cetazo Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 My relationship of 7 years ended 2 months ago with the silent treatment. Sometimes I feel a dark depression BUT then sometimes I look at our pictures or look back at memories and feel... happiness?? I can't tell if this is unhealthy or healthy? Am I in denial that the breakup ever happened? Does this mean sometimes the breakup hasn't "sunken in"? What the hell is going on?
me85 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 It's normal to feel happiness looking back at happy moments with an ex. You're still processing everything. Feeling a sense of happiness remembering happy times doesn't mean your over your ex though. You'll go in and out of all sorts of feelings before you're completely over him. Just allow yourself to feel those feelings as they come. Denial and burying feelings will only cause more damage and prolong the healing process. Hang in there OP!
evanescentworld Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Who dumped who, exactly? OK, I checked. I'd be ecstatic, frankly. Quit wasting time even thinking about this, and move on. Get rid of any reminders, anything that could hold you back, and focus on the future. That way happiness lies....
bigtrouble Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) OK let me state my recent BU 22days ago, I have a pic of my Ex who dumped me. When I look at her pic I am happy, yes but I'm not over her yet. As I still have this want to get her back. Its a false sense of happiness, living in the past memories. If it does reset your healing and affects you in a negative way just put it away or get rid of it, its your choice. If you still hope for reconciliation or of her coming back, you have not properly healed and that happiness may set you back. Last thing you need is missing that sense of false happiness. Old pics are just there to remember them, nothing more. Edited January 13, 2015 by bigtrouble
Author cetazo Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Its a false sense of happiness, living in the past memories. This is what scares me. I think my brain is trying to cope with everything by blunting out the pain. I think I'm subconsciously "forgiving" because sometimes I look back at wrongful things he's done and I become desensitized by downplaying the events. I think I do this because I want to get back together still. This scares me because rationally I KNOW I should not.
bigtrouble Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 This is what scares me. I think my brain is trying to cope with everything by blunting out the pain. I think I'm subconsciously "forgiving" because sometimes I look back at wrongful things he's done and I become desensitized by downplaying the events. I think I do this because I want to get back together still. This scares me because rationally I KNOW I should not. Yes its scary and pathetic I see the picture of my EX and though she cheated on me, I'm not angry, I can't find fault in her like she's perfect and standing on a pedestal, seriously I need to knock her off. Yes, I also have that sense that I want her back and willing to look pass her actions. Its only normal to feel this but we could never dwell in it, I need to numb myself till those Pics hold no meaning.
Ieris Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I went to see my ex for the last time and when I got home i felt so happy. My friend asked me why I sound so happy when I just broke up. I just felt great being able to breathe again after suffocating for so long. I do have fond memories of him though, sometimes it makes me smile... 1
Light Breeze Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I went to see my ex for the last time and when I got home i felt so happy. My friend asked me why I sound so happy when I just broke up. I just felt great being able to breathe again after suffocating for so long. I do have fond memories of him though, sometimes it makes me smile... Wow, I hoped I had that happy feeling. It would make life really really much easier right now. No one I know would believe that I had to go to counseling because of this..
BC1980 Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Grief is a really crazy process, and you feel all kinds of emotions. Regarding happy memories, for me, it was painful and bittersweet. Everyone is different and processes it differently. Just go with what you feel, and don't judge yourself. 1
Ieris Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 Wow, I hoped I had that happy feeling. It would make life really really much easier right now. No one I know would believe that I had to go to counseling because of this.. I don't know what you're going through, I couldn't find your story on LS but I do hope you make a swift recover and come out better and stronger. I know you have your counsellor but feel free to PM me if you wish to x 1
Light Breeze Posted January 16, 2015 Posted January 16, 2015 I don't know what you're going through, I couldn't find your story on LS but I do hope you make a swift recover and come out better and stronger. I know you have your counsellor but feel free to PM me if you wish to x Thanks Ieris for the kind words and the support I appreciate that.
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