FortunateSon Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 So, I've met a woman who seems to be everything I have been looking for in a prospective long term partner: great chemistry, same interests and ideals, both with good careers, smart, attractive. The one thing that I am concerned about is that we are 10 years apart in age, me 38, her 28. When we met, we didn't realize the age gap, and when we talk it isn't apparent. It's early and she says she's okay with age gap. I have never dated anyone 10 years younger? Does anyone have any advice or prospective?
WonderWoman911 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Wow,everything that you described is my current relationship. I'll be 26 next month and he'll be 36 next month. I've always dated older guys because they are mature, matching my character. So everything just flows well between the two of us. We enjoy going out, having a great time, etc. So the age difference has NEVER been an issue. He enjoys making jokes about calling me a baby if I may not have heard of certain tv shows,movies,etc., but it's all out of fun. He's full of life and energy just like me, inspite of him being 10 years older than me. Then sometimes out of fun I would call him old man,lol.... just for laughs. But good luck with everything. Enjoy your young woman. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Women always think dating older men says something about them, as in being more "mature" and because of the demeanor of men as they get older they assume he's different and somehow an improvement just because of age, rather than just reacting differently due to experience. At any rate, they take it as a compliment among themselves, so you're free to do what you want...you'll recognize the difference in age and behavior but it depends on you as a guy, if she meets the desired attraction you can sacrifice some of the other bits and some guys don't mind anyway since she's younger it's a bonus within itself. You won't recognize differences in the lovely dovey phase so much but will with little things, and likely after that phase, but if you're guy looking for something specific and she scratches that it itch women go for it. But they think they're just on that same level...even if you're three steps ahead of them. And you will be on somethings, just depends how much you care about stuff like that. 1
shet Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 I don't think that particular age difference is significant enough to mess anything up. At 28 she's not an idiot child, she's in her thirties in under 2 years. And you say it doesn't expose itself - trust me, a real age difference problem emerges every 5 minutes when they don't get the jokes you make, have no clue what you're talking about half the time and don't seem to give a **** about anything except their own identity.
neowulf Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 The biggest drawback of a 10 year age difference probably occurs later in life. When you're 50.. she'll be 40. Now, that isn't necessarily a problem *if* you take measures to look after yourself and stay in shape. However, as time goes on, you may find yourself struggling to keep up with her. A common complaint is having to "look after" the older partner as the time goes on. Still, each case is unique. I wish you both luck! 1
Rydo Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 10 years is nothing. I never date girls my own age.
Assada Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Here's some advice. Its only a problem, if you make it a problem. Thats about it 3
Author FortunateSon Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Thank you all for the input. I feel good about it, I really like her at this point, I guess I am more concerned about how she would feel. She said she initially thought I was 34-35 and said the extra 3-4 years was no big deal. I am guessing everyone goes through an uncertainty phase when starting to date regardless of ages?
BluEyeL Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 My best friends are happily married to each other and there is a 10 year difference between them. I don't see any issue with that.
Lokin4AReason Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 its just a number and its not an issue if you don't make it if you two have an understanding and communicate, I do not see if there will be any problem(s) also compromising is key too ... IMO
Author FortunateSon Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Great advice. We are both successful and have a lot of things going for us. For some reason, despite the fact she said she is okay with it, I feel like I am going to have to convince her or rationalize it to her or others at some point? Is that anything someone has with? People possibly disapproving?
mysteryscape Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 If you like each other, think nothing of the age difference, it's not that much, it's not much at all. You're both pretty fully-formed by now, it's what you make of yourselves that counts. Yes, couples of all ages go through uncertainty, it has nothing to do with age differences per se.
venusishername Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 I think 10 years is nothing. I'm currently talking with a guy 10 years older. I'm 30, he's 40. It's only a big deal if you make it. The younger person is generally more concerned about not being 'mature' enough for the older person. I've never been in your position, so I can't relate! I personally have always preferred older men (at LEAST 5-10 years older)... for various reasons. Geez, even as a sophomore in high school I was more interested in the college boys than the high school boys! She's a grown woman at 28.. so don't think of her too much as a 'baby'. You might learn something from her! 2
BJP56 Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Here's some advice. Its only a problem, if you make it a problem. Thats about it I am with Assada on this one. Me and my GF have 9 year age difference and its not an issue.
venusishername Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 As far as people disapproving?? You think people would disapprove of a man in his thirties dating a woman who is nearly 30? Huh? Disapproval might be justified if she was under legal drinking age or you were knocking on death's door I have female family members who are married/engaged to men in their 50s. These women are in their mid-thirties. I can't imagine anyone in our family thinking 'oh god, how terrible' ! 1
lovexocoach Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 10 years is fine. If the relationship is working, go for it. Good luck!
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