love1336x Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Recently, my lesbian friend of eight years got a divorced, and I should have seen this coming because every single time... she breaks up with a woman... she gets into another relationship within a week or a month, expect not this time around because of ME! For extra support we have hang out more, talk more, and within that time..... her friendship feelings for me... went deeper. I never been with a woman before, but I can't lie... I did want to start maybe a little something with her. We went on vacation together... had sex. It was amazing, but I could not fully give her what she wanting.... and that is to be her girlfriend. She was OKAY with this. She said, "We'll always be best friends" Weeks later... I am talking to my ex, trying to rebuild what we lost... Oh course now... She's very upset with me. She felt I lead her on, in a sense I guess I did, but not really because she KNOWS that I never been with a woman BEFORE! I've told her COUNTLESS of times I did not want to ruin what me and her had for eight years! She PRESSED & PRESSED for it. How is this fair? I miss her already... =( I wish she stop being so angry with me. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 She felt I lead her on, in a sense I guess I did, The rest of that sentence doesn't matter. What is your orientation? The person not being fair here is you. If you already know her pattern is to latch on to someone right out of a break up, then having sex with her was certainly going to give her the wrong impression about your intentions. You might have been bi-curious, but she was the wrong person with whom to act upon your curiosity. Especially at this point in time for her, emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author love1336x Posted January 14, 2015 Author Share Posted January 14, 2015 I think I'm straight, not really sure what I am after we had sex. I loved it. It was nice, but I don't think I could ever get into the habit of that. I never lead her on. I acted the same way I have for years now! She changed the rules to our relationship when she wanting sex! I simply... was tired of fighting, and trying to keep her in the "friend-zone". Before we even kissed I warned her that i want to keep our friendship. She agreed and I agreed. If i would have known i would lose her... I wouldnt have done it then.... Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You didn't set your boundaries. You did not take a stand and tell her you do not want jeopardize the friendship. You indulged her and your desire for the sexual encounter. Friendships and platonic feelings change once romantic feelings and sex occur. It is naive to be surprised at the outcome and current situation you are in. If you want to salvage this friendship, own up to what happened, express that you are responsible just as much she is. But also iterate that you cannot have romantic feelings for your friend, strictly friendship. From there both of you will have to put in some overtime in fixing the friendship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 You're not completely straight or you wouldn't have enjoyed the sex with her. But there's every percentage of straight/gay on the bi scale. Apparently you are more comfortable or attracted to men. As with any other relationship where one wants more than friendship, you'll probably end up having to leave her alone in the end for her to get past it. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 You had sex with her, whether she pushed for it or whatever is pretty moot. It changed the relationship, and now you basically have to deal with how things are now. As far as getting back to just friends, if she wants a relationship and you want friends it might be pretty hard to get there. Age helps a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
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