GSP21 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 I was seeing this girl for about 2 months. We went on several dates, held hands, kissed and even exchanged Christmas gifts. So basically, this girl goes back to China for the Christmas break. She comes back and becomes a little more distant. I start doing some "detective work" and I find out that she had a 31-year old boyfriend (remember, she is 20, I am 21) in China all along. They dated in the summer of 2014 in Canada, but the 31-year old guy lost his Visa and had to go back to China. She essentially went back to visit him... Anyway, I am really crushed right now. I know, as a man I shouldn't feel this way, I really, really liked this girl. I'm in the 4th year of a pre-med program so I basically just study most of the time/work in research labs/volunteer in hospitals and I don't have many friends so I began to rely on this girl a lot for emotional support. I tend to fall for girls really hard, rather quickly. The problem is even though rationally, I know she is a *******, emotionally, I still really like her. Thoughts? I suffer from oneitis so I really don't have the heart to pursue another girl right now.
Ieris Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Hmm.. not going to lie or sugarcoat anything but I was hanging out with a lot of international students from Hong Kong and China. Many of them would get a boyfriend/girlfriend just to keep them company then dump them when it was time to go back to their country. A few were good friends of mine and they didn't even feel bad about it.. Not sure if that's the case with you though...
Author GSP21 Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Hmm.. not going to lie or sugarcoat anything but I was hanging out with a lot of international students from Hong Kong and China. Many of them would get a boyfriend/girlfriend just to keep them company then dump them when it was time to go back to their country. A few were good friends of mine and they didn't even feel bad about it.. Not sure if that's the case with you though... The girl isn't an international student. She is a Canadian resident and came her at age 12. She is pretty white-washed. The guy was an international student and worked here for many years.
Ieris Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Ahh I see.. sorry for the mix up. If you know she has a boyfriend... you should let go of her. I know it is hard to let go, especially when you're suppose to be in the honeymoon period. I think you know what you need to do, just have to let your heart catch up with your head x
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 They can't be together & she used you for companionship. Her heart always belonged to him. Sorry.
Author GSP21 Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) They can't be together & she used you for companionship. Her heart always belonged to him. Sorry. This is pretty much my feeling on the situation as well. EDIT: Oh yeah, and I forgot to add, we're in the same 4th-year Chemistry class (only ~20 people) so I have to see her three times a week... Edited January 14, 2015 by GSP21
pinklotus28 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 So sorry to hear about this. You definitely didn't deserve being treated that way. I know it's hard to hear right now and doesn't really ease the pain, but you're honestly still very young and someone even better will come along. That's frustrating that she's in your class but this too shall pass. All the best.
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