Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Well, I didn't stay away for too long, but something happened the other day and my mind has been fixated on it since, and since I don't really have anyone to talk about it with, I figured perhaps I might be able to get it out of my head if I write it down here. The other day at work I was walking near a group of coworkers, and one of them glanced at me. Then he said something. I am 99% sure I misheard him, but it sounded like he said "she looks pretty today". And since then my mind has been in overdrive. I probably either misheard him, or he was talking about someone else, but the slight chance that he really was saying I looked pretty, is really getting to me. And I wish I could turn my mind off about it. That same day he posted a status on facebook saying "the sky looks pretty today", and it is most likely that he was saying THAT. Or that he was talking about another girl (there are some VERY pretty girls at work). I just can't wrap my mind around it. He's posted on facebook before about his crippling fear of talking to girls he thinks are pretty, and I've seen photos of girls he thinks are pretty, and I'm nothing like that. Not to mention he has no fears of talking to me. For example, If he doesn't like the food I brought myself for lunch he has no issues being blunt in saying something like "I thought I smelled dog ****..." So really, I doubt he said that about me. But that chance that he did has consumed me. That someone I know thinks I'm pretty, and actually said so out loud to other people!! If it's true it's extremely flattering. And if it's not true, I'm a massive idiot and this is all extremely embarassing. And I feel like an absolute crazy person for even caring. But for whatever reason, it means alot to me, and I need to change that. I need to get my mind off of it and stop wondering and caring and pondering those few words he said. And the last thing I wanna do is analyze every word he says to me for the next few weeks... Because none of it matters!!!
stillafool Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Phoe you are a pretty girl and I'll bet you anything he was talking about you.
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Phoe you are a pretty girl and I'll bet you anything he was talking about you. It's just so unrealistic though. And it's insane that I'm going full idiot mode over it. It would be lovely to just have active control over my brain, and just choose to shut down the silly things it mulls over too often. Perhaps I should try hard at learning to meditate
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Was he talking to the others? Did they say anything?
Gloria25 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Welcome to my hell... I spent and spend time trying to interpret everything a guy I was crushing on does to see if it has any thing to do with me... It's maddening. I don't know if it's all in my head. That's one reason I'm working overtime on ignoring him. The less I see, the less I have to "interpret". It's to the point where I think he's learned things about me and/or is very intuitive (like me) in figuring out things I'm into/like and then he goes into some form of "projection" in doing those things he learns about me At first it upset me cuz I wish he was doing those things with me, instead of other people. But, I was thinking about it recently and he sorta makes me smile cuz he seems to be intuitive and it's nice for a guy to have that trait. But still, I think it's all in my head. I must be Krazy. I mean, recently I went out to do something I like and like he went out on the same day and I'm thinking - this is weird. I'm looking too much into this. God, please help me!!! In your situation, all I can say is relax, breathe, and observe...If you two work together, you'll see more of him and you'll get to see if he's like this all the time and, if he's really into you - it'll be hard for him to conceal it for long. Sometimes when people try hard to hide things, it is more obvious. But, maybe you can give a "pass" on this one. I mean, dating co-workers can get complicated. Not sure if you wanna walk down that road.
