2damnnice Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 i have never asked strangers for help but i don't understand any of this nor can i talk to my ex's family because they tell me more then what i need to know. i need someone input w/ this. I've been in a relationship for 7 years & then he gets a job out of town but we are still ok but when they give him money to relocate then he just ups and says he wants to start a new life without me in it. wtf!! i don't understand.How in the world do i get over sum1 thats been apart of my life this long. Feels like ive been married to him and ive never been married before.
dyna85 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to you 2damnnice. This will surely be an incredibly difficult time ahead of you, but know that you are not alone as there are many other members of this forum who have gone through similar collapses of lengthy relationships. It's not fair. Life is not fair and things can be so unjust. If it's any comfort, as an outsider, I can only say that I truly think whatever happens is meant to happen and if it's against your will and can't be salvaged, then obviously he's not the right guy for you, and God's trying to open you up to the right person. I don't get how this could happen either, how someone after SEVEN years could just up and leave you as a firm and final decision with no room for any change of heart. That's so not right and I wish I could give you a hug. Please look around these boards and you may find comfort in those going through a similar scenario. I am so sorry. Please know that it will be okay. I agree with your headline, WTF is up w/relationships. Sometimes it doesn't make any sense.
Author 2damnnice Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Its been about 4 months and when Christmas time came around he said he wanted to try and work it out because he now lives 3 hours away but he said he loves me etc etc and Christmas eve and day it felt like he really wanted to make it work because all the messages had my love at the end and he acted so sweet but when it came to him leaving back to where is is living at now he pretended like we weren't nothing. seven darn years. i try to stop thinking about him but i need someones advice on how to do this because everything im doing isn't working.
sober and dry Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 OMG, he just leaves you there and go after is dream live without you... I can relate... This can be because of many things, but the truth is, this reasons doesn't matter now. Damn that's just very bad. Sorry you are going trough this... I was in a 8 years RS and know what you mean by "apart of my life this long. Feels like ive been married to him and ive never been married before." But hey, see things this way, he is no longer part of your life and you just have to go on without him. Yes, I know it's very hard, especially now, but it will get easier and at the end of that rood you will live better, trust me, we all will no matter what happens in between You just have to free yourself from him, totally!
Author 2damnnice Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 When we tried to work it out during Christmas after that I asked him would u like me to come up there for new years he said nah I'm gonna do this year with my boss and a Co worker WTF.. so I figured new year I'm gonna start fresh and it's not working because once every week he will txt me something put of the blue like an image of two people kissing or like this weekend I sent an image he misses my smile my laughter wtf I don't understand any of this but the next day he said sorry I wrote a drunk late nite txt it won't happen again and I know him her never gets drunk.. I told me many times u either want me or u don't which is it.. I don't know I don't understand how can I move on when he still txt
almond Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 The wrong people get into the wrong ones. That's what's wrong with relationships. I told me many times u either want me or u don't which is it.. I don't know I don't understand how can I move on when he still txt First step is to stop pretending like you are completely helpless. You're not a victim here...you are an active participant, because you are replying and engaging. You can block his number. You can change your number. Take some control. Go NC and move on - it is clear that you're being strung along. 2
Light Breeze Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 When we tried to work it out during Christmas after that I asked him would u like me to come up there for new years he said nah I'm gonna do this year with my boss and a Co worker WTF.. so I figured new year I'm gonna start fresh and it's not working because once every week he will txt me something put of the blue like an image of two people kissing or like this weekend I sent an image he misses my smile my laughter wtf I don't understand any of this but the next day he said sorry I wrote a drunk late nite txt it won't happen again and I know him her never gets drunk.. I told me many times u either want me or u don't which is it.. I don't know I don't understand how can I move on when he still txt Op, sorry for what you're going through now. It will feel better. I'd like to understand your ex's motivation and mentality so if you don't mind may I ask a few questions? How old are you both? Is your ex's former job a crappy one (as compared to yours)? Is there aspects of his life or your relationship which you think he isn't content with?
ponchsox Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 There must have been warning signs along the way that you were into him more and you weren't on the same page in the relationship. He sounds like a selfish dude.
Author 2damnnice Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 Well I'm @ that point that everytime my ex txt me I'm a totally a$$ but apparently that isn't doing anything. I'm rude I tell him stop txting cuz he is the one that said he didn't want me but yet he still txt. I'm cuss him out I out him down i tell him all the things he did wrong but why is he still txting??
sober and dry Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Well I'm @ that point that everytime my ex txt me I'm a totally a$$ but apparently that isn't doing anything. I'm rude I tell him stop txting cuz he is the one that said he didn't want me but yet he still txt. I'm cuss him out I out him down i tell him all the things he did wrong but why is he still txting?? Think about it this way, if you block him he will not be texting you and you are not behaving like an ass and don't need to keep being rude. Bottom line, all of this is not helping you on your healing, so do you want to continue with that type of thing or keep healing yourself?
bigtrouble Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Its truly sad, things like this happens on a long relationship, just when you think you know the person, wham you get hit with something like this, and it hurts so much when you are emotionally invested in it. He seems to be unsure of himself, for now be strong, if he wants you make him work for it.
Author 2damnnice Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 Seriously am I am idiot thinking that it's ok 2 want a guy that doesn't want me.. Cuz he clearly says to me he doesn't want a serious realtionship he just wants a friend to hang out with every now and then but nothing serious.. How the hell can u say that when u just got out of a 7 freaking years realtionship w/eachother but u say u don't want to be serious.. Wtf y the hell can I not just move on like I did with guys I was with n high school.. OMG really how to u move on damn
Author 2damnnice Posted January 23, 2015 Author Posted January 23, 2015 I kinda wish this was a chat room so I can txt people instead of waiting
KatZee Posted January 23, 2015 Posted January 23, 2015 Echoing above. Stop acting like you're a victim. You're not. You've told him to stop texting you, so that's it. He's had his warning. Now delete his number, call up your cell phone provider and ask how you can block a number. He's 3 hours away. He's gone. Time to worry about yourself and no one else. Go see friends, take yourself to a spa. Get a mani/pedi, new hair color, shopping spree, movies, happy hour, go out to dinner. The world is now your oyster.
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