Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 You were her re-bound...move on She just texted me this: "She just sent me a text then: "Im sorry, I literally feel sick after saying that, It's just im getting feelings for you and i just think im getting them too quickly,,,I don't know what to do..honestly
Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 After she left she text me this: "Im sorry, I literally feel sick after saying that, It's just im getting feelings for you and i just think im getting them too quickly,,,I don't know what to do..honestly"
EmperorR Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 a week in and already issues, just save yourself and wish her well. 2
Satu Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Step back and let her reach out to you. Don't reach out to her.
Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 OK we actually sorted the problem out in the end. We both thought the relationship was going way to fast for both of us so basically decided to take it down a notch She said she wants to keep it how it was with us and take things a bit slow without rushing into a relationship which I completely agree with.
Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 She told me that she was scared of how fast she was developing feelings for me and thought it was all happening too quickly and she didn't know what to do. She thought it was so sudden that it was scary to her. She didn't want to tell me that in person because she thought it would scare me. She said she doesn't want to take the relationship back a step, but doesn't want to rush into a relationship because she doesn't like flings. That once she is in a relationship it has to be serious. She's not one to waste her time. She just wants to take her time. A bit later after all this she invited me to fly up to where her family lives and meet all of them in 2 weeks time. Any advice on all this???
fallenheart Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 She sounds like a psycho that just wants to play games and create unecessary drama and conflict. Just keep banging her if you can, but for gods sakes, don't get emotionally attached. She's trouble.
Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 She sounds like a psycho that just wants to play games and create unecessary drama and conflict. Just keep banging her if you can, but for gods sakes, don't get emotionally attached. She's trouble. To be honest I think she might of been pretty hurt in her last relationship which ended about 4 months ago, pretty sure she was cheated on. Even though this came off as crazy in writing, it wasn't that bad in person because we were both mutual about how fast it was going and we solved the problem pretty quick. In conclusion I think I can sometimes come off as not interested because I also have some trust issues due to my last relationship and she thought I was using her to have sex and that was it. I think in telling her I was developing feelings too she came to understand that I wasn't some player trying to play her over.
Redhead14 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 To be honest I think she might of been pretty hurt in her last relationship which ended about 4 months ago, pretty sure she was cheated on. Even though this came off as crazy in writing, it wasn't that bad in person because we were both mutual about how fast it was going and we solved the problem pretty quick. In conclusion I think I can sometimes come off as not interested because I also have some trust issues due to my last relationship and she thought I was using her to have sex and that was it. I think in telling her I was developing feelings too she came to understand that I wasn't some player trying to play her over. Direct, in person communication is the key to most every dating issue. Patience, understanding the person for who they are and not based on previous relationship personalities, issues will help you be successful in developing a relationship. I'd further say, however, since you've overcome this stumbling point, you both should continue to manage expectations for a relationship even to and through the point that you begin to live together, if that happens. The truth is that you don't really know a person until you've spent that much time together or at least large blocks of time.
Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 Direct, in person communication is the key to most every dating issue. Patience, understanding the person for who they are and not based on previous relationship personalities, issues will help you be successful in developing a relationship. I'd further say, however, since you've overcome this stumbling point, you both should continue to manage expectations for a relationship even to and through the point that you begin to live together, if that happens. The truth is that you don't really know a person until you've spent that much time together or at least large blocks of time. Yeah I suppose so, thanks for the help.
Omei Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 OK we actually sorted the problem out in the end. We both thought the relationship was going way to fast for both of us so basically decided to take it down a notch She said she wants to keep it how it was with us and take things a bit slow without rushing into a relationship which I completely agree with. Glad you worked it out, but in the future if it feels right dont worry about it so much
Author Rexxy Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 Glad you worked it out, but in the future if it feels right dont worry about it so much I'm glad we worked it out too. Yeah I agree!
Author Rexxy Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 Thought I would just take the time to let everyone know on how this relationship is going so far a month later. I guess I can say that I got really lucky with this girl, at times I thought that the speed of this relationship would crash and burn as quickly as it started but once again nothing is predictable. We still see each other around 3-4 times a week, plan things together weeks in advance, and text each other on a daily basis (Flirting, not conversations). We both feel extremely comfortable with each other sharing our thoughts, communicating about everything, and enjoy the time spent together more than anything. I've never had someone in my life that can make me laugh in the most simple ways, her humor gets me every time. My sarcastic sense of humor, sometimes a little harsh unfolds the biggest smile on her face lighting up her day. We support each others goals, encouraging, and motivating each other as much as we can. In only a month we have both had our downs whether its regarding family or other personal issues and without a second thought we lift one another back to our feet and back on track. I tend to stay away from the more traditional dates of eating at restaurants, etc so we both headed to the beach at night, the only two in sight comforting each other as we laid back and stared in the stars discussing what we want to do in life, and how we should live differently to the standard 9-5 job, instead travelling the world and experiencing what is has to offer. We seem to have the same outlook on life and I can't wait to find out what more this relationship as to offer. Its an amazing feeling when the first thing you do when you see each other is release an unforced smile that can't be resisted and the look of a lightened up day. Thanks for reading.
