me2me2 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I have been dating a man for 7 months. He's a good man - but he is very controlling. He is financially strong and I ended up almost quitting my job to move in with him. We live 3 hours from each other. I was supposed to have custody of my son - but once my ex found out I wanted to move that far away - he took me to court. But, I had already moved at that point. My boyfriend wants to get engaged, but this requires me to move with him (3 hours from my 9 year old son) and see my son every other weekend... for the foreseeable future. He's also extremely possessive and jealous. I tried testing him this past weekend and went for the day to see my son alone. (My son doesn't like traveling to his house). He was texting me CONSTANTLY and even asking me to facetime as proof that I was really there... Early in our relationship, he broke into my cell phone and found texts from a male friend of mine that were very flirtatious. He freaked out and almost ended the relationship. I didn't say anything bad ..other than "miss talking to you.." "thinking of you..." etc etc. But, the GUY had said something about how he was thinking of me in a nightgown and I did not respond to that. Well THAT has left my BF very insecure...I apologized profusely. And he said that he can get over it. However, he always wants me to have my location tracker on my phone. He calls places I say I've been to see if I'm really there. In fact, the other morning, he accused me of going to meet a guy...at 8 am when I was really going to get hair done. I showed him proof! He apologized...but this is what I get constantly. Well, we broke up yesterday because he couldn't get a hold of me within 10 minutes -- via text. Again, accused me of something awful. I was so angry - I didn't go home. He was texing "I can't believe you've done this to me"...and then he went and sat out in the parking lot of the business I was having a meeting at. Although, he went to the wrong location and then accused me of not being there. When I broke it off over all this...he started crying, begging and then told me that he had "hard core evidence and pictures of me cheating." This was a lie that he eventually apologized for -- and is now begging me to "come home" again. He just bought me a 33k engagement ring and he wants me to quit my 200k a year job and stop going back to my son's hometown for work. He wants me to just "surrender" and realize that I will find work in his town and he will take care of me. I do not know what to do. Am I crazy for considering going back?
CALOVELY Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I have been dating a man for 7 months. He's a good man - but he is very controlling. He is financially strong and I ended up almost quitting my job to move in with him. We live 3 hours from each other. I was supposed to have custody of my son - but once my ex found out I wanted to move that far away - he took me to court. But, I had already moved at that point. My boyfriend wants to get engaged, but this requires me to move with him (3 hours from my 9 year old son) and see my son every other weekend... for the foreseeable future. He's also extremely possessive and jealous. I tried testing him this past weekend and went for the day to see my son alone. (My son doesn't like traveling to his house). He was texting me CONSTANTLY and even asking me to facetime as proof that I was really there... Early in our relationship, he broke into my cell phone and found texts from a male friend of mine that were very flirtatious. He freaked out and almost ended the relationship. I didn't say anything bad ..other than "miss talking to you.." "thinking of you..." etc etc. But, the GUY had said something about how he was thinking of me in a nightgown and I did not respond to that. Well THAT has left my BF very insecure...I apologized profusely. And he said that he can get over it. However, he always wants me to have my location tracker on my phone. He calls places I say I've been to see if I'm really there. In fact, the other morning, he accused me of going to meet a guy...at 8 am when I was really going to get hair done. I showed him proof! He apologized...but this is what I get constantly. Well, we broke up yesterday because he couldn't get a hold of me within 10 minutes -- via text. Again, accused me of something awful. I was so angry - I didn't go home. He was texing "I can't believe you've done this to me"...and then he went and sat out in the parking lot of the business I was having a meeting at. Although, he went to the wrong location and then accused me of not being there. When I broke it off over all this...he started crying, begging and then told me that he had "hard core evidence and pictures of me cheating." This was a lie that he eventually apologized for -- and is now begging me to "come home" again. He just bought me a 33k engagement ring and he wants me to quit my 200k a year job and stop going back to my son's hometown for work. He wants me to just "surrender" and realize that I will find work in his town and he will take care of me. I do not know what to do. Am I crazy for considering going back? Based on your other post of this guy being lecherous with his daughters friends, I would say not only should you forget about getting engaged, you should run as far away from this guy as humanly possible.
Sunfire73 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Eeek, no. Are you desperate? Don't marry this guy. Too many redflags. I find absolutely nothing that would make your life better than your single life now. Think of your son and the situation you're bringing him into.
Author me2me2 Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 The part that really screws with my head -- is the way he behaves when I'm not with him. For example recently, -- he said I did not cling to him like normal ...while sleeping. We are typically inseparable. That I admit. But, I guess I was out cold and in the corner of the bed. He said I was acting very distant. THe next morning, I had a hair appointment at 8am and then a JOB INTERVIEW at 10:00 am. He woke up with his heart racing,scared that I wasn't telling him the truth. He asked me if I was meeting a man instead. I said NO! I got upset and got into the shower. He came in and said I don't believe you are goint to get your hair done at 8am! I had to show him the email confirmation as proof. Then, he was frustrated that I couldn't tell him when I would be free to meet after the interview. I told him I had NO idea - because job interviews are not all alike -- especially in my industry. They may take me to lunch...but I didn't know? He was panicked. He eventually apologized and brought me coffee -- but he was SO uncomfortable and made me feel like a criminal... Is any of that normal? Ever?
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