DenverDude Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 on facebook. it came up on one of our mutual friends facebook feed. she was watching the football game with all of our old friends. i texted one of my friends earlier asking him what he was doing for the game today and he never got back with me.low and behold i saw him in the photo. Feeling pretty low right now. I am just watching the game alone at my place while everyone else is at a football party with her. She looked really good too. I miss her a lot. 1
Author DenverDude Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 I wish I didnt see that photo. It really stirred up a lot of emotions. Anxiety and sadness is rushing through me right now at a rapid rate.
erklat Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I feel for you dude, I still remember the anxiety pangs I had in similar situations. It could be beneficial to turn off facebook at once or to block/unfollow the mutual friend circle. If anyone asks tell them that you are trying to move on. Facebook contributes to social anxiety. 2
Author DenverDude Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks for taking the time to reply back. I think I am going to have to 'unfollow' everyone in our circle for a while. It's been almost 2 and half months since the BU, and I feel like I am back at day one for some reason. It's probably because she looked really happy and seems to have moved on so easily. We dated for 3 years and even lived together. This is not easy for me to accept. When she split with me she told me that she was going to block my number on her phone and also remove me from facebook to help her move on. Yet I still have the strongest urge to send her a message (not even knowing if it would reach her) I am hoping this feeling of sadness I am currently experiencing passes soon. 1
erklat Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Don't slip and you'll be fine. I had anxiety attacks for 11 months but I recovered eventually so will you. 1
Satu Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks for taking the time to reply back. I think I am going to have to 'unfollow' everyone in our circle for a while. It's been almost 2 and half months since the BU, and I feel like I am back at day one for some reason. It's probably because she looked really happy and seems to have moved on so easily. We dated for 3 years and even lived together. This is not easy for me to accept. When she split with me she told me that she was going to block my number on her phone and also remove me from facebook to help her move on. Yet I still have the strongest urge to send her a message (not even knowing if it would reach her) *I am hoping this feeling of sadness I am currently experiencing passes soon. If you strictly apply No Contact you will make progress. Social media is often the part where people slip up. You've learned a lesson, so that's good. Focus on yourself and do all the things that make you feel good about yourself. You'll get through this. 1
Author DenverDude Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 I just found out a close friend lied to me today. We were actually supposed to go to the game today. We had plans all week to tailgate at the game and then look for tickets closer to kick off. I had called him earlier in the morning, and he was still on board. I sent out a few texts to arrange our plans and didnt hear back from him. I sent him one more text closer to game time asking him if he was ok. I sent me a message back saying that he was throwing up and came down with a nasty stomach bug. Guess what guys. One of my best friends just called to tell me that my buddy went to the football party - with my ex. Never have felt this low in my life ever.
TigerLilly78 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I just found out a close friend lied to me today. We were actually supposed to go to the game today. We had plans all week to tailgate at the game and then look for tickets closer to kick off. I had called him earlier in the morning, and he was still on board. I sent out a few texts to arrange our plans and didnt hear back from him. I sent him one more text closer to game time asking him if he was ok. I sent me a message back saying that he was throwing up and came down with a nasty stomach bug. Guess what guys. One of my best friends just called to tell me that my buddy went to the football party - with my ex. Never have felt this low in my life ever. This is why sharing to many mutual friends is never a great idea imo its always important to have your own as well. So do you still have any that you knew before the break up that went overly attached to her as well? if so reconnect with some of them and unless your old mutual ones want to start respecting you a bit better start cutting them out of your life people can only disrespect you if you allow it to happen. If you have to start weeding down your fb asap no need to allow yourself to be unhappy on a daily basis and don't hang onto the past in hopes it will be a back in for you shes living her life time for you to as well you deserve to be happy too op thats only going to start when you start moving on.. 1
tikay00 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I just found out a close friend lied to me today. We were actually supposed to go to the game today. We had plans all week to tailgate at the game and then look for tickets closer to kick off. I had called him earlier in the morning, and he was still on board. I sent out a few texts to arrange our plans and didnt hear back from him. I sent him one more text closer to game time asking him if he was ok. I sent me a message back saying that he was throwing up and came down with a nasty stomach bug. Guess what guys. One of my best friends just called to tell me that my buddy went to the football party - with my ex. Never have felt this low in my life ever. Man,I can feel your pain. Didn't happen personally, but I can FEEL your pain. She's not the one. She's just a girl you met, and got attached to. Unattach, and you'll meet a better one, or one that's more compatible with you. Keep your head up.
dyna85 Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Aww man do we hear you Denver. You gotta go strict no contact. No news of her through people, no fb pics, unless you want to continuously backslide into despair. I've literally learned the hard way, thinking I could deal with checking on photos every now and then. Well after a serious (serious) backslide last night after doing so, I have made a vow to never go there again. It will stall your progress. And the goal is to get better for you. It's gotta be like they don't exist (in any other form than the memories and feelings that naturally will ebb and flow). You can't actively conjure this crap up and your friends should respect your need not to know anything about her. It's natural to feel distressed when seeing her or hearing about her. I always have felt immensely low the day after looking at fb pics too. That is, til the final straw broke last night, that this is really holding me back. You gotta get some new (more respectful buddies) and ditch fb (or at least, be very sure she's nowhere in sight on there, not even a chance - or else, deactivate if that's the only alternative). Good luck.
