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Posted

I've been seeing this girl "for about 7 months, only problem is she is 16 and her parents wont let her date me based on age alone. They wont even meet me. I'm not a typical guy at all, I like commitment and want to be with her as long as possible, i'm not in it for sex or anything like that I just love being around her shes the only girl I've ever been with where I can actually say this. I graduated 32nd out of 320 in my class I have a job and go to college where I currently have a 3.65 GPA so it's not like im a loser or anyhting either is there anything I can do or have "jen" do that can sway her parents to at least give me a chance?

Posted

How old are you? Do you guys have that much in common?

  • Author
Posted

im only 19 and they act like its a horrible thing its so frustrating..we have a lot in common and i love her very much.

Posted

Wow, that does seem crazy. Has she talked to them about meeting you? Are they allowing her to actually date you?

Posted

You've been seeing her for 7 months, but not dating.

Her parents won't meet you.

 

There must be more to the story.

 

Call her parents and ask them to sit down and talk with ou about their reasons so that you will understand. If they won't answer the phone, send them a note or email and ask for a little of their time to help you understand why they do not want you to date their daughter.

 

If the love is true, then wait a couple of years and she'll be of age and can date without her parents permission (but beware, this could cause a LOT of problems if you have to sneak around--it's not conducive to a long lasting relationship.

Posted
Originally posted by jmeyerhead

is there anything I can do or have "jen" do that can sway her parents to at least give me a chance?

at this point in time, no.

 

maybe 3 or 4 yrs down the road you could.

  • Author
Posted

her parents dont know we have been seeing each other she just asked if it would be ok and they said no

Posted

Does she still want to see you regardless?

Posted

I think her parents are correct in trying to keep their daughter away from you. She's sixteen and you're nineteen. I don't think that a nineteen year-old has any business being involved with a sixteen year-old; I think it's a bit creepy. This girl is probably still in high school, and you're in college trying to get on with your life.

 

How well you are doing in school, and how well you are holding a job is not going to change her parents' opinion of you. I think it's safer to find women your own age, preferably legal ones that are eighteen or older.

Posted

To hell with her parents. Just keep seeing your girl whether they like it or not!

Posted
Originally posted by krustykat

To hell with her parents. Just keep seeing your girl whether they like it or not!

 

With such an attitude, you would only prove them right, to keep her away from you.

Posted

You might be able to finesse your way through this if you can meet the parents and establish some level of trust. She's probably a junior though? So maybe they'll be more comfortable with it next year.

 

For me, I tend to agree with the parents though. A boy in college can only accelerate the "maturation" process of a 16 year old girl.

Posted

OK! OK! Looks like I should have been a bit more subtle with my arguments...

I just think that some parents are much too controlling of their children. People who are close to adulthood need to be given more space to grow up. With 16-year-olds, the parents should only intervene in the relationship if the other person is significantly older than their child (at least five years older), or is obviously a creep or a drug dealer or something like that. But that is not the case here - the guy in question is obviously a decent guy and he is only a few years older than her.

Yes, I agree he should try to talk to the parents first and try to talk them around. But if the parents of the girl arey trying to control every aspect of her life, they will probably still try to do so after she has turned 18 and even beyond. So, if the two of them are serious about the relationship they should try to keep it going, or if they is really impossible, at least try to stay in contact.

Posted

My first love was also 19 while I was 16. After my parents met him and his parents, they were absolutely fine with it. Maybe you two should do the same and if her parents feel that your parents have similar beliefs and values, it may make it easier for the two of you.

Posted

krusty, for reference, do you have kids?

Posted

you're only nineteen? seems weird, you have only three years difference.. But parents are parents, and they have a right, unfortunately, come in the picture when a child is underage. But, maybe you should still try to talk to her parents? if you cant spend time with her, write to each other, call, send emails. Better than nothing. hope things will work for you.

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