agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Hi guys I’ve joined this site in the hope that support on line will help wean me off my guy. It's a strange relationship - fantastic when we’re together (probably only about 5 or 6 hours in total a week due to work and family commitments) but when we’re apart it’s like he’s not interested. I find myself sending emails that go unanswered, I feel like I’m doing all the running. It could be argued that he’s not the kind of guy to send lots of emails etc but in the beginning I could hardly keep up with them all, so much attention, now hardly anything. It’s so frustrating as it could be so good. He’s the perfect gent in all other respects, when we're together he's respectful, thoughtful, affectionate, interested. Am I expecting too much that this is carried on when we're apart? I feel very hurt and let down. We've known each other about five months and I've been single over three years, going on the occasional date but holding off for mr right. I thought he was the one and I fell for him hook line and sinker. The last straw was New Year when I hardly heard from him at all though I was sending my normal cheery daily correspondence. He then emailed to say he was out of the country seeing some friends! I knew nothing of these plans and it was just too much. I told him I couldn't hack it any longer and again heard nothing until I messaged him a few days later. We did meet up and managed to part on good terms but I just feel totally lost now. It seems such a shame when there was so much promise and I'm wondering what I did to blow it. Today has been one of the worst days, I've felt physically sick and so so low, it's hell. i just want him back but don't want to lose my dignity, then I can't help but think that if we got back together it would be more of the same, him being charming when with me and distant when apart. I'm trying to not contact him and will wait to see if he contacts me but it's so hard. Also I'm getting on now and don't want to have to wait another so many years for the next mr right to come along, this is just too much. Help!!!
bigtrouble Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Hold back a bit, just don't pull the trigger yet, Some men when they woo you treats you like princess and when your on the hook they treat you less but its not always true they don't love you, Go LC or NC let him contact you, and lay it on him talk about it, make things work out. Sure happened to me, I got dumped and my Ex left me for somebody who showered her with attention and affection, it destroyed my world, she never knew how much she meant to me, and now here I am on LS looking for courage to move on. 1
Author agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Hold back a bit, just don't pull the trigger yet, Some men when they woo you treats you like princess and when your on the hook they treat you less but its not always true they don't love you, Go LC or NC let him contact you, and lay it on him talk about it, make things work out. Sure happened to me, I got dumped and my Ex left me for somebody who showered her with attention and affection, it destroyed my world, she never knew how much she meant to me, and now here I am on LS looking for courage to move on. Thank you for your response. I'll wait to hear if he contacts me and take it from there. I'm sorry for your loss too. This love game is a minefield isn't it.
Michelle ma Belle Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I'm sorry to hear of your heartache but if it's any consolation, we've all been there at some point in our lives. I agree with the last poster about hanging back. You've been more than available to him and maybe that was the problem (?). Some men (and women) start off liking it but then change their minds and start to pull away. I know it's hard to think it's over and to not make contact therefore you must try to keep yourself busy in the meantime. He knows where to reach you if/when he realizes he had a pretty good thing going with you but was just too stupid to see it. Good luck my friend. 1
Author agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Thank you for your kinds thoughts Michelle, I'm going to hang back, like you say, see if he regrets losing me or not. xxx
Light Breeze Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) Well, my opinion is a bit different from the others, It's harsh, but I think he's not that into you. The biggest indicator I can see aside from the lack of text emails etc is leaving the country during New Year without informing you. That's not an action of a man that is into you. If someone was really invested in a relationship they would make an effort to make it work and not just disappear on someone without prior notice. Now, I say don't play the waiting game and don't "hang back" and see whether he misses you. If you do that you will keep on wondering when he's going to contact you and the result of that is, you, not being able to move forward. You'll be stuck in this waiting game forever if he doesn't contact you and trust me you'll regret being in limbo for so long. Try to make an effort to truly move on, if he doesn't come back then at least you are not stuck in the past and there is a high possibilty that you wouldn't want him anyway if he comes crawling back. You deserve more than this. Stay strong. Edited January 13, 2015 by Light Breeze 2
Author agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Well, my opinion is a bit different from the others, It's harsh, but I think he's not that into you. The biggest indicator I can see aside from the lack of text emails etc is leaving the country during New Year without informing you. That's not an action of a man that is into you. If someone was really invested in a relationship they would make an effort to make it work and not just disappear on someone without prior notice. Now, I say don't play the waiting game and don't "hang back" and see whether he misses you. If you do that you will keep on wondering when he's going to contact you and the result of that is, you, not being able to move forward. You'll be stuck in this waiting game forever if he doesn't contact you and trust me you'll regret being in limbo for so long. Try to make an effort to truly move on, if he doesn't come back then at least you are not stuck in the past and there is a high possibilty that you wouldn't want him anyway if he comes crawling back. You deserve more than this. Stay strong. Deep down I know you're right light breeze. I would never dream of treating someone like that, I think if you love someone you treasure them and include them, you don't do things to upset and hurt them. Thanks for being harsh, it's so good to get another perspective on things. It'll be a struggle for a while I'm sure but I hope to stay strong and meet someone who deserves my love. xx
ilovedmike Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) I feel like he might still have feelings for somebody else because Mike did the exact same thing. Everyday for a week straight, messaging and acted as if he was thirsty but then New Years came and everything slowed down. The reason I associate new years with not being over someone else is because new years might remind them that they aren't with that other person. New Years might create that illusion that they might be able to start new with an ex. I could be wrong but I'd cut him off. It seems like you are giving way more than he is. It's such a heart sinking feeling. Stay strong. You have others who are here to go through it with you. You can cry on my cyber shoulder. Edited January 13, 2015 by ilovedmike 1
Author agnes edwards Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 I feel like he might still have feelings for somebody else because Mike did the exact same thing. Everyday for a week straight, messaging and acted as if he was thirsty but then New Years came and everything slowed down. The reason I associate new years with not being over someone else is because new years might remind them that they aren't with that other person. New Years might create that illusion that they might be able to start new with an ex. I could be wrong but I'd cut him off. It seems like you are giving way more than he is. It's such a heart sinking feeling. Stay strong. You have others who are here to go through it with you. You can cry on my cyber shoulder. Bless you xxx
Recommended Posts