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Was he talking to the others? Did they say anything? He was having a conversation with 2 other guys. I didn't hear anything that was said before or after as I was a bit far away and kept walking. Welcome to my hell... I spent and spend time trying to interpret everything a guy I was crushing on does to see if it has any thing to do with me... It's maddening. I don't know if it's all in my head. That's one reason I'm working overtime on ignoring him. The less I see, the less I have to "interpret". It's to the point where I think he's learned things about me and/or is very intuitive (like me) in figuring out things I'm into/like and then he goes into some form of "projection" in doing those things he learns about me At first it upset me cuz I wish he was doing those things with me, instead of other people. But, I was thinking about it recently and he sorta makes me smile cuz he seems to be intuitive and it's nice for a guy to have that trait. But still, I think it's all in my head. I must be Krazy. I mean, recently I went out to do something I like and like he went out on the same day and I'm thinking - this is weird. I'm looking too much into this. God, please help me!!! In your situation, all I can say is relax, breathe, and observe...If you two work together, you'll see more of him and you'll get to see if he's like this all the time and, if he's really into you - it'll be hard for him to conceal it for long. Sometimes when people try hard to hide things, it is more obvious. But, maybe you can give a "pass" on this one. I mean, dating co-workers can get complicated. Not sure if you wanna walk down that road. I don't want to date him. He smokes cigarettes and I am allergic to cigarette smoke, so it could never happen. Plus I doubt if he DID think that I'm pretty, that he'd even be interested in me. Even if I DID hear him right (which I don't think I did) it may have been just a strange "out loud" observation that meant nothing. Like "She looks pretty today. I like dogs. Did I remember my vitamins this morning? I think I'll have beef for dinner" - just totally meaningless and he didn't give a second thought of it. It's just that my mind is blown at even the concept of him thinking I am pretty. I'm 99.9% certain that I have to be mistaken. 1
Gloria25 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 He was having a conversation with 2 other guys. I didn't hear anything that was said before or after as I was a bit far away and kept walking. I don't want to date him. He smokes cigarettes and I am allergic to cigarette smoke, so it could never happen. Plus I doubt if he DID think that I'm pretty, that he'd even be interested in me. Even if I DID hear him right (which I don't think I did) it may have been just a strange "out loud" observation that meant nothing. Like "She looks pretty today. I like dogs. Did I remember my vitamins this morning? I think I'll have beef for dinner" - just totally meaningless and he didn't give a second thought of it. It's just that my mind is blown at even the concept of him thinking I am pretty. I'm 99.9% certain that I have to be mistaken. Lol... Then why does it perplex you if you're not interested in dating him? Are you sure you're not interested in him? You sound like me. With my ex-crush he caught my eye cuz I guess he was just being friendly - which I mistook for interest in me. I mean, it took me the longest to get the nerve to chat him up cuz I was like "Ah, why would he like me?" But you know what, I was right. My summary was that he wasn't interested in me and was just being friendly. Not to shoot you down, but maybe that's the case in your situation? That you're looking more into this than there is?
TigerLilly78 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 It's just so unrealistic though. No its not ive seen your avi pic before he was prob talking about you.. 1
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Lol... Then why does it perplex you if you're not interested in dating him? Are you sure you're not interested in him? You sound like me. With my ex-crush he caught my eye cuz I guess he was just being friendly - which I mistook for interest in me. I mean, it took me the longest to get the nerve to chat him up cuz I was like "Ah, why would he like me?" But you know what, I was right. My summary was that he wasn't interested in me and was just being friendly. Not to shoot you down, but maybe that's the case in your situation? That you're looking more into this than there is? It perplexes me because it seems so odd. It's very out of the ordinary for me. I promise I'm not interested in him. I'm just amazed at the situation, if it's true. I'm just strange, is all. I think about things that most people wouldn't bother with.
CrystalCastles Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I don't want to date him. He smokes cigarettes and I am allergic to cigarette smoke, so it could never happen. just that my mind is blown at even the concept of him thinking I am pretty. I'm 99.9% certain that I have to be mistaken. If you're not interested in him, then why are you obsessing? Are you sure you don't want to date him? Because you seem to be analyzing his words way too much. If you don't want to date him, then maybe you should just take the compliment and not worry about whether he really truly 100% meant what he said, or whether it was a remark in passing. Its a compliment, its nice to hear, enjoy it, and get on with your day! 1
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 If you're not interested in him, then why are you obsessing? Are you sure you don't want to date him? Because you seem to be analyzing his words way too much. If you don't want to date him, then maybe you should just take the compliment and not worry about whether he really truly 100% meant what he said, or whether it was a remark in passing. Its a compliment, its nice to hear, enjoy it, and get on with your day! My previous post addresses the first bit. I'm not interested in him. At all. He smokes cigarettes and even just walking past his car in the parking lot makes me nauseous. I'm just really amazed at the situation because it's so out of the ordinary if he really did say it. If he said it, I'm not analyzing the intent behind it... what I'm analyzing is whether he actually said it or not. I'm convinced I misheard him, but am wondering what else he said instead, or if he did say it, I'm just shocked is all. It wasn't a compliment in the sense that he was saying it TO me.... he was talking to other people, not me. I'm just wondering whether that's what he actually said. If he did, that's really really cool and I'm extremely flattered. If he didn't say that (which I think is more likely) I'm embarassed for even thinking that he might've said it. Because it's silly of me.
