Nath17 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Just looking some advice about my break up. Me and my girlfriend (dumper) were together for 4 years. We are both 20 and have only been each other's serious partner. We were both so in love and everything was so good. She's was so caring and really did bring out the best in me. However I feel she is a very weak person with very little self confidence. During our relationship she lost most of her friends - partly her fault cause she didn't make an effort with them... September 2013, I could tell that she was being distant! And this time she had just started univeristy after spending her school years with me.she decided that she didn't want me be with me at this time (after a very long and drawn out process) i was so shocked, and was in a mess. I begged and chased (which i now know didn't help) I knew that she was confused and knew she would come back. The problem was she was getting attention for a male at work and I could tell she was enjoying talking to him. Whilst we were broke up, she was getting very friendly with him (no dates) and another guy. Cutting a long story short... After a heart breaking couple of months o finally persuaded her to give it another go and by feburary 2014 she was so in love again with me. However, December 2014 she ended it again. Prior to this, she just started a new job and was getting attention from a particular guy in work. I pick up on this again and confronted her, only for her not to say anything about it. She decided that she didn't want to be with me because 'something didn't feel right' and it wasn't what make her happy anymore. Stupidly I begged again for about a week, were I got her to finally admit that she 'wasn't sure' If she liked this new guy. I initially accepted to be friends (because I wanted her in my life) but on day I decided to do no contact. A week later she contacted me saying she was annoyed and couldn't understand why I was ignoring her. 2 weeks later (after nc) a friend told me that she is decided to go travelling at the end of the year and has started going out clubbing (a thing she didn't really do while in a relationship). I just wanted some thoughts on my situation. I've read about gigs and rebound. Obviously I want her back because I love her but Im starting to accept it probably won't happen. Any advice? - sorry it's so long haha
bigtrouble Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 When a woman says she's not happy, its a serious red flag... They are looking at the world differently, sure happened to me. She wants to break the monotonous relationship. So many changes she has to cope up with. She wants to see the world on her own. Your begging and pleading would not help, she sees you differently right now. Such actions makes you less desirable, when you went NC it sure got her attention. Just keep improving, open yourself to the world go NC, you are both young and the world has lot to offer.
Author Nath17 Posted January 15, 2015 Author Posted January 15, 2015 Any thoughts regarding gigs? Or about how she is acting so happy after a 4 year relationship.
Light Breeze Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Any thoughts regarding gigs? Or about how she is acting so happy after a 4 year relationship. I don't know if this is GIGS, what I DO know however is that she is a young lady who after a 4 yr relationship wants to party and date around. Man, she's 20, she probably thought "I'm free!". Also, She enjoys the attention from other guys probably because she didn't get that before while you were seeing each other. That kind of attention is really addicting. Is she happy? That remains to be seen. However, imo what's in her mind right now is not you but partying and enjoying her life. You should too, you know. Go NC, and live a happy life. Plenty of fish in the sea.
bigtrouble Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Any thoughts regarding gigs? Or about how she is acting so happy after a 4 year relationship. I never really given it much thought, I don't want to give myself false hopes. My Ex is in almost a similar situation, I was beggy, needy, emotionally invested, she left me for someone else, just before Christmas and she's having the best time of her life... but here is a post by Homebrew... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/306087-gigs-rebound-left-someone-else-answers-your-questions-here You need to see this... There is nothing we can do to make them want to comeback, there are only things we can do, not to make them comeback... NC, NC, NC... See the movie Swingers 1996, its a good watch, that movie pretty much sums up, all the posts in here...
David87 Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Any thoughts regarding gigs? Or about how she is acting so happy after a 4 year relationship. Gigs is just an excuse, she was your gf for 4 years, she knows you very well, she doesnt see you in her future, your not the one...ok? The sooner you accept this the better. Shes young and she wants to explore, if you love her let her do that...some people are meant to be only in our hearts. NC dude....be a man about it. 1
Recommended Posts