wannyxoxo Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) Hey guys, im new to this, so i'd appreciate it if you could give me advice:) So back in 2012, i met a guy through a dating site. I was 20 years old back then and this guy was a year older than me. He was a very attractive guy and we we both instantly hit it off. We talked over the phone and we shared the same interests and all. We planned to meet up finally after like a month or so? I don't remember clearly, but we did planned to meet up. He was the one who initiated it and was very excited about it. So i agreed. All of a sudden, as the day of our meetup are getting closer, he started being cold and distant. He ignored my texts, he went silent on me. And when i texted him, he gave me one word answers. Which was pretty annoying. One day, i received a text from him. He gave me the, "its not you its me" explanation and he apologized. I didn't reply to his last message. I was upset, yes, but its not to the extent where i cried my hearts out lol, he's just some online guy i've never even met anyway. Then i came across his facebook, and it filled with pictures of him and a girl. I clicked on the comments and some of it wrote, "so glad you guys are back together!" That's when i know the reason of his coldness haha. I dont know how, but after 2 years plus, NOW, we talked again. I have always been on that dating app, im not really an active user, so if i went on that site, its just out of pure boredom. We met again at the same site we met two years back. He was a successful dj in one of the local club which his dad owned. We exchanged numbers, and my intention was to just catch up especially since im not always online on that app. I don't want anything else to do with this guy after the stunt he pulled last two years. We talked on the phone, for 3 hours. He told me stories of those weird girls in club he experienced and all those "what happens in the club stays in the club" kinda stories:cool: Suddenly he asked if i would like to go to dinner with him someday. I agreed. Its just dinner, whats the worse that could happen right? I asked him bluntly, he is overly attractive and he's a dj, im sure girls are throwing themselves at him, so why would he still wanna ask me out and such. He told me that he wants a girl that just doesn't see him as a dj. He chose me cus i knew him way before he was a dj, and i knew a lot about him although we've never met. And he just wants a girl that he can go watch a movie with, shopping, hang out, go to a dinner, things that normal couple do. Indirectly he's giving me hints. We agreed to meet up on Wednesday after work. Do take note that we only started talking on Sunday. And when we talked over the phone, it was the same night, Sunday night. The next morning(Monday), he wishes me good morning and all. We texted each other non stop and we exchanged funny selfies and it actually made my monday blues haha. That night he called and i didn't answer cus i was already asleep. The next morning, he texted me good morning. I was busy and planned to text him later during lunch. It completely slipped my mind lol. At 3pm he send me a random funny vine video, and that's when i realized i completely forgotten about him hahahaha. I was really busy, obviously i cant be on my phone 24/7 right. I replied, and his response was, "hahahah funny right." That's not his usual response. Something just tells me he has started going cold. We both went silent after which. He was silent all the way, until at 8pm, he just texted me, "what are you up to?" What bothers me most is, whats the deal with this guy? He's hot one minute, and cold the next. And our meet up is supposed to be tomorrow, i don't even see him telling me the plans. Like what time are we meeting, where will we go. And I saw him online always. We communicate through whatsapp anyway, in case you're wondering. All he said was after 5 hours of being silent was, "what are you up to?" I just dont get it. For real. He's pulling the same trick again just like last two years. Its hard to figure this kind of guy.. Edited January 13, 2015 by wannyxoxo
Yookie Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Sounds like you already have him figured out but for some reason you're lying to yourself about your interest level in him. He's a good looking DJ juggling multiple women and thus will always be flaky until he decides to settle down. He didn't have the decency to even tell you that he had moved on the last time. Do you think he will suddenly become more considerate this time around? 1
Mrin Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Just taking the last two days into consideration - I think he's probably asking the same thing about you. Let's review the facts shall we? 1. You text all day Monday. Hot 2. He calls you Monday night, you don't asnwer. Cold 3. He sends you a good morning text on Tuesday. You don't answer. Cold 4. He finally has to double text you at 3pm to get a reply. Cold. 5. You do reply. He sends a short reply. You don't do anything else to keep the conversation going. Cold. 6. You let five hours pass and he has to double text you again with a "how you doing?" Text. Cold. Ya. From his perspective, you really are acting Hot & Cold with more Cold than Hot.
Author wannyxoxo Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Yookie : Great advice Now I'm starting to consider a lot of things on this dude cus what you said really did made sense :/ but thanks! Mrin : Hmmm good points you pointed out there. But honestly, I was not by any means being cold to him or whatsoever, I was actually trying to see if he would take the initiative to contact me first or at least keep the conversation going. Cus last two years I've always been the one to start the conversation, never him. So this time, I really don't wanna come off as needy, again :/ lets just say I've learned my lesson haha. I mean, this time round he was the one who was all excited to contact me again, and I was a little reluctant, so I thought why not and give it a shot again to see if he's really serious or the same guy like I knew last two years back. But still, thanks for the advice! Appreciate it
lovexocoach Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Doesn't sound as though he's changed much - if any - in the past two years and the same scenes are repeating themselves. Hot and cold is not a good trait in anyone especially when it comes to relationships. Why not look for a quality guy who you can count on and not have to go through these theatrics all the time?
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