every job I had a married woman has asked me this personal question

[smg15]

"Are you married?" Today I was getting my lunch of the freezer in the breakroom and the woman was like

 

"I am going to need you to start cooking and stop eating all that microwave food. Are you married? I said NO. Do you have a Girlfriend?

 

Somebody should be cooking for you.

 

 

But if I were to ask the women at my job how old they are then I would be in the wrong right? That question has always annoyed me because it's so damm intrusive and I don't like it . When she didn't stop after are you married I could feel myself getting ready to SNAP lol

[Toodaloo]

They are trying to see if you are single so they can potentially introduce you to other single women that may suit...

 

Take it as a compliment!

[Haydn]

It`s funny cos they assume most women cook. They don`t. (in my circle)

 

It would irritate me as well.

[Shepp]

The cooking thing would be irritating.

 

The are you married question is just someone taking an interest in your life outside work.

It's one of those basic things you know about people right? - I know if the guys I work with are married, if they have kids, how many brothers/sisters they have.

[Toodaloo]

Its just a turn of phrase...

 

They would like to see you "looked after" or happy... Many people still believe that happiness comes from being with another person.

 

Most of the better cooks I know are male these days...

[PegNosePete]

They are just using the cooking thing as an excuse to find out your availability.

 

Correct response:

"Are you married?"

"No, do you know anyone who might want the job?"

[elaine567]

It is just being friendly,it is called gettng to know someone.

You are defensive because it is a sore point for you, most never bat an eyelid at that question.

Are you married? Is not the same as asking a woman her age.

 

I would ask a work colleague if they are married or in a relationship/dating etc. ask about their kids, but I would never ask someone their age, unless I needed to know for some reason, eg for form filling.

Age, can be an issue for many ie they perceive they are too young or too old, so best not to go there really. Asking about age is not seen as friendly.

[ponchsox]

People tell me that all the time. They're like "you need to find you a good wholesome woman." I'm like, well where the heck are they?

[d0nnivain]

I too would venture to say that most married women who ask you this are trying to determine if you are free to be fixed up. They don't want to push if you have a GF.

 

 

Now that you know the true motive, does the Q seems less awful? These women are trying to help you.

[central]

Now that you know the true motive, does the Q seems less awful? These women are trying to help you.

 

I wonder. Perhaps misery loves company? Goodbye happy singledom!

[Frank2thepoint]

I can see how the question can be irritating, especially if you hear it often. But you can also turn the question into a positive and ask back if they know someone they can hook you up with that doesn't mind cooking for a man. Or you can start cooking for yourself and just answer you don't need a woman to cook for you.

[Toodaloo]

I can see how the question can be irritating, especially if you hear it often. But you can also turn the question into a positive and ask back if they know someone they can hook you up with that doesn't mind cooking for a man. Or you can start cooking for yourself and just answer you don't need a woman to cook for you.

 

It also helps if you add a few attributes so they know what to look for when setting you up

[Lokin4AReason]

drama in the work place .... ( gossip )

 

 

its should get a bit interesting ....

[serial muse]

Ha, that would irritate me too, but I think it probably does come from a place of kindness. There's a certain brand of people who like to "tidy up" and match the unmatched. Personally, when I was single I hated being set up because they didn't tend to pick people I'd actually be compatible with, just random available single men within a certain age range. But - it was kindly meant, and I think that does matter.

 

So how you answer kind of depends on whether you want them to matchmake or not. Maybe you do!

[preraph]

You're right. They shouldn't be asking it. I don't feel they're trying to fix you up either. Being a woman without kids, eventually some married woman in the workplace gets nosy enough and comfortable enough to ask me all about it and then continues to periodically ask if I have regrets or who's going to take care of me in my old age. So it's not just to men, but it's to women without children as well. They want to see if you're in their "club" or not. If you are, they will feel free to share kid photos with you.

 

I guess to the married question, a friendly "Why? Are you flirting with me?" might shut them up after they quit sputtering. Because that puts the sexual harassment card poised to go into play, and they're who initiated talking about your personal life.

[Ninjainpajamas]

This is a pretty common question to be asked...yes some of the other comments I've been told before as other random things, it's not something I'd have ever put much thought into...even men ask these questions, they're pretty basic.

[smg15]

It is just being friendly,it is called gettng to know someone.

You are defensive because it is a sore point for you, most never bat an eyelid at that question.

Are you married? Is not the same as asking a woman her age.

 

I would ask a work colleague if they are married or in a relationship/dating etc. ask about their kids, but I would never ask someone their age, unless I needed to know for some reason, eg for form filling.

Age, can be an issue for many ie they perceive they are too young or too old, so best not to go there really. Asking about age is not seen as friendly.

 

Asking me am I married and when you are not single is an issue for me too.

[smg15]

You're right. They shouldn't be asking it. I don't feel they're trying to fix you up either. Being a woman without kids, eventually some married woman in the workplace gets nosy enough and comfortable enough to ask me all about it and then continues to periodically ask if I have regrets or who's going to take care of me in my old age. So it's not just to men, but it's to women without children as well. They want to see if you're in their "club" or not. If you are, they will feel free to share kid photos with you.

 

I guess to the married question, a friendly "Why? Are you flirting with me?" might shut them up after they quit sputtering. Because that puts the sexual harassment card poised to go into play, and they're who initiated talking about your personal life.

 

 

 

I had a friend who told it's only sexual harrassment when there is no sexual attraction lol

[smg15]

This is a pretty common question to be asked...yes some of the other comments I've been told before as other random things, it's not something I'd have ever put much thought into...even men ask these questions, they're pretty basic.

 

On one job I answered with a irritated look because I felt like it came out of nowhere

[Emilia]

I tell people I don't discuss my private life at work and I absolutely do not care if it's seen over the top, crass, knocking them back, etc. If they can ask what they like, I can respond with what I like.

[Ninjainpajamas]

On one job I answered with a irritated look because I felt like it came out of nowhere

 

Sometimes the timing can be bad, but people want to know and I'm already kind of ready for it. It doesn't really bother me, I just fire back with my own questions but it's not a negative thing for me that makes me defensive, it might be a bit rude or intrusive based on how it's done but it always seems or feels a little abrupt...most people hint around to these kinds of questions IME, they'll ask leading questions that will answer a lot of those other ones they are curious about.

[AVarma]

You're right. They shouldn't be asking it. I don't feel they're trying to fix you up either. Being a woman without kids, eventually some married woman in the workplace gets nosy enough and comfortable enough to ask me all about it and then continues to periodically ask if I have regrets or who's going to take care of me in my old age. So it's not just to men, but it's to women without children as well. They want to see if you're in their "club" or not. If you are, they will feel free to share kid photos with you.

 

I guess to the married question, a friendly "Why? Are you flirting with me?" might shut them up after they quit sputtering. Because that puts the sexual harassment card poised to go into play, and they're who initiated talking about your personal life.

 

Why are we talking about sexual harassment? I swear it's amazing how offended some people get at the most trivial stuff.