batt Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Its been almost 30 days of NC. I wake up thinking about her, I go to sleep thinking about her. I miss waking up and having someone to say have a great day beautiful. I miss having someone to say sweet dreams to. I' m about to break!!!. I want to text her telling her I'm dying inside. Is it so hard for her to trust people? I was always good to her up until she broke my heart with no warning!!! God I would love breadcrumbs but the silent treatment is pretty damn harsh....
Satu Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 You have to let yourself fall into your own arms. If you try to fall into hers, she won't catch you. Apply self-discipline. It will get easier if you stick to NC.
Zahara Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 30 days is a drop in the bucket. You've come this far, don't break now. It's normal for you to want to seek comfort from her but she is what causes you pain so what you need from her she cannot give you. You're going to feel a lot more worse after you break it because breaking NC only gives you very temporary relief. Once contact ends, you're left to face what pains you again and this time with the aftermath of another round of rejection. When you feel this way, you have to push through because it will pass. It comes in waves and when it does just hold on and get through it. The one thing you should never do is react. Call a friend. Talk to your mother or someone who is a source of comfort to you. Go for a walk. Get to the gym. Leave your phone at home and go for a long drive. Don't sit there and dwell on that negative feeling because it will most likely drive you to do something you'll regret. 4
Light Breeze Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 You're going to regret it, trust me. She's either going to be happy and chirpy, cold, or just flat out ignore you. If she's happy and chirpy you'll get high and happy but it'll come crashing down when you realize she still doesn't want to be with you. If she's cold, then your back to square one because you'll realize she doesn't give a damn and you'll lose your self respect in the process. If she ignores you, well, that's pretty self explanatory. Brother, these urges will ebb I promise you. Breadcrumbs will trigger your attachment addiction to her so not having those will be for the best. 4
dyna85 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Batt, I am telling you. You WILL regret this if you go forth and contact her. I PROMISE you, you will regret it. Remember what happened last time? She wouldn't even give you five minutes. FIVE minutes! And... she's like 'why are you here? what do you want?' She doesn't care. If she cared she would be taking the first step towards you because she is the one who chose to walk away from you. Let her go. That's what she wants, so let her do her thing. I know it's extremely hard and you're raging inside at the injustice of it all. You cared about her deeply. I get it. It's going to take time though. You need to deal with the unsettling thoughts and feelings and not act on impulse. Not when you've come this far, and you've already been there, done that and it left you feeling more disappointed. Please don't set yourself back. Thirty days is SUCH an accomplishment. Seriously. You have made it through the holidays and you're on your way to a more peaceful future, one where you're not going to have to deal with feeling so torn up inside all the time, which is how this situation is making you feel. NOTHING good will likely come of this contact. It will either just be upsetting again or give you false hope, but nothing good will become of it. You know why?! Because the ball is in her court. It's like negotiating against yourself. You're at 50k and she wants 100k and you keep adding to the figure. Okay, here's 100k. Oh wait, here's 200k. Meanwhile, she's taking the money and running and you're like 'what the hell is happening?!' You're giving your love to someone who doesn't care. Walk away. You're already empowering yourself by doing that right now. Keep moving forward, day by day. Avoid looking at the whole picture. I know it's upsetting to think someone could do this and it hurts so bad, but I swear it will get better in time. If I can do this, so can you. NC is the only way out of this mess. It's up to you to stop the cycle of madness. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You don't have to act upon the impulse. Stomp on that stupid thought that tells you this can't be done. Healing is only days, weeks, months, or years ahead. You never know when you may turn the corner and finally feel relief. One day in the future, you will be so thankful you continued on this path. You deserve someone who wants you and is willing to give you the time of day. 4
Author batt Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks everyone. I still have a lot of questions I want answered that I wasn't able to ask at the time. Now seeing someone else posting about almost the same situation, except she could do it face to face. I don't deserve this treatment, no one does. This is harder than quitting smoking.... 1
Zahara Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks everyone. I still have a lot of questions I want answered that I wasn't able to ask at the time. Now seeing someone else posting about almost the same situation, except she could do it face to face. I don't deserve this treatment, no one does. This is harder than quitting smoking.... There are no answers to your questions. You could sit with her and go through question 1- 50 and it won't mean anything because you'll never really gain truth or closure from it. 1
Kayann Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks everyone. I still have a lot of questions I want answered that I wasn't able to ask at the time. Now seeing someone else posting about almost the same situation, except she could do it face to face. I don't deserve this treatment, no one does. This is harder than quitting smoking.... I'm new to this too and it's as hard as you've described. I know it's the only way because all of his calls and texts leave me in tears and I'm back at square one and it hurts even more every single time. He called yesterday and I didn't answer. Wanted to, but didn't. I remembered the pain. Maybe just remember the pain and know that with each day of no contact, it's getting better and better.
Author batt Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Batt, I am telling you. You WILL regret this if you go forth and contact her. I PROMISE you, you will regret it. Remember what happened last time? She wouldn't even give you five minutes. FIVE minutes! And... she's like 'why are you here? what do you want?' She doesn't care. If she cared she would be taking the first step towards you because she is the one who chose to walk away from you. Let her go. Thanks dyna85! I keep forgetting that I wasn't worth five minutes of her time.
Ieris Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 You know the term pouring money down the drain.. with her you're pouring your love down the drain. I kind of want to put a bucket there so you would stop wasting it on someone unworthy. No you don't want breadcrumbs, you deserve the whole loaf if anything! x
dyna85 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 No problem, Batt. I know it's hard to center yourself in the midst of all the emotions. You're in the early days so it's especially difficult to resist temptation, but it will pay off dividends in the long run if you keep on with it and don't relent. We got your back to help you from veering off course. Stay strong.
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