Author Rexxy Posted March 13, 2015 Author Posted March 13, 2015 Updating again. Now a month on we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I couldn't be happier. I guess this relationship has so far defied the odds and I hope that continues, never give up or think otherwise just because people doubt the whole situation. Thanks for everyone's help anyway. 1
Photofinish Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Well obviously it's going to be an awkward relationship if you guys had sex so quickly. That sounds awkward . What do you expect if you take the relationship to the fastlane? It isnt going to slow down from there on out.
fitnessfan365 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 The problem is that a lot of women join OLD sites with the mindset of finding a boyfriend. Not meeting a guy they can have fun with and get to know naturally. So from the jump, they are relationship focused. They want to text 24-7 before you even meet. They want to know your life story within three dates. Then within a month of seeing each other, they want exclusivity. I'm sorry sweetheart but it takes me at least 2-3 months of solid dating before I even consider it.
Redhead14 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 I started dating this girl about a week ago (met her once, a month before at a club) and I feel this like this relationship is in fast forward mode. On the first date I ended up back at hers and slept with her. The second date she came to my house (I live at home) to spend the night with my family and next door neighbors, like a mini party. (Parents and neighbors really liked her). She stayed the night at mine and we had sex twice. The next day we spent it together going to the beach, etc and just hanging out. But during the night whilst intoxicated (I know the truth comes out) when we were lying in bed she asked me "What are we? Dating or exclusive?" and I said dating pretty quick, she then said things like "you know I wouldn't be here if I didn't like you so what do you think of me?" and I kept it simple and said "im enjoying the time im spending with you" We text everyday (not obsessive texting) like sending photos and things, also saying goodnight to each other. I'm never experienced all these things to happen so quickly within a week. I'm used to it been a little bit harder with communication and things. she's a really cool girl but due to a past relationship of mine it can take a bit longer for me to develop trust. I don't know if I need advice or for someone to tell me "it's alright", I thought I would just share. Thanks. You are correct, it is moving entirely too fast. This woman appears to get into "instant" relationships. She will be needy, clingy and emotional if you continue to see her. "she's a really cool girl but due to a past relationship of mine it can take a bit longer for me to develop trust." Of course, it takes a bit longer to develop trust even if a person hadn't had a bad prior experience. She should be taking more time to develop trust as well! "you know I wouldn't be here if I didn't like you so what do you think of me?" With this statement she is telling you she wants to be your girlfriend. On top of that, she is asking you for "validation" by wanting to know what you think of her. I'd bet she will often seek validation in the future and another sign of neediness. Her asking you after the 3 "date" about a relationship status, is about her backpedaling to "redeem" herself for having slept with you soon. My guess is she's done this kind of thing before. She will have sex with a man quickly because she thinks it will bond him to her and will then be her boyfriend. If you do really like her and want to continue seeing her, I suggest telling her what you are looking for for YOU out of your dating experiences. And let her tell you what she's looking for. Even if you two are on the same page, I would back off some. I would keep calls to say once a week for a little while and when you do call, make specific plans that do not include sex. Create a little space but keep in touch so she doesn't get too anxious when she feels the pull back. Kinda hit the reset button and start over. If she starts calling you often and/or texting -- chasing you, let it go anyway. She's overly invested for such a short dating period. If you want to continue seeing her, you need to manage the situation and expectations for yourself. You are not managing her emotions or expectations. That's for her to do. If she can't do that, move on. Of course, if you're not on the same page to start with, you end it anyway.
Redhead14 Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 Sorry about the post I entered above. I somehow missed the Updated part of this . . . however, I mean't what I said
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 First of all, I would never tell anyone that it's OK to sleep with a new dating partner on the first date, nor would I recommend seeing them the very next day for a party with friends and family and sex following. I'm guessing that this woman is young or very immature about dating. It was wise of her to ask about exclusivity after sleeping with you, but it was entirely too fast to be going down that road at all. I'd say she is looking for or gets into "instant relationships". You allowing her to meet family and friends likely gave her the impression you were already thinking about having her as your girlfriend. This is something that shouldn't happen until you are close or already have asked her to be your girlfriend. If you like her enough, I would put the brakes on a little. Spread your dates out and tone down the texting and calling. If she is texting and calling you, keep the conversations shorter. Maybe once a week you call her and schedule a date for the following week and be specific about date, time and location to help her manage any anxiety she may be feeling if she realizes that things are slowing down. If she starts coming at you more aggressively because she realizes things are slowing down, you should be honest with her. Tell her you enjoy your company but that you feel the need to take it more slowly. She may get upset by this because women are told that women a man says he wants to take it slowly, it's a sign that they are fading out. That is not always the case, it is usually a result of a woman pushing to hard and early for a relationship. An honest man, who really likes a woman, will tell them this because they really do like them and want the opportunity for a relationship with them but for it to develop in a healthy way. NOT ALL MEN ARE JERKS. If you like her enough, you should allow a relationship to develop naturally and a bit more slowly for reasons I am sure you understand. Damn woman, you are one VERY smart lady!!! +1000
Gary S Posted March 13, 2015 Posted March 13, 2015 That relationship is going pretty fast. It's going good so far, but the problem is, since you haven't taken the time to know her, you really don't know what her personality is like. She could be a nag, or a bunny-boiler, for all you know. I guess you'll find out in the coming weeks... if it lasts. I don't recommend sleeping together on the first or second date.
Recommended Posts