Scaatys2014 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I am so confused. So, I let the separated guy go until he has papers in hand. He still contacts me and we are friends but I decided to explore my options. I accepted a date from a guy that has pursued me relentlessly for 2 months. I blew him off and finally said what the heck. we meet and I am blown away by this guy. Stupid me for blowing him off but I totally kept my cool. We talked non stop for a few hours and at the end of our date he grabs the check, I offer to pay my half, he says, you can get the next one! Ok, hint he wants to do this again, so I say, oh, you want to do this again? He says yes, definitely. We walk outside and he kisses me, twice......HUGE kisses too, not pecks. WOW. I get in my car and head home feeling really great about the date. I text him later on to say thank you again, I had a good time. I get an immediate response that he did as well and he is looking forward to the next date! I texted him after a couple of days of hearing nothing just to say hi. Again an immediate response and just basic chit chat. NOW, it has been a few days and nothing. He totally gave me the impression he was interested. what did I do wrong???? I'm so confused. Why pay, then kiss me, then say you want to see me again but really don't? Dating sucks! Lol
Chin Up Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I'd love to hear a guys perspective on this too. All I can come up with is: Thrill of the chase, not the kill. Is seeing someone(s) else.Lost interest for some reason.Is playing it cool and doesn't realize it's gone ice age. C'mon guys, why blow hot then cold on a girl? I'm experiencing something similar and decided to let him drop. If he's really all that interested, he can make the effort.
Heatemyheart89 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Hello , the only thing I can think is that he is just not as interested as he once was . Just wait it out , it has only been one date
Omei Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) So he answers your texts right ? Are you just waiting for him to ask you out again or what? Why cant you ask him? Edited January 13, 2015 by Omei
PegNosePete Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 We are often told, "whoever does the asking out, pays". So if you're paying for the next one - doesn't it stand to reason that you should be the one to do the asking? If he's really all that interested, he can make the effort. Why doesn't that go both ways? If she's really all that interested, she can make the effort. Gender equality and all that. 2
scatterd Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 He probably had something come up or hes waiting to see if you are doing to call.He may be wants to see if your interested. Its not been very long give him a few days.
HVW_Mark Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 No, it's not her job to keep initiating. She did once, he can now. Taking the masculine role and initiating everything is a really bad idea for girls. Dating is about polarities, masculine/feminine, not gender equality. The girl can do the occasional forward movement, but generally speaking, it is more her job to encourage the man to do so by being positive when he does. You'll do much better in this spot with him if you sit and wait (it communicates much higher things) and if he doesn't text there is probably a reason behind it (another girl quite possibly). His loss. 2
kendahke Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I am so confused. So, I let the separated guy go until he has papers in hand. He still contacts me and we are friends but I decided to explore my options. I accepted a date from a guy that has pursued me relentlessly for 2 months. I blew him off and finally said what the heck. we meet and I am blown away by this guy. Stupid me for blowing him off but I totally kept my cool. We talked non stop for a few hours and at the end of our date he grabs the check, I offer to pay my half, he says, you can get the next one! Ok, hint he wants to do this again, so I say, oh, you want to do this again? He says yes, definitely. We walk outside and he kisses me, twice......HUGE kisses too, not pecks. WOW. I get in my car and head home feeling really great about the date. I text him later on to say thank you again, I had a good time. I get an immediate response that he did as well and he is looking forward to the next date! I texted him after a couple of days of hearing nothing just to say hi. Again an immediate response and just basic chit chat. NOW, it has been a few days and nothing. He totally gave me the impression he was interested. what did I do wrong???? I'm so confused. Why pay, then kiss me, then say you want to see me again but really don't? Dating sucks! Lol You did nothing wrong. It's only been one date. He's not your boyfriend yet, so don't expect for him to act like he is. You're both still getting to know one another. From what you've written, he's showing you interest when you've called him. Chances are, he's waiting on you to follow through on making the date, since you alluded to that when you accepted his offer to pay for the next one. Make a date with him and let things develop naturally. Some people aren't phone/text hounds and he may be one of them. He can be interested and cautious about not being overbearing with the calling at this point in the involvement.
Toodaloo Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Make the date and ask him about it. Some people hate texting and prefer to talk in real life.
Author Scaatys2014 Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Ok, thanks all. I'll strike a balance of what everyone has said and maybe wait a few days then text one more time and ask if he's free for something next week? I honestly don't want to come across as the crazy chick and make a fool of myself..... Fingers crossed.......
kendahke Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Ok, thanks all. I'll strike a balance of what everyone has said and maybe wait a few days then text one more time and ask if he's free for something next week? I honestly don't want to come across as the crazy chick and make a fool of myself..... Fingers crossed....... No, call him and make a date. Ask him which day he's free and plan for that day. If you come across wishy-washy, he may not take your interest seriously. You won't come across as a crazy chick nor will you make a fool of yourself if you act with confidence and grace.
Sunfire73 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Nah, the guy should initiate the first couple of dates. He might not be too interested and have other options.
bachdude Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I am so confused. So, I let the separated guy go until he has papers in hand. He still contacts me and we are friends but I decided to explore my options. I accepted a date from a guy that has pursued me relentlessly for 2 months. I blew him off and finally said what the heck. we meet and I am blown away by this guy. Stupid me for blowing him off but I totally kept my cool. We talked non stop for a few hours and at the end of our date he grabs the check, I offer to pay my half, he says, you can get the next one! Ok, hint he wants to do this again, so I say, oh, you want to do this again? He says yes, definitely. We walk outside and he kisses me, twice......HUGE kisses too, not pecks. WOW. I get in my car and head home feeling really great about the date. I text him later on to say thank you again, I had a good time. I get an immediate response that he did as well and he is looking forward to the next date! I texted him after a couple of days of hearing nothing just to say hi. Again an immediate response and just basic chit chat. NOW, it has been a few days and nothing. He totally gave me the impression he was interested. what did I do wrong???? I'm so confused. Why pay, then kiss me, then say you want to see me again but really don't? Dating sucks! Lol I just don't see a problem here. It hasn't been that long. You only had one date, albeit a very good one! I'd give him a chance to ask again. Just relax. Maybe send some quick texts to show you are still interested. I think it is a little strange if he is waiting for you to ask him out on a date, even if you agreed to pay next time. So I'd hold tight a little bit longer and send a few texts to show interest.
J21 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) You blew him off, then was blown away. I don’t know about you and what you are expecting, but dont you think you have some grounds to make up for all those times you blew him off? I mean let's be honest, you had no interest, took a stab in the dark and it worked out in your favor. Edited January 13, 2015 by J21
Author Scaatys2014 Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Squeeeeel......lol. He texted me, great conversation, mutual interest and both on the same page for expectations at this point! Just trying to nail down our schedules to make the next date happen!! Thank you for all of your feedback. "Hopefully" I won't need to vent again... You guys are the best though!! 1
fred123 Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 the joke is why should he initiate? he spent two months initiating so why would he put himself through all that again?! haha 1
lovexocoach Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 It's up to him to initiate the contact with you and ask for another date (even if he said you pay for the next one - which is usually a way of not having to argue who pays what), not the other way around. You did nothing wrong and everything right. And he's done the right thing in contacting you again. Good luck on your next date! 1
Author Scaatys2014 Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Thanks lovecoach, Only thing that weirded me out about our conversation was him initiating "the talk" already. As in what am I looking for etc. I kept it very light-hearted and said I had no intention at this point of introducing him to my family and couldn't we just go with the flow and see what happens??? Seemed to get a laugh and nod of approval but it took me off guard.
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