Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Hi everybody, I know this title makes me look like a jerk because of judging someone off a physical characteristic that is pretty much genetic but idk if I can do this anymore. My girl is honestly the woman every kind of man would want in their life, shes pretty, long luscious light brown curly hair, pretty much a genius and scholar, hilarious, and would drop whatever shes doing to help me but at the same time has a backbone. The only problem is she doesnt have my ideal body type. Being a black guy from the south I love thick corn bread fed women, not too big but just curvy. But my girlfriend is pretty thin standing at 5'3 105 pounds. I met her senior year of high school and we hit it off. I didnt pay too much attention to her body although I knew she wasnt that thick. Now 1 and 1/2 years later we find ourselves both in college and I come into contact with beautiful thick women and it drives me crazy. What makes it worse is that Im pretty handsome so maybe a couple times a week women always introduce themselves to me and they always seem to have amazing butts too. We've talked about our future together and getting married and having kids, even naming our future kids( At this time I was sincere). We both work at the same job now and go to class together. I feel like Im married to her already and we're only 20 years old. Im her first and only bf, shes attached to my hip. The thought of breaking her heart breaks mine so Im stuck. Her whole family loves me and my family loves her. My terrible rotten friends lol tell me to just get with a thick women and get it out my system but I couldnt do that. I feel like I meant the perfect girl but she just has one flaw its hard to get over. I only go "butt crazy" at school. When we make love I dont think about it, I enjoy it. Some say the butt size will is amazing others say it doesnt matter but I need advice....fyi I know Im a piece of crap bf no need to reiterate. If you read all this I truly appreciate you, all advice is help.
evanescentworld Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I truly have no comment. I just don't know what to say to you. You already know you're shallow, judgemental, superficial and that you objectify women and value physique over temperament and character. That much is obvious. My only advice would be to break up with her, and tell her honestly why you can't be with her any more. Not to give your honesty any value, but just to show her what a shallow guy she's losing and how lucky she is to have dodged a bullet. 7
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Youre right dude but I dont think you would really understand unless you've been in my shoes before. But im not proud of myself. Im a good human being but I do have my flaws and being superficial is one. I try to work on it so I can be better for the both of us but I always eventually fail.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 It sounds as though you currently highly value physical attributes over the others, which isn't that unusual for a 20-something guy. You said a lot about your girlfriend's qualities on paper, but not much on how you feel about her. It doesn't sound like you're anywhere near being ready for love and a real commitment, so I think you should let her go and go get the action that you want. If she's as you describe, she won't have any problem finding a man who appreciates her as she is. Many men love thin, petite women. 5
evanescentworld Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I'm extremely glad I'm not in your shoes, and would never be, because I'm not shallow and superficial. Don't try to excuse your behaviour by appearing to admit your flaws. Admitting your flaws does diddly-squat and does you no favours, if you then follow up with "but I always eventually fail". You fail because you actually have no intention of changing. Maybe you can't. If you can't - then set her free. You don't deserve her, and she has done nothing to merit you. One thing's for sure - you find your big-bottomed girl, and you'll see just what you threw away, because whoever you find will not be a patch on your GF. And you will compare, believe me. 1
CALOVELY Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 You cannot help who you are attracted to. It is clear she is not the one for you so end the relationship. It sounds like you want to be single and given your age, this is very understandable. It is unfair to continue a relationship with her when your thoughts are elsewhere. 3
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 You sound like my father ^. So since you seem to be so wise. (Not being sarcastic) How should I go about changing ? I want to change. I know what I have now and dont wanna let it go but temptation calls me. Help me.
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 @CALOVELY You have valid points but I got a strong feeling Id regret letting her go in the long run.
evanescentworld Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 So you don't like her physique, and it's proving to be a stumbling block - but you don't want to let her go....? So what exactly are you asking here, then?
CALOVELY Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 @CALOVELY You have valid points but I got a strong feeling Id regret letting her go in the long run. You may but it is not fair to her in any way if you stay in this relationship while secretly wishing for someone else. If you care at all about this woman, let her go. 20 is young in the grand scheme of things and it is the time for you to date and enjoy life, not "feel married" to someone you wish were different.
evanescentworld Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 You sound like my father ^. So since you seem to be so wise. (Not being sarcastic) How should I go about changing ? I want to change. I know what I have now and dont wanna let it go but temptation calls me. Help me. Have you actually thought that you might talk to her about it? How hung up you are on the physical, and that you know it's a pathetic trait? You know, a problem shared, and all that. at least it would give her transparency to either discuss the situation with you, or evaluate matters form her perspective. You have a problem. it's YOUR problem. But either you learn to live with it, accept it and deal with it - or you get it out in the open, and face it head-on.
