Frivolous Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Finally met a nice girl through OLD, shocking I know! I was able to relate to her profile and that continued on our first date, shes smart and sweet. Sorta been looking for a girl like her for ages!! Anyway I text her not long after as I don't mess around. She text back and said she had a great time. I asked her out 2 days later and didn't get a reply. Today I received a message saying that she enjoyed meeting me but didn't want to date someone who is moving away however we could still hang out so the ball's in my court?! Basically i'm in the area for another 7 months on work placement before returning for my final year of uni to a place about 1 hour 30 mins away. So I don't know how to respond? I know its inconvenient but it's 7 months away and i'm not going that far. It's not as if i'm expecting a relationship to form within a couple dates so not sure why shes flagging up the situation straight away?. Maybe she took my first couple of messages as keen because I did tell her she was sweet and that I felt a connection. Maybe a bit too much but i'm just straight forward like that. Anyway, I would of just seen how we got on as friends before thinking anything else but now I sorta feel a bit weird forming a friendship with someone from OLD. Thoughts anyone?
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 I don't think she's hugely into you, but she's happy enough to make a new friend, or kill some time hanging out with you. Don't overthink it, because she isn't. She's trying to lower your expectations from the start, that she isn't interested... then if she meets you to hang out, she knows that you're aware it isn't gonna be anything romantic or long term. Meet her if you want, but don't meet her if you're gonna be thinking about long term, distance, how to make it work.
FitChick Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Tell her you are disappointed that she only wants to be friends but thank her for being so honest and you appreciate it. Then ask her if she knows any women who might be interested in dating a guy like you. You have nothing to lose at this point, so if she gets offended it's because she wants the ego boost of having you hanging around. 2
Author Frivolous Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 I don't think she's hugely into you, but she's happy enough to make a new friend, or kill some time hanging out with you. Don't overthink it, because she isn't. She's trying to lower your expectations from the start, that she isn't interested... then if she meets you to hang out, she knows that you're aware it isn't gonna be anything romantic or long term. Meet her if you want, but don't meet her if you're gonna be thinking about long term, distance, how to make it work. Bit pointless saying she had a "great" time but i guess that's women , I think you could be right. In which case I think it would be weird making a friendship out of it. Don't you think? I mean if I met her and genuinely thought of friendship and nothing else i'd still feel like bit of a loser as I've already let her know I like her
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Bit pointless saying she had a "great" time but i guess that's women , I think you could be right. In which case I think it would be weird making a friendship out of it. Don't you think? I mean if I met her and genuinely thought of friendship and nothing else i'd still feel like bit of a loser as I've already let her know I like her Well, saying 'I had a great time' is pretty much the polite thing you say to people after a date, even if it was uncomfortable and you never plan on seeing them again... it's just polite, it would be pointless to say 'I had a bad time' unless you were really mean! Yeah, could be weird making a friendship out of it, I doubt she actually meant she wanted to be truly 'friends', again, it's just something you say out of politeness when you're not into someone. 'I think we'd be better as friends' sounds better with 'I really never want to see you again'. Literally 0 of the people I went on a first date with and said afterwards 'let's be friends' are genuine friends now.
Author Frivolous Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Tell her you are disappointed that she only wants to be friends but thank her for being so honest and you appreciate it. Then ask her if she knows any women who might be interested in dating a guy like you. You have nothing to lose at this point, so if she gets offended it's because she wants the ego boost of having you hanging around. Asking an uninterested date if she has any friends would just make me look like a desperate weirdo haha Well, saying 'I had a great time' is pretty much the polite thing you say to people after a date, even if it was uncomfortable and you never plan on seeing them again... it's just polite, it would be pointless to say 'I had a bad time' unless you were really mean! Yeah, could be weird making a friendship out of it, I doubt she actually meant she wanted to be truly 'friends', again, it's just something you say out of politeness when you're not into someone. 'I think we'd be better as friends' sounds better with 'I really never want to see you again'. Literally 0 of the people I went on a first date with and said afterwards 'let's be friends' are genuine friends now. I don't see that as polite at all, it's game playing. If I go on a date and i'm not interested I don't say thanks for a bad date I just say it was nice meeting you but I don't think we clicked. Simple! Her message was: I really liked meeting you the other day and had a great time. But knowing that you're moving away soon, I cant start dating someone knowing that. I'm sorry. If you'd still like to hang out, that could be cool. But the balls in you court X Maybe I should just call her out and say "so you're just not that interested"?
Author Frivolous Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 How about this straight forward reply? I don't really see that as an issue as it's 7 months away and I won't be that far away. but if you feel it's a dating deal breaker, I understand. However if you're just not that interested i'd rather just know. Either way, I'm not planning on jumping into a relationship. Like I said in my profile I'm looking for a friend as much as a partner. I'd definitely like to be friends with you and hang out when we have spare time. So there's a comedy gig on this weekend if you'd like to go
kendahke Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) Finally met a nice girl through OLD, shocking I know! I was able to relate to her profile and that continued on our first date, shes smart and sweet. Sorta been looking for a girl like her for ages!! Anyway I text her not long after as I don't mess around. She text back and said she had a great time. I asked her out 2 days later and didn't get a reply. Today I received a message saying that she enjoyed meeting me but didn't want to date someone who is moving away however we could still hang out so the ball's in my court?! Basically i'm in the area for another 7 months on work placement before returning for my final year of uni to a place about 1 hour 30 mins away. So I don't know how to respond? I know its inconvenient but it's 7 months away and i'm not going that far. It's not as if i'm expecting a relationship to form within a couple dates so not sure why shes flagging up the situation straight away?. Maybe she took my first couple of messages as keen because I did tell her she was sweet and that I felt a connection. Maybe a bit too much but i'm just straight forward like that. Anyway, I would of just seen how we got on as friends before thinking anything else but now I sorta feel a bit weird forming a friendship with someone from OLD. Thoughts anyone? Wow, she sure was quick to shut you down. If you're not prepared to commit now, she has no time for you? You two can't even take the time to see if you two can stand to be in the same room together? She made it sound like she could take it or leave it. Doesn't sound very encouraging. A lot can happen in 7 months--like you finding a better position in the area she's in. Well, like she said, ball is in your court. If it was me, I'd lose her number. She has an agenda and you don't fit into it. Edited January 14, 2015 by kendahke 1
Author Frivolous Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Wow, she sure was quick to shut you down. If you're not prepared to commit now, she has no time for you? You two can't even take the time to see if you two can stand to be in the same room together? She made it sound like she could take it or leave it. Doesn't sound very encouraging. A lot can happen in 7 months--like you finding a better position in the area she's in. Well, like she said, ball is in your court. If it was me, I'd lose her number. She has an agenda and you don't fit into it. Yes exactly! I liked her so have given her one opportunity. This was my reply. It was nice meeting you and would like to get to know you more. I don't really feel like me moving is an issue as it isn't far? and it's still 7 months away. In any case i just want friendship initially but it would have to have the potential of going somewhere. Ultimately I am dating for a relationship. Be cool to meet and chat about it anyway!
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