Author DenverDude Posted January 12, 2015 Author Posted January 12, 2015 Thanks everyone. I had a nice chat with my mom and am feeling a little better. I guess it's a good thing to know that he really isn't my ''bro''.. I am really thankful my buddy called me to let me know he was there. He was shocked to see him there too because earlier in the morning he texted me wishing that he was going to the game with us. I told told him unfortunately my friend was sick and our plans fell through. When he walked in the door, my buddy was dumbfounded that he had the audacity to show up and ditch me. Anyways, he has since tried calling me 2 times. I didn't answer and I honestly dont know what I would say to him. Getting back on track to my initial post, I am also going to vow to eliminate any possible ways pictures of her can show up on my facebook page. Whether that be weeding out mutal friends, or just deactiving it completely I need to do this for myself. Right before I ended the phone call with my mom, she left me with a good quote. I want to share it, in hopes that it sticks with you guys too. "Life is for living, not waiting and hoping" 3
Marco Valerio Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 on facebook. it came up on one of our mutual friends facebook feed. she was watching the football game with all of our old friends. i texted one of my friends earlier asking him what he was doing for the game today and he never got back with me.low and behold i saw him in the photo. Feeling pretty low right now. I am just watching the game alone at my place while everyone else is at a football party with her. She looked really good too. I miss her a lot. That's the reason why I've quit my FB account for a while. You should think about it.
ponchsox Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Who cares? You're not with her anymore. Find a new hotter girl to watch a game with!!
fenderjames Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Hey bro , sorry you are feeling low . Just wanted to tell you that good for you for watching the game on your own ! That may sound weird but being alone is extremely therapeutic ( even if it feels horrible ) . Getting used to being solo can be hard but when time heals you than being alone can be the most enjoyable and satisfying time of your day . So kudos to you and happy new year . Hope 2015 is really good to you . Cheers
NopeNah Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Ouch! I deleted all mutual friends after seeing pics. Horrible game too!
Author DenverDude Posted February 3, 2015 Author Posted February 3, 2015 Hello everyone - I wanted to post an update to this thread. I am happy to say that I have been 100% COMPLETE NC, since I started this thread. I completely eliminated Facebook, and surprisingly I don't even miss it. I am realizing that it is a pretty stupid concept to be honest. With all of that said, I still have major anxiety rushes every now and then. She has also been in my dreams quite frequently. Just last night, I woke up in a cold sweat and almost had a panic attack because I got the thought in my head that I would never see or hear her lovely face/voice anymore. I also want to admit that there have been a few occasions where I almost broke down and sent her a text. I battled through those moments, but at times, it is still really hard. This is going to sound weird, but there are also times where I feel her ghost in my apartment - which she lived in with me. There will be times where I just get flashbacks of her when looking at the most random things in my apartment. (i.e - my bedroom and how the furniture used to be arranged when she lived with me, the family room, kitchen, etc etc).. It's been 3 months now since the breakup. I haven't seen her in almost 2.5 months, and I haven't heard her voice in 2.5 months too. I feel like I am walking in quick sand to be honest. I am not sinking, but at the same time, I am not really gaining progress. It just sucks because for some reason I have a feeling her method of getting over me is talking badly about me to her new group of friends all while I am still crying a few times a week over her. I think she has 100% moved on from me. This is something that I would have never thought would happen 4 months ago. I honestly thought we would be together forever. Although we had our arguments, there was something about her and I that just felt special.. Anyways guys, I just wanted to let you know that I haven't visited FB since this thread. 1
love1336x Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I wish facebook after breaking up with somebody would make you go onto another site, or block that person forever! Facebook can bring so much pain....
Author DenverDude Posted February 3, 2015 Author Posted February 3, 2015 It's the smallest things that bring sooooo much pain to you when you are suffering a heartbreak/breakup. examples: -seeing a picture of them online -just hearing their name when a group of friends is telling a story -hearing a song that reminds you of them. -seeing someone who looks like them -seeing a car pass by and you automatically think 'that was him/her!' -seeing a car parked in the street that resembles their car -visiting a restaurant that you used to frequent together It ain't easy! That is for sure.
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