agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I'm new here today and have decided to not contact my ex as I think that's the only way we can move on. However, if he should contact me, wouldn't it be rude to not reply? I'm not sure I fully understand this no contact thing.
bigfred Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I'm new here today and have decided to not contact my ex as I think that's the only way we can move on. However, if he should contact me, wouldn't it be rude to not reply? I'm not sure I fully understand this no contact thing. No contact means no contact, this can go from 3-4 weeks. You need to heal and focus on your new endevor, stick in there, its getter when the days go by. 1
ilovedmike Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I'm new here today and have decided to not contact my ex as I think that's the only way we can move on. However, if he should contact me, wouldn't it be rude to not reply? I'm not sure I fully understand this no contact thing. If he hurt you and broke your heart then "Rude not to reply" doesn't exist. I don't know you or if you subconsciously use this as an excuse to communicate with him but a lot of people do. People tell you to go the NC route for your own good. Having contact doesn't help speed up the process of "moving on," it slows things down and has potential to trap you again.. 1
me85 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Well, if you want to cease all contact with your ex and fully move on then do just that. It seems like you're like me. I always felt rude by not responding to people if they try to get in touch with me. No matter who it is. I mean, I probably wouldn't even be able to refuse the damn devil a response ..."I'm sorry, I can't talk to you, ever, for any reason because you're the devil. You're evil. Ok, take care. Bye bye." lol Seriously! I have such a hard time being rude to people, even mean people! Just do the best you can do and don't make any promises to yourself about anything. Those promises are hard to keep and sometimes impossible to keep after a BU. Good luck! 2
tikay00 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 This is what I did everytime you ensure my ex wouldn't call me within days, and weeks. Just tell them you have to go NC to heal, and move on. Tell them to respect your decision, and not contact you. Obviously, they might still contact you, but it gives you enough time of NC, where you might be able to handle it by that point, or know that you don't want them. 1
RedButton Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I guess it depends on what happened in your breakup to decide how to handle it. Were they horrid towards you and you needed to get out? Ignore their messages entirely. Was it a civilised/mutual breakup, and he's generally a good person but the relationship didn't work? If he contacts you I would say be honest and just respond with "I don't think it's a good idea for us to be in contact right now, we need to have time apart. Please respect this, I won't be responding to further contact so we can both get the time we need" or something to that effect. 1
coolheadal Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 NC = no contact and no communication what so ever! NG = never give in (this is what you want to do if your Ex contact you) NT = never trust them ever again Frankly you broken up for a reason. Why do you want to put yourself though it again. Whatever happen made you breakup in the first place has to be laid to rest. Got to move on. When you said "I HAVE, HAD ENOUGH! or something like that, which usually means the relationship is no more that's when NC kicks in. Heal and move on with your life. You should also BEC = block the ex cell phone number also. So you can live in peace. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 No contact means no contact, this can go from 3-4 weeks. You need to heal and focus on your new endevor, stick in there, its getter when the days go by. The timetable part of No Contact is not correct. There's no time limit on No Contact. You go No Contact at the very least until you are healed and completely indifferent. If you get to that stage, you don't necessarily have to be in No Contact, but you'll likely continue there anyway because there will be absolutely no reason or motivation for you to be in touch with them. But yes, No Contact means No Contact. It's pretty straightforward. 2
Author agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Thanks everyone, I understand now. It was a civilised break up and if he contacts again I will tell him to respect no contact me as per Red Button's message, I need time to heal. xxx 1
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