We're both in love but too shy, BUT WAIT there's more.....

[KheKhoin]

Hi, I m 16 years old and I fell in love with a girl in my class and I was so happy when I found out that she loves me too. I know she watches at me all the time and she blushes when I say something to her. I know she loves me, but I'm too much able to keep my nerves when she's near me and I think she doesn't know I love her....

 

Last couple of years, I was a nobody, a hardcore gamer who didn't think there was much to see out there. But when I met her my whole life changed.. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true! I finally had a goal to live up to! I wanted to be someone for her. I wanted to change, to wear awesome clothes instead of the same baggy jeans and hoodie, to be an interesting person. So I stopped gaming and began to sport, to play the piano more often. I finally had a good bound with my parents again and I even motivated my friends to stop being the outsiders and get to know the world better! I was finally kinda proud of myself. I changed my haircut and now I shower everyday. And all of that because of her.. She saved my life. (cheeeessssyyyy, but true!)

 

I never and will never think of myself that I'm a goodlooking person, but it was such a success that I got a lot of attention from other girls in my school who were according to me in the last couple of years totally out of my league! But actually that didn't do me much cause she is the only one I love.

 

This whole casanova thing is actually a 'contradictio in terminis'. I have a lot of success with all the girls including her but then again not. They look at me all the time, but I'm really too shy cause I'm not used to getting attention. I usually don't want to look at the other girls cause I don't want to hurt them if they like me. But when she looks at me I kinda freeze and don't look her in the eye. (I'm such a coward...) I find it very difficult to go to a girl and talk to her, so most of the girls come to me and ask me something. I don't want to be mean so I always act friendly. But that special girl loves me too and she's too shy and I'll understand cause I'm also too shy, so we don't talk very often. And I certainly don't want to make her jealous by talking to other girls.

 

The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her. I recently realised that if I really don't want to hurt her, I'd have to find a way to getting to know her better and show her I love her with whole my heart.

 

I know it sounds dumb but I don t know what to do, I barely make eye contact, cause it feels so awkward... I know that I can do something about that but we can t make eye contact all the time. So by that I often avoid eye contact. Is it good to make a mediocre amount of eye contact or do I have to always look her in the eyes when she looks at me.

 

I want to talk to her, but I dont know what to talk about and I don t want to sound boring or make her think she s ordinary to me.

 

There s also another boy in my class who loves her too but I m sure she doesn t love him, but she s a sweet girl and she ll never ignore anyone so they re pretty good friends.

 

I also want to talk to her and spend more time with her but I don t know how. Everytime we have a little conversation, she s also shy and doesn t want it to be awkward so it never developes into a real conversation.

 

I had an idea to make a video for Valentine s Day where I play the piano and sing a song for her. But wouldn t that be too much of a shock for her.

 

Every day in school she looks at me a couple of times, but more than half of the times I m too shy to look back, cause I think it s a bit too weird. Sometimes I think I don't deserve her because she's great in so many ways.

 

So anyways, if you have read my description I thank you a lot! But if I want to explain everything I'd have to write days. But can anybody PLEASE give me tips!

Charlie

[d0nnivain]

16 is a touch age Charlie but the good news is you will survive & you will get better at talking to girls.

 

Talk to her about stuff that is going on in school & the world around you. How did your school's team do in the last game? When is the next test? Where does she think she might like to go to college? Is she nervous about taking the PSATs? Has she heard the latest song or seen the latest movie? Ask Qs & be interested in the answers.

 

At some point you are going to have to get up the courage to ask her to do something with you. It can be simple at 1st like studying or meeting up at the next school game. If there is a big dance coming up ask her to go with you.

[regine_phalange]

That's very sweet. And it's very sweet that you are considerate of the feelings of the girls' you don't like that much. Wow. Do keep that because I think this kind of empathy is awesome and rare.

 

So, about the girl you like. Don't get affected by her shyness. If indeed she likes you, she secretly wishes that you'll keep talking to her. I'd say work the courage to ask her out on a date. A friendly "would you like to go out with me this saturday?" will do. Don't overthink it, you know she likes you after all!

 

About the video, I think that maybe you should keep it for later because it's something quite special. You could make one for your one month anniversary to show your feelings.

[Gloria25]

16 is a touch age Charlie but the good news is you will survive & you will get better at talking to girls.

 

Talk to her about stuff that is going on in school & the world around you. How did your school's team do in the last game? When is the next test? Where does she think she might like to go to college? Is she nervous about taking the PSATs? Has she heard the latest song or seen the latest movie? Ask Qs & be interested in the answers.

 

At some point you are going to have to get up the courage to ask her to do something with you. It can be simple at 1st like studying or meeting up at the next school game. If there is a big dance coming up ask her to go with you.

 

RELAX!!!

 

Dude, you're only 16...you have yet to know what actual "love" is for a person that isn't a relative. IMO, love per my fav podcaster is "awe, admiration, and respect". That's a high standard that you just don't ascribe to anyone, overnight. Too many people mistake feelings, hormones, and/or emotions for love.

 

You have pretty much a decade to just relax, enjoy female company, and take this time to figure out what you really want/need in a woman so, when you are ready you can make an informed decision on a partner.

 

Anywho, you are in school with this girl...fortunately school and college is the perfect opportunity to socialize and get to know someone before you ask them out one-on-one...like d0nnivan suggested. Talk to her, hang out, just don't get friendzoned by doing it too long.

 

Relax and good luck!!!

[Kos]

You're living the exact same story I went through a few months ago. I don't want to burst your bubble but you should know your crush well before you develop feelings for her. The awful reality is that you won't know what she really thinks about you until you get to know her. You are so lovestruck by her that in the event she's not interested in you you're going to feel extremely hurt. You don't know she loves you for sure just as you don't know she doesn't love you for sure. Even if a girl likes you that doesn't necessarily mean she'll open up to you. You don't know about her personal life, you are unaware of her boundaries. That is not 'love' as much as it is lust.

 

Lust doesn't become love until a door is opened and often that door only opens by total chance. You have to see the full picture to see if this girl really does live up to your fantasies and if not then perhaps some thoughts can only ever exist as thoughts.

 

You really need to have a humble attitude with these things because respecting someone and their space is the closest you're ever going to get to love. Everyone is a one-dimensional character until we get to know them and then those dimensions are infinite but until then you are indulged in a pure fantasy.

 

Always be optimistic but never hope before hope looks you in the eyes.

[preraph]

You just need to do your "homework" every night before bedtime and think of something to ask her every day, such as "Did you watch (tv show) last night?" She's shy, and you're a bit less shy than her, so it's up to you to ask her questions and draw her out until she becomes comfortable with you. If she says she doesn't watch the show, tell her "Oh, watch it this Saturday and then let me know if you liked it," then after Saturday, ask her how she liked it and see if you can get her to talking a little. Eventually, she may stop being so shy. Seeing you talking to other girls is probably really bothering her, so you do need to start asking her something every single day and maybe walk her to a class so she knows you're interested in her. She may have doubts now because of you being friendly to other girls. Once she knows you want to talk to her, she might venture out a bit more.