CrystalCastles Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 If he said it, I'm not analyzing the intent behind it... what I'm analyzing is whether he actually said it or not. I'm not sure why that matters. It's not very important for the anxiety it's causing you.
thefooloftheyear Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Everyone likes a compliment, but you dont really strike me as the type that needs to be validated by a simple comment made by someone- as it seems here......so I suppose I dont quite understand why you would obsess over it...?? If I am wrong, apologies in advance.. TFY
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 I'm not sure why that matters. It's not very important for the anxiety it's causing you. That's the whole point. I wish it didn't matter. That's why I wrote this post. To try to get all this nonsense out of my head and stop thinking about it.
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Everyone likes a compliment, but you dont really strike me as the type that needs to be validated by a simple comment made by someone- as it seems here......so I suppose I dont quite understand why you would obsess over it...?? If I am wrong, apologies in advance.. TFY I'm not one to need compliments, and am not accustomed to them and do not expect them. The idea that he may of said it is very out of the ordinary for me. I'm not used to things like this, and if he did say that, well, I suppose it means alot to me, and I appreciate the comment. If he did say that, it was very kind. I just don't like feeling as though it's very possible I misheard him and that I'm just a presumptuous idiot for thinking he complimented me.
Anela Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 That's the whole point. I wish it didn't matter. That's why I wrote this post. To try to get all this nonsense out of my head and stop thinking about it. I can understand it, if you aren't used to it. I felt good when I felt that I looked better - I remember feeling more attractive, but I was also happier in general, at the time.
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Had he said it, and I heard it 100% clearly, I would've smiled and thanked him and not mulled it over in my head. I would've just happily gone about my day. The not knowing is what is maddening. It'll forever be a mystery and that bugs me.
Anela Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Had he said it, and I heard it 100% clearly, I would've smiled and thanked him and not mulled it over in my head. I would've just happily gone about my day. The not knowing is what is maddening. It'll forever be a mystery and that bugs me. Then I would just choose to assume one way or the other, and leave it. If he says anything else, then you'll know.
Author Phoe Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Then I would just choose to assume one way or the other, and leave it. If he says anything else, then you'll know. I suppose that's all there is to it, really. At least I got all those thoughts out of my head. I'm sure a week from now it'll be gone from my thoughts.
Light Breeze Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I suppose that's all there is to it, really. At least I got all those thoughts out of my head. I'm sure a week from now it'll be gone from my thoughts. Always assume you're pretty then words like that won't affect you anymore.
amaysngrace Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 That's the whole point. I wish it didn't matter. That's why I wrote this post. To try to get all this nonsense out of my head and stop thinking about it. He says your lunch smells like dog **** as you're eating it? Yea no wonder why a nice compliment from him directed at you would play on your head...it's kinda like Stockholm Syndrome. 2
Anela Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 He says your lunch smells like dog **** as you're eating it? Yea no wonder why a nice compliment from him directed at you would play on your head...it's kinda like Stockholm Syndrome. I somehow missed that bit. I agree with you. 1
CrystalCastles Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 He says your lunch smells like dog **** as you're eating it? Yea no wonder why a nice compliment from him directed at you would play on your head...it's kinda like Stockholm Syndrome. Agreed. I was wondering the same. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 It's just so unrealistic though. And it's insane that I'm going full idiot mode over it. It would be lovely to just have active control over my brain, and just choose to shut down the silly things it mulls over too often. Perhaps I should try hard at learning to meditate He thinks you're pretty. Let yourself believe that regardless if he said it out loud or not! He checked you out, glanced at you so that's a good thing. Oh DO try meditation. Just go on you tube, there are tons of great 10, 20, 30 minute mediation guides to listen to. They work and make your brain feel calm and at a peace.
gaius Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Sometimes when guys are talking to each other they'll make deliberate effort to show how masculine they are, point out women and stuff. Even if they're not all that into her. So that might have had something to do with it. You're giving me vertigo with all these I'm leaving declarations and then new threads a few days later.
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