Whatislife Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Hello everyone, This is my first post on here so please excuse any mistakes. I have been with my bf for 4yrs but 2 years ago I started talking to another guy who was a close family friend and fell head over heels for him. I lied to him that I was in a relationship with my current boyfirend and I dated this new guy for a year. We were madly in love and even spoke about getting married, but I wasn't ready as i still had my current bf at the back of my head and had put my feet in 2 boats. Since then I lost my trust with the new guy but i love him a lot and think of him each morning when I wake up, i think of him all the time. I occassionally ring him because I miss him. My bf is planning on proposing to me. He is a true gentleman even after I did what i did he still stood by me and forgave me. But i still cry and want the other guy back. One day hes fine with me and the next hes like leave me alone. He knows my bf is planning on proposing and says I will not do anything to tell him that I'm in love with the other guy. I don't know if its a matter of 'you run after what you can't have' but i do not know what to do. Me and the new guy had so many good memories and I feel so depressed without him. What is he thinking and what should I do? Please? Sorry if i'm confusing but I was trying to write down how i feel all at once. Thanks, Xx
Seeker12 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Honestly? Leave your boyfriend, the guys decent, even through the stormy weather he stood by you, and you cant attach or give him the value he does as a true gentleman. Leave your current boyfriend, you will never find happiness with him why? Because you are happy with your affair guy, your boyfriend doesnt deserve that. The fact youre hung up on the other guy says it all. Let your boyfriend go, you cheated behind his back, he took you back in, now you are still cheating emotionally, by not truly loving him. Im sorry its harsh but its the truth, and it seems the other guys just toying with you, he likes the attention when it suits him, you are just using your current bf for security and in a weird sense, back up. 1
amaysngrace Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 You probably shouldn't be in a relationship until you can learn how to respect the person you're in a relationship with. Which you clearly don't. Which only makes me think that you have little self-respect as well since the two usually go together. 2
Aint_Easy Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 You probably shouldn't be in a relationship until you can learn how to respect the person you're in a relationship with. Which you clearly don't. Which only makes me think that you have little self-respect as well since the two usually go together. Bingo. The fact that you have been doing this for a year is sad. The guy loves you, you fell head over heels for him once, and then you decide someone else is better? Dammit people COMMITMENT. Just cut your ties, you've done enough damage. 4
Ieris Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 First thing you need to do is sit down and have a talk to your current boyfriend. He deserves to know the truth. If you want to pursue the other guy then do it in your own time, not while your stringing your current boyfriend along. That is so unfair on him. If you don't want to be with him then let him go, don't waste his time. Who knows how it will work out with the new guy but you can't fully be with the him until you let go of your current one... 2
sober and dry Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) Sorry but I can't see any possible healthy relationship with any of the guys, maybe it never was. So please leave this 2 guys alone and look at yourself quite a bit. I don't think what you have with the new guy can become a good thing in you life, sorry. Try to see were did you went wrong and work on yourself before you even try to have any kind of relationship. I'm going to be harsh and I'm sorry for it, but girls that do thinks like you did just make decent guys turn 180 and start to be *******s or simply avoid any kind of serious romantic relationship. Edited January 14, 2015 by sober and dry 2
Author Whatislife Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Thank you to each one of you for replying! It means a lot. And you are right, i do not understand myself at times. Maybe i turned like this because it happened to me. God knows.
Satu Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) You shouldn't be with either of them. Go and get some counselling, to get your head straight, and learn from your mistakes. If you do that, you'll have much more chance of eventually having a relationship that works and makes both parties happy. Your current relationship is an exercise in dishonesty. Edited January 14, 2015 by Satu 2
Light Breeze Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Thank you to each one of you for replying! It means a lot. And you are right, i do not understand myself at times. Maybe i turned like this because it happened to me. God knows. That's not an excuse you know. I know a lot of people who have been cheated on but would never do the same. Cheating is a choice, it always is. I feel bad for your two BF's, let them both go. Find yourself first, maybe even go to therapy, it might help you. 4
bigtrouble Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 You are not ready, all that confusion and stuff, take a step back, think what you want, feel what you want. Sometimes we feel this exciting attraction for a new person coz our long term relationship gets boring, we get excited of the new things that extra feeling, and that we can fall in love all over again. You need to mature emotionally... 1
GoBlue Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 The only thing I do know is that you shouldn't accept any proposal from either guy in the state that you are in right now. Love is built on trust and respect and it's impossible to have those when your heart is wandering. Have you gone and spoken with a counselor at all? There are issues here that need to be looked at before you try and enter into a marriage relationship with anyone.
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