's wrong with my pics You don't have any, that's what's wrong. 1
Omei Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 You don't have any, that's what's wrong. People don't reply to someone without pics if you cant show yourself why should we speak to a ghost.
Lokin4AReason Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 People don't reply to someone without pics if you cant show yourself why should we speak to a ghost. maybe they are camera shy =0X
Author cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 You don't have any, that's what's wrong. I had photos but I took them done because you said they were bad. They were two solo pics of me in a park.
Author cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 You don't have any, that's what's wrong. I'll put them back up. So that you can tell me what's wrong with them.
Omei Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 maybe they are camera shy =0X Maybe but most people think if you cant even show your face why should you be someone to take interest in dating.
Lokin4AReason Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 I dunno, I am also on the site .... I take it probably picky or they have high expectations of what they want in an individual ( its like selecting options for a car from the factory ) its a hit or miss kinda thing. remember our past molding US into who WE are now ... no one is perfect and they have to accept individual(s) need chipping off of the shoulder(s) here and there ... if they do not reply to your message(s), its their loose .... because they are missing out and will never know at who you really are. just keep on trying or approach from a different angle ... a bit more mysteries I guess you can say ( from what I have noticed, woman like that from what I have seen in the past )
Omei Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 I think he needs to be less mysterious his profile says nothing about him, who could possibly relate? Op I suggest you look at other people's well thought out written profiles and do that same for yours with things about you.
Author cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 You don't have any, that's what's wrong. I put them back up. Please let me know what's wrong with them. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 I didn't see the pictures but the profile is just sort of dull. You seem like a nice guy (& I don't mean that as a compliment). Fluff it out. Take the "tests" you haven't completed. Add photos. If you don't have good ones, go out & get some. Have a buddy take a bunch of pictures of you over the course of the next week or so. Change your 1st date from "sushi at a upper class place". First, not everybody likes sushi. I hate the stuff. "at an upper class place" makes you sound like a snob & some girls may be intimidated. I get you are trying to impress & show that you are willing to spend money on the finer things in life but the word choice just makes you look like you are trying too hard I'd replace it with something like I'd enjoy sharing a plate of sushi with you; perhaps we can feed each other but if that's not your thing, we can talk about something you would prefer to do. That's not perfect either & the idea of such an intimate sharing on a 1st date may also be off-putting to some but I'm trying to jump start your creative process. Also it's been a while since I looked at the statistics but in any direct marketing campaign the rule of thumb used to be anything close to a 5% return on investment used to be considered outstanding. I think that number went down to .08% with the advent of the internet so I would tell you that if 1-2% of the women you message are getting back to you, consider it a victory & move forward. 1
Author cbplayer Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 I didn't see the pictures but the profile is just sort of dull. You seem like a nice guy (& I don't mean that as a compliment). Fluff it out. Take the "tests" you haven't completed. Add photos. If you don't have good ones, go out & get some. Have a buddy take a bunch of pictures of you over the course of the next week or so. Change your 1st date from "sushi at a upper class place". First, not everybody likes sushi. I hate the stuff. "at an upper class place" makes you sound like a snob & some girls may be intimidated. I get you are trying to impress & show that you are willing to spend money on the finer things in life but the word choice just makes you look like you are trying too hard I'd replace it with something like I'd enjoy sharing a plate of sushi with you; perhaps we can feed each other but if that's not your thing, we can talk about something you would prefer to do. That's not perfect either & the idea of such an intimate sharing on a 1st date may also be off-putting to some but I'm trying to jump start your creative process. Also it's been a while since I looked at the statistics but in any direct marketing campaign the rule of thumb used to be anything close to a 5% return on investment used to be considered outstanding. I think that number went down to .08% with the advent of the internet so I would tell you that if 1-2% of the women you message are getting back to you, consider it a victory & move forward. Can you see the pics now? What should I do to make the profile less dull and more interesting? I wrote this is my about me "I'm a really funny and laid back guy. I'm always cracking jokes. You'll never have a dull moment around me! I'm also educated, smart, and very ambitious. I have big dreams. Feel free to hit me up!!". I don't quite see how that is dull. Should I have written something longer and more detailed? Thank you for the advice on the first date section.
angiefly Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 I'm on dating sites and I like when a man reads my profile before he messages me and then tells me any interest we have in common. You're a handsome guy! In my opinion I'd delete the pic of you playing on your phone though. Put up a nice picture of you smiling. Tell more about your hobbies/interest in your profile and make it more inviting. Your profile lacks personality and prospects may think that maybe you might too. It's the first impression someone online will have of you, so make it count 1
PegNosePete Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 I put them back up. Please let me know what's wrong with them. They are out of focus, you're not smiling or even looking at the camera, you look bored and uninterested. 2 is not enough. Your 2 lines of "profile" are full of totally generic, boring adjectives that apply to 99.44% of guys on the planet. It's a totally terrible profile. Seriously, delete and restart, this time putting some effort into it.
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Can you see the pics now? What should I do to make the profile less dull and more interesting? I wrote this is my about me "I'm a really funny and laid back guy. I'm always cracking jokes. You'll never have a dull moment around me! I'm also educated, smart, and very ambitious. I have big dreams. Feel free to hit me up!!". I don't quite see how that is dull. Should I have written something longer and more detailed? Thank you for the advice on the first date section. Don't tell me you are funny. Tell me a joke. Don't tell me you are ambitious. Share one of your ambitions with me. For example, I'm a stock clerk in the local grocery store now, working my way through school but armed with my future MBA one day I will own a chain of groceries stores. Make it fit who you are. Everything you said is a cliché. I'm old enough to be your mom but "feel free to hit me up" imo negates your claim to be educated or smart. It screams the exact opposite to me. If I was your age, I might feel differently.
Otter2569 Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Having a nice or catchy "user name" really helps too. This guys is pretty lame. Its just like your resume - you have to stand out from the crowd!
DivorcedDad123 Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I"d show some ambition. What you want to do with your life. You're young,so the world is yours for the taking. Include what you're looking for in a person. Have your own place? Say it! Looking to move? Say it! The great thing is you can always make updates to it. I liked when women would make updates. It gave me a reason to keep checking their profiles and it let me know they were still available and interested. What do you like to do in your spare time(include some pics of that) I'm terrible at taking pictures,because I just dont have a reason to,unless someone takes one of me doing something. Most of mine were on the boat fishing or hiking,or something outside,because that's where I like to be. lol And, "hmu" is the LAZY way out. Come out and tell them to contact you if they're interested. Open the door for them.
Gaeta Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 You are 21 years old, you don't need an elaborate long profile! I like what you wrote and it's fine! Girls your age want to see your pictures and they want to see a smile. Put up good pictures of you smiling and you will get attention. I am a long time user of POF. A man with a long elaborate text is not going to get more attention from me than one with a short well written profile. It's about his pictures, a couple of details in his profile. The rest is about connecting.
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Don't waste your time making the perfect profile. Almost every girl's profile says "Just ask". Online dating is all about looks. I suggest you go and take some really good pics, or even hire a professional photographer and try again.
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