995011505 Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 I was drunk for the first time in months on NYE (not an excuse) and i was out with my girlfriends at the club, my boyfriend didnt want to come. At one point, they all went to the bathroom but i stayed on the dance floor. A guy started dancing with me, and it was innocent at first but as the night went on it turned not so innocent. long story short, we made out. I left the club early (around 10 pm) but got the guys number. Since then we have been texting a little bit and added each other on FB. I have developed a small crush on him and noticed we have quite a bit in common. We live in different cities, but we have plans to go for coffee in a month when im back in his city. Now, I've cheated before (just kissing, but not an excuse), im probably always going to be a cheater and i hate myself for doing it everytime. I should not start relationships because guys deserve better than me. But i do it anyways. Last NYE my boyfriend kissed another girl while we were together and he didnt tell me about it for 11 months. it didnt bother me since it was so long ago and i cant do anything to change the past. i also did not do the same thing as revenge or anything like that. water under the bridge. but now ive done a terrible thing...and the worst part, i didnt feel guilty about it until a few days ago. i know i should tell him, and probably break up with because he deserves better than a cheating girl like me. is that the right thing to do? how can i stop being a cheating kind of person? Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 13, 2015 Share Posted January 13, 2015 Stop going to clubs without your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 995011505 Posted January 13, 2015 Author Share Posted January 13, 2015 that was the first time i had been to a club without him Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 That didn't work out too well for you. Why do you need validation from other men? When your in a relationship your supposed to protect the person your in a relationship with if they are not with you, collecting phone numbers and than acting on it is pretty disgusting. You need to be honest, no relationship will work without honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 (edited) I want to be fair to my boyfriend, and would never cheat, obviously. I don't want him to be my back up plan. And only hours ago you posted this in your other thread. You even lie on a forum with people you don't know. Please let your boyfriend go. He doesn't deserve someone like you. Edited January 14, 2015 by Zahara 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 how can i stop being a cheating kind of person? There is not a "kind" of person that is a cheater. It is not in your DNA. It is a choice you make. You can't blame circumstances or your "nature" for your actions. How to stop being a cheater? Stop choosing to cheat. It's that simple. Your responsibility, your choice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 Break up with your BF and stay single/go for FWB relationships/open relationships. You're not relationship material. Oh, and get your self-esteem fixed. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 :rolleyes::rolleyes: how can you not be a cheater? I don't know. how can I not be a bank robber? plz let me know, maybe you can follow that advice. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 I was drunk for the first time in months on NYE (not an excuse) and i was out with my girlfriends at the club, my boyfriend didnt want to come. At one point, they all went to the bathroom but i stayed on the dance floor. A guy started dancing with me, and it was innocent at first but as the night went on it turned not so innocent. long story short, we made out. I left the club early (around 10 pm) but got the guys number. Since then we have been texting a little bit and added each other on FB. I have developed a small crush on him and noticed we have quite a bit in common. We live in different cities, but we have plans to go for coffee in a month when im back in his city. Now, I've cheated before (just kissing, but not an excuse), im probably always going to be a cheater and i hate myself for doing it everytime. I should not start relationships because guys deserve better than me. But i do it anyways. Last NYE my boyfriend kissed another girl while we were together and he didnt tell me about it for 11 months. it didnt bother me since it was so long ago and i cant do anything to change the past. i also did not do the same thing as revenge or anything like that. water under the bridge. but now ive done a terrible thing...and the worst part, i didnt feel guilty about it until a few days ago. i know i should tell him, and probably break up with because he deserves better than a cheating girl like me. is that the right thing to do? how can i stop being a cheating kind of person? You have to want to stop cheating and you clearly do not want to do that. Wanting to do that would be to always, always be honest with yourself, your motives and your intentions when it comes to guys and their feelings. You already know they don't deserve the treatment, yet you continually agree to get into relationships--that needs to stop. It may help for you to see a therapist because your issues may be deeply rooted. You engage in inappropriate behavior, then you indulge self loathing afterwards. It's a pattern, apparently. Your best bet is to not agree to become exclusive until you've been through some intensive therapy for at least 18 months. This isn't something that will correct itself in 6 weeks. In the meantime, yes, you need to just break up with the guy you're with if you can't leave other men alone. Him kissing another girl has nothing to do with this long-term problem you had before getting with him. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 And only hours ago you posted this in your other thread. You even lie on a forum with people you don't know. Please let your boyfriend go. He doesn't deserve someone like you. And while you're seeing the therapist about cheating, you need to work on your lying problem, too. Lying is unnecessary. If you're grown enough to do the deed, then be grown enough to take your butt whippin' for it. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 that was the first time i had been to a club without him[/QUOTE] Who goes out on New Years Eve without their significant other? Why wouldn't you choose to do something with your boyfriend? What are you telling your boyfriend by choosing to go to a meat market with girlfriends rather than choosing to do something together to start the new year? Starting off the new year by cheating on him says it all. Get your priorities strait, tell him the truth, that should be your starting point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2015 Share Posted January 14, 2015 It's a choice & you continue to make the wrong one. In a party atmosphere fueled with alcohol, things happen. Once the 1st kiss happened you need to make a choice to stop the kisses. You chose to continue. Then you chose to give the guy your phone #. Now stone sober, almost 2 weeks later you still text him & have plans to meet for coffee. Do you see all of the deliberate acts in there? Link to post Share on other sites
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