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How do I break the ice?


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Posted (edited)

There is a girl I see at church every Sunday. I've always seen her around but didn't pay much attention till recently. About a month ago I noticed her eyeballing me, checking me out. Every Sunday since, I have noticed her eyeballing me. Today I tried to make eye contact and acknowledge her when she was checking me out. She quickly looked away. The church has a coffee gathering after mass but I never see her there. If it means anything, she's always there with her mom and grandmother. She seems like the band geek type, but you never really know these days.

 

My only idea is to keep trying to make eye contact and acknowledge her with a smile or something similar.

Any suggestions?

Edited by Mengineer
Posted

You already did - when you briefly made eye contact. Next week, do it again so she doesn't know it's a coincidence. Odds are good that she's too nervous to approach you, or perhaps even talk to you when approached, because of being surrounded by church people and her family.

 

See if she's involved in choir or any other church activity. You could always weasel your way in there.

  • Like 1
Posted

Go to her and make a small talk, start with a simple hi! just try to be friendly but don't expect something more until you get to know her.

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Posted

If you already made eye contact, move in when the mass dismisses to see if you can grab her to at least say hello face to face. If she never goes to the coffee gathering, ask her if she will be staying for it. If not, ask if she would like to get coffee later on at another location.

Posted

I am familiar with the church thing... Mess it up and the stakes are high. I'd see if there is any hope along Rupert711's advice. Then search social media and OLD sites. If she is present, try a "Hey you look familiar." type of message.

 

You might get something started, such as paint a hallway on a Sat, etc. which you organize with the cleric, inviting any to help. As you can imagine it is easy to get a project involving help started at the church. A direct invitation to that day's "charity work," from you to her is quite light at that point, and you'd probably be comfortable approaching, eh? Secondary to this plan, I'd try to get on the podium to announce your effort to "paint a hallway, etc." and ask for volunteers. Confident public speaking, looking at her, is a good start. Don't start sweating, but it shouldn't happen as it's been a cold winter!

 

Ages?

  • Author
Posted
You already did - when you briefly made eye contact. Next week, do it again so she doesn't know it's a coincidence. Odds are good that she's too nervous to approach you, or perhaps even talk to you when approached, because of being surrounded by church people and her family.

 

See if she's involved in choir or any other church activity. You could always weasel your way in there.

 

Good plan, I'm just going to be subtle. It's already been a month, another month couldn't hurt. I'll keep trying to make eye contact and If I get the random opportunity to be closer I'll say hi to her and possibly small talk. I'll probably kinda randomly intercept her after mass or something and ask a silly question.

Posted

theres no real pressure to just say hi how are you....every week make ti a little more when you are comfortable doing so....having a buffer of her mum and grandmother can be a good thing..make sure to include them in a conversation....show interest ...be engaging...an open grin or smile to me is a sign of an open friendly joyful heart........as someone else suggested ask her if she is staying for the coffee thing...smile often......when you catch her looking at you respond with a smile....make yourself approachable too.......deb

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  • Author
Posted
theres no real pressure to just say hi how are you....every week make ti a little more when you are comfortable doing so....having a buffer of her mum and grandmother can be a good thing..make sure to include them in a conversation....show interest ...be engaging...an open grin or smile to me is a sign of an open friendly joyful heart........as someone else suggested ask her if she is staying for the coffee thing...smile often......when you catch her looking at you respond with a smile....make yourself approachable too.......deb

 

Thanks, It will be a gradual thing until I get her comfortable. Not to mention I'm not exactly confident either. However after a month of seeing her glances, I'm pretty sure she's interested.

  • Like 1
Posted
Thanks, It will be a gradual thing until I get her comfortable. Not to mention I'm not exactly confident either. However after a month of seeing her glances, I'm pretty sure she's interested.

 

 

yes it is hard when you aren't that confident or shy.....but if she is that way inclined as you are too....she will understand better than anyone won't she?....and respect the effort you make getting to know her as she gets to know you....i wish you well.....deb

  • Author
Posted
yes it is hard when you aren't that confident or shy.....but if she is that way inclined as you are too....she will understand better than anyone won't she?....and respect the effort you make getting to know her as she gets to know you....i wish you well.....deb

 

Thanks again, It's hard to make eye contact with her. I might catch her looking from my peripheral other times its just when I randomly look at her. But as soon as I look at her she just turns her head down or looks straight ahead before I can smile, or mouth the words, "hi."

 

I might just intercept her next week if I get the chance and ask a goofy question.

Posted
Thanks again, It's hard to make eye contact with her. I might catch her looking from my peripheral other times its just when I randomly look at her. But as soon as I look at her she just turns her head down or looks straight ahead before I can smile, or mouth the words, "hi."

 

I might just intercept her next week if I get the chance and ask a goofy question.

 

 

lol...smilin.......i hope that you do.....and i hope it turns out peachy......please update....:0).....deb

  • Author
Posted
lol...smilin.......i hope that you do.....and i hope it turns out peachy......please update....:0).....deb

 

Thanks me too!

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  • Author
Posted
lol...smilin.......i hope that you do.....and i hope it turns out peachy......please update....:0).....deb

 

Bummer, she wasn't there today. Hopefully next week will do.

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