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Ask him out or wait?


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Posted

Really simple question. I've been on 3 dates with a guy. My last dating experience really hurt me, and I didn't realize I was chasing the guy, being needy, etc. I've spent the past year picking myself, learning appropriate behaviors and allowing the guy to pursue.

 

I'm not sure if I like this guy and am not attached to him, but we met at a Christmas work party. Due to the holidays, we've only been on 3 dates, all of which have been great. I've canceled on him twice due to being busy. Our last date was the weekend before last. He called me last week, and said he wanted to see me again but was busy this past weekend (the only day he was available, I was busy) so he said he wanted to see me again this weekend but we didn't plan a specific day. This guy usually plans things later in the week, around Wednesday or Thursday. He checked in on me Sunday to see how my weekend went.

 

Problem is I have another date scheduled next weekend. I also forgot I agreed to see a play with my friend. Next weekend I have a snorkeling trip planned with friends and will be gone the entire weekend. I'd like to see this guy and NOT have 3-4 weeks between a date, but feel very uncomfortable initiating a text asking when he's free this weekend? I know this question might be silly but I have a history of being needy/chasing guys and am really trying to let the guy pursue. Do you think in this instance it would be fine sending him a text saying "Hey did you still want to get together this weekend? I'm pretty booked up this weekend so how about Friday night or Sunday?"

Posted

You're not asking him out. You're making a counter-offer with a day that you're available. There's nothing needy about that.

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Posted

You are just letting him know when you are free , go for it :)

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Posted

Thank you! I know this is a silly question haha but so nervous after what happened with my prior dates. Anyway, I sent him the text, he immediately texted me back and said he'd call me. Then he called me and pretty much said he was free and told me where and when we were meeting this week, so all good. Thanks everyone.!

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Posted

If you put in zero effort he may think that you are not really into him and move on.....

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