LostOnes05 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Bro, my advice is to stay exactly where you are...with her! It sounds to me that this girl has everything going for her except a big butt. Who cares? It means absolutely nothing. I'd much rather have a woman that has my back through thick and thin, is intelligent, kind, and loving than a woman with merely a big butt. Let's say you break up with her and get the big booty girl. This woman has all the physical attributes you desire, but she has a terrible attitude, is disloyal, and essentially leaves you alone when you need her the most. How will you feel knowing that you gave up a great woman and partner for a physical attribute that was out of her control? I'd be perfectly alright with having a woman like that in my life. And I guarantee that if you break up with her and some guy comes along that appreciates her, you will be completely crushed!! Make the smart decision, not a carnal one. 2
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Dude idk , I feel stuck.
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 I feel like im young I should be wild and free and all that but all my friends have lived that life and tell me they want what I have yet they still go from girl to girl so Idk what to make of that
Ruby Slippers Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I want to change. I know what I have now and dont wanna let it go but temptation calls me. Help me. If you really don't want to let her go, you're just going to have to learn to live with temptation. We are all tempted by many different things throughout life. Want to get in shape? Resist those tempting doughnuts for breakfast. Want to accomplish something extraordinary? Resist the temptation to be lazy and slack off. Want a loving relationship with one woman who has your back? Resist the temptation of sexual and romantic involvement with other bodies, faces, souls. 1
evanescentworld Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 They're going from girl to girl - exactly because they're looking for what you have, and haven't found it yet. Either that, or their actions speak louder than words, and they're players and flakes....
LostOnes05 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 What do you feel like you are missing out on besides a big ass and maybe some STDs?? I'm in my 20's as well and I understand the desire to talk to different girls. BUT when you have someone that's going to be down for you no matter what, why ruin that? I'm only a few years older than you and let me tell you, good women are hard to come by. I say if you just have to have a big booty go ahead. You will be momentarily appeased but realize that the physical conquest wears thin at some point. That's when you'll see her walking around campus with the new dude that could care less about her butt, but rather what's on her heart and mind. And she'll be happy...
Sunfire73 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 You are young and not ready for a relationship because you are still thinking of dating around. So let your girlfriend go. 5
elaine567 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 You have to let her go. These "thick corn bread fed women" with big butts will plague you forever, if you don't sort yourself out. You will probably regret this decision both ways, but this way at least you will not hurt your gf deeply by cheating on her, as that is where you are headed here. 2
xxoo Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I vote you'll regret it, but you really need to break up with her and sow your oats. Most people who find a great partner at a young age don't fully appreciate what they have and assume it will be easy to find others just as great. Life teaches otherwise. Or, just read around here for a while and see how good you have it. It may change your perspective. 2
somedude81 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Dude, if you aren't that attracted to her and she no longer does it for you, break up with her. Find a girl you are completely satisfied with.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Or, just read around here for a while and see how good you have it. True, but he didn't even mention his feelings for her, whether he loves her. He's made no suggestion that she really does it for him in that way - just that he is aware she's a good catch on paper, the kind of girl that guys want. 1
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Yea it feels like a double edged sword regardless of my choice. But I do love and care for her. She's my first love and I honestly am attracted but I just think about/see butt too much Hmmmmmmmmmmm
Author Palm Tree Dude Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 That "hmmmm..." Was a typo.
kendahke Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Hi everybody, I know this title makes me look like a jerk because of judging someone off a physical characteristic that is pretty much genetic but idk if I can do this anymore. My girl is honestly the woman every kind of man would want in their life, shes pretty, long luscious light brown curly hair, pretty much a genius and scholar, hilarious, and would drop whatever shes doing to help me but at the same time has a backbone. The only problem is she doesnt have my ideal body type. Being a black guy from the south I love thick corn bread fed women, not too big but just curvy. But my girlfriend is pretty thin standing at 5'3 105 pounds. I met her senior year of high school and we hit it off. I didnt pay too much attention to her body although I knew she wasnt that thick. Now 1 and 1/2 years later we find ourselves both in college and I come into contact with beautiful thick women and it drives me crazy. What makes it worse is that Im pretty handsome so maybe a couple times a week women always introduce themselves to me and they always seem to have amazing butts too. We've talked about our future together and getting married and having kids, even naming our future kids( At this time I was sincere). We both work at the same job now and go to class together. I feel like Im married to her already and we're only 20 years old. Im her first and only bf, shes attached to my hip. The thought of breaking her heart breaks mine so Im stuck. Her whole family loves me and my family loves her. My terrible rotten friends lol tell me to just get with a thick women and get it out my system but I couldnt do that. I feel like I meant the perfect girl but she just has one flaw its hard to get over. I only go "butt crazy" at school. When we make love I dont think about it, I enjoy it. Some say the butt size will is amazing others say it doesnt matter but I need advice....fyi I know Im a piece of crap bf no need to reiterate. If you read all this I truly appreciate you, all advice is help. in 20 years, those butts will be down around their knees. You need to lay off the butt porn videos. Seriously. 1
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