Dork Vader Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Met a woman on tinder she's 34, I'm 30. She's divorced and has a son. Anyways we made out a bit on the first date. The next night she invites me over and I stay the noght but no sex was involved. The next day she says she does not have her son and incites me over. About 20-30 minutes later she textes and tells me her ex just dropped off her son. Then she calls and she is driving to supposedly Pick her sons clothes which supposedly got left at her ex'es house. When she arrives she says she has to go and that she would text me later. No text messages nothing, yet I log onto tinder and see that she is posting these bedtime selfies with these quotes of goodnight and stuff. Next day she emails me while she is at work saying sorry that she got busy with her kid and his friends. Friday night rolls around and she supposedly can't do anything because she has her son yet goes out to a casino for a girls night out. Normally wouldn't care about this but it's starting to seem odd. Saturday rolls around she textes me we text back and forth a bit. She sort of invites me over then says let me make sure my son isn't coming back home. Never hear from her again.. And again she is posting selfies on tinder. Today I get a hey you. I did not respond. I find it rather rude that she has now twice invited memover then pulled the rug out and never text back. It's casual dating but come on you can't even tell me "son came home sorry" but you have time for tinder?! I want too say Hey I think you're nice and sweet, but I think I'm looking for something more serious then you. I'd like someone who can communicate with me and not forget about me while they are posting selfies too tinder. Good luck! Should I just not even say anything?
PegNosePete Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Send that message if you enjoy drama. I would bet my bottom dollar that if you do, you'll get a stream of vitriol in return and will simply get into a text message fight with someone you have no interest in seeing again. What's the point? The mature thing to do is to simply not respond, or to send a polite "I don't feel we're a good match" message. It's pretty clear the "relationship" is going nowhere. Better to spend your time on someone who treats you with respect. 2
Hopes Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Met a woman on tinder she's 34, I'm 30. She's divorced and has a son. Anyways we made out a bit on the first date. The next night she invites me over and I stay the noght but no sex was involved. The next day she says she does not have her son and incites me over. About 20-30 minutes later she textes and tells me her ex just dropped off her son. Then she calls and she is driving to supposedly Pick her sons clothes which supposedly got left at her ex'es house. When she arrives she says she has to go and that she would text me later. No text messages nothing, yet I log onto tinder and see that she is posting these bedtime selfies with these quotes of goodnight and stuff. Next day she emails me while she is at work saying sorry that she got busy with her kid and his friends. Friday night rolls around and she supposedly can't do anything because she has her son yet goes out to a casino for a girls night out. Normally wouldn't care about this but it's starting to seem odd. Saturday rolls around she textes me we text back and forth a bit. She sort of invites me over then says let me make sure my son isn't coming back home. Never hear from her again.. And again she is posting selfies on tinder. Today I get a hey you. I did not respond. I find it rather rude that she has now twice invited memover then pulled the rug out and never text back. It's casual dating but come on you can't even tell me "son came home sorry" but you have time for tinder?! I want too say Hey I think you're nice and sweet, but I think I'm looking for something more serious then you. I'd like someone who can communicate with me and not forget about me while they are posting selfies too tinder. Good luck! Should I just not even say anything? She's not that into you and sending her a message seems like you are trying to bait her into treating you better. Ignore the **** out of her and move on. She isn't what you want and you probably are wasting your time. or play the game and ignore her a bit, she will message you, respond with "maybe" we can hang out. Then don't text her back. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I would simply send a message saying it's not going to work, and leave it at that. Let her figure it out for herself. She knows what's she's doing; it won't take her long to connect the dots. 1
Gaeta Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I am with the others just tell her you 2 are not a match and good luck. If she asks why then you can tell her. She will probably come up with all kinds of excuses but things won't change. 1
Satu Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Trust you own judgment and gut feelings. They seem to be working well.
Author Dork Vader Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 She emailed me again this morning from work. I ignored it until she got off work and text her this. "Hey sorry I've been busy. I think you're really cute and sweet, but I just don't think things are going too work out. It seems like we are looking for two different things." I get that she has a kid and stuff but it's down right rude to invite me over then tell me she's going to text/call then not. I'm looking for a serious adult relationship with someone who can show me some respect. 1
Jessie1231 Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I can relate to last minute changes with kids as a mom - that part does make sense. But if she has a last minute change of plans because of that but then has the time to post selfies for random guys on Tinder but no time to at least text you, she probably just likes the attention from guy and you're not the only one. You were right by ending things & try not to contact her anymore. She definitely seems more interested in something very casual.
preraph Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 The woman is not lying to you. Her son takes up most of her time and always will until he goes off to college. This is what women are like who have kids. Kids are a 24/7 job. It is very hard for them to find any time -- and mothers are often "running on empty," so just because she has an evening doesn't mean she has any energy left for anything except getting some rest. If you want to date her or any mother, stop analyzing all this and just realize she has very little time for you because she has a kid who will always come first.
Author Dork Vader Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 perap I get that Kids are a 24/7 job. But if she has the time to post selfies and that have quotations of "what should I do tonight" and "good night" but no time to tell me good night.. That's fairly rude. She could have just said I don't think I can hang out tonight good night. But leaving me hanging like that? No way.
preraph Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I don't understand why you think her first priority should be you when she has a moment. Posting on social media is a way for her to acknowledge all her friends without being up all night doing it. And it's probably her way of relaxing.
Author Dork Vader Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 Tinder is not social media. Tinder is a flipping dating ap that is basically used for booty calls and flings. Do you know how it works? It basically takes your pictures from facebook. You then scroll through profiles of the opposite sex which are nothing more then a few words and 6-7 pictures. You hit like or do not like. If you and a stranger mutually like each other you can then chat with them. You can also post "moments" which are essentially selfies. I don't care if I'm not her priority but I do care if she invites me over then says maybe, then never textes me but post selfies too a bunch of men on tinder saying "what should I do tonight" "goodnight" with out even saying a word to me.
preraph Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Well, then she was on that when you found her, right? And she's just still on it. I think since you've only gone out with her a short time, you shouldn't be surprised she's still on dating sites. And Tinder is best known as a hookup site. You're on there too or you wouldn't have seen her. You're not anywhere near committed, and it's too soon to be. I just think you're expecting too much too soon here. She may or may not be truly interested in you. She may be trying to date a few men to see what's out there before spending all her time with one. She may just enjoy getting the attention on there and not even follow through very often. The only way to find out is stop being mad and just make another date and see if she keeps wanting to go out and if you keep wanting to go out with her or not. Good luck.
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