Lew lew Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I've been with a girl for over four years we split up August 2014 while she was on a 2 month kiddy camp in America .... This sent me into deep depression like I've never seen before . She told me that she weren't happy etc ... After she returned from america she came back to mee started meeting again ... Then she broke it off again .... She then went and slept with two other lads because she thought I did the same ... She then came back to me we met and had sex etc. keeps telling me she loved me Etc ... My head is **** tbh . Over Christmas I seen here a bit ,, bought her a present never got anythink in return . Kinda didn't expect it as we weren't together .. She tells me she loves me but doesn't want a relationship , I belive she feels like this because she wants to return to america this year ... I had to break off ... Being alone over Christmas really hurt tbh. I blocked her and told her she would not hearing from me again on Boxing Day ,,, she keeps stalking me , and texts me saying I'm really struggling to get over you hope your ok ... I can't really deal with this I'm quite depressed haven't been myself since we split . I have not replied to her because I can't deal with her confused head , saying she wants to marry me etc . When were together there's a bond , when we have sex it's so passionate . I just don't understand I'm 22 kinda my first proper love . I love this girl more than anythink crazy I know , but i cNt help that . I have been in no contact since Boxing Day ... I'm hurting its hard to ignore her . When someone says things like she does . What should I do , to be honest I belive the reason she don't want to get back together because she's in control or was . I mean how can you want to commit to a lad who's there for you like a bf . I'm confused I had some of the happiest times of my life With her . I'm no fanitizer but are we ment to be or ?? I mean I did hurt her wen we was together , never cheated but would talk to girls online to help my insecurities but that all stopped years ago . Just lost to be honest . Any ideas of what I should do ?
preraph Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 It could be anything with her. She is definitely wishy-washy. She doesn't seem to know what she wants. She seems to commit to you only when she's already run you off and wants to see if she can get the control back and can get you back if she wants to. Being in two different places is big hurdle to overcome. I know it's hard for you to see this as being young is the only perspective you have, but at 22, it's really hard to find anyone mature enough to really commit and be responsible in a relationship. Our brains aren't fully formed until we're in our mid-twenties, so between that and being new to being on our own and freedom, there seems to be a lot of chaos in the early twenties. And more importantly, during this age because of having new experiences, you change rapidly and that usually means you change away from each other, not toward each other. Obviously, from what you said, neither of you are really ready to stop exploring other people. So I do think no contact is best for you since you are in turmoil. She seems to be content to just know you're on the back burner there if she decides at a later date to keep you. That's not fair. Meanwhile, you need to use this time to go out and meet people and travel and have fun. It's hard when you're hurting, but it's not impossible. If you distract yourself, you can have fun and get back to the hurt later. You don't have to decide to remain miserable 24/7. Please realize neither of you are ready to settle down, maintain no contact so you can focus on something other than her.
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