ed-in-the-clouds Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Firstly, Hi All, Im new to this site as a postee but i have used this site and others personal stories and experiences to help me through my own. Now i would like to join you all in gaining personal advice and hopefully share some of my own advice and experiences to help others. Well.... here goes.... With my ex for nearly 6 years. Shes 24 i am 23! Broke up with me end of july 2014. Changed her number and hasnt wished to speak with me since other than once i caught her off guard and she answered and eventually spoke to me in november. nothing since then. Basically a friend of mine told her i had been cheating and taking drugs and lying to her the whole relationship. My best pal of all pals! I went away to work in ireland for 8 months with the plan of saving my earnings for use as deposit on a house abroad and travel plans. Mine and my ex's dream was to leave London! Anyway after this she completely ignored me and changed her number, blocked me on all social media and proceeded to bad mouth me to every mutual friend and enemy. I was taking cocaine on a few weekends, never cheated on her as i know what its like to be cheated on (i do however have close female friends who were in my life before i even knew my ex was alive and that always seemed to be a BIG PROBLEM) I heard through friends that she was now friends with my old friends and seen on nights out with them blah blah blah. I without a doubt reacted terribly childishly and immature by threatening to expose some of her lies (which i have never agreed with from the start) such as driving a disability car which should be used to transport her disabled father around when she actually just uses it to go shopping, out with friends and to and from work, also her mother claiming social benefits pretending that my ex no longer lives in the same house as her mother to claim benefits. I scared her mother and her father and now they hate me when i was always "the perfect guy" and when she broke up with me 2 years prior they were there for me to support me (i dont have a relationship with my own mother). It has essentially been NC for close to 6 months now. Earlier today i get a call from a good friend as she usually does call every so often to chat. She proceeded to tell me that my ex has put up pictures of herself with quotes "no going back", and a quoted pictured saying "life is to precious to spend it with the wrong person, youre better of alone until the mr right comes along" now to me it seems childish but i know its the norm for most to post these sort of things, but this was never her and she detested that aswell (i guess i never knew the real her). When she last broke it off with me she slept with someone else for a month and then called me crying on our anniversary and i took her back. she did the same stuff that time too posting motivational statuses against me such as "out with the old, in with the new" etc. Now my issue is, i tried my hardest to get over her and i actually felt i was and hadnt thought of her at all for over a month.... until today, i find my heart racing again and my concentration has severely dwindled today. Is she trying to get at me or is she just seeking attention from other lads basically saying im over him now and im single and ready to mingle. I would actually love to talk to her but i fear if i call she will just be insulting and rude or not even accept my call. Im in limbo and after 6 months and i still feel the same, its like there is no way out. In a nutshell i love this girl and i would love to try and reconcile with her. Any form of advice would be greatly appreciated all. Thank you so so much in advance. ed-in-the-clouds
Chi townD Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Blah...okay, DUDE! What are you doing! First, stay off the drugs! Cocaine is no joke! And if you did coke a "few times" then I'm sure you're doing pot a lot of the time! Stay off that sh*t! Don't threaten anyone anymore. It doesn't give you power. It actually makes you look weak. Like a little kid having a fit. Now, I'm coming off my soapbox. Dude, you're heading in the right direction. You Left to go to Ireland to work. That's good. Do what you can to stay busy and save as much as you can. Start making positive improvements to your life and keep NC on your Ex. Dollars to donuts your Ex is asking your friends about you. All these positive improvements your making in your life will get back to her and piss her off that your life is turning out so well and more importantly, WITHOUT HER! Get new hobbies, join local clubs. Join a Men's football (soccer) league. Save and travel! Go see the world! You don't think one of your friends isn't going to tell her that you posted a Pic of yourself standing in Times Square in New York? Or the Bean in Chicago? Or surfing in Los Angeles? Or standing on a beach in the Bahamas? That's how you get your revenge! You lead a damn good life! 2
bigtrouble Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Just keep improving yourself stay away from the bad stuff... From your post 6months is a long time, hang in there... Just keep doing NC don't beat yourself over it...
Author ed-in-the-clouds Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Blah...okay, DUDE! What are you doing! First, stay off the drugs! Cocaine is no joke! And if you did coke a "few times" then I'm sure you're doing pot a lot of the time! Stay off that sh*t! Don't threaten anyone anymore. It doesn't give you power. It actually makes you look weak. Like a little kid having a fit. Now, I'm coming off my soapbox. Dude, you're heading in the right direction. You Left to go to Ireland to work. That's good. Do what you can to stay busy and save as much as you can. Start making positive improvements to your life and keep NC on your Ex. Dollars to donuts your Ex is asking your friends about you. All these positive improvements your making in your life will get back to her and piss her off that your life is turning out so well and more importantly, WITHOUT HER! Get new hobbies, join local clubs. Join a Men's football (soccer) league. Save and travel! Go see the world! You don't think one of your friends isn't going to tell her that you posted a Pic of yourself standing in Times Square in New York? Or the Bean in Chicago? Or surfing in Los Angeles? Or standing on a beach in the Bahamas? That's how you get your revenge! You lead a damn good life! You're absolutely right man! I know what ive done to my own body isnt right and i have been off it for over a year now! U never smoked pot, not even a cigarette. but yeah, you are right. i hope it kills her knowing im doing well while she is out partying every weekend and working behind the counter in the bookmakers cursing her life. Her loss, my gain! You know when someone ignored you completely and seems to be doing fine without you, thats what sucks. i wonder if she is feeling as i am, id love to be able to be a fly on the wall and you know..... see her suffer. It would make me feel better knowing that she is human, and did care once upon a time. Youre advice is worth its weight in gold! Thank you
Author ed-in-the-clouds Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Just keep improving yourself stay away from the bad stuff... From your post 6months is a long time, hang in there... Just keep doing NC don't beat yourself over it... Thank you, i understand the use of NC and how it works, but what exactly is the motive and what will it achieve? Have you ever heard of people going NC for years and then talking again. I mean, the way i feel now after 6 months. Id just like to talk to her as a civil human being but she potentially see's me as pond scum!
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