kate123456789 Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Hi, I'm new here and I'd GREATLY appreciate any help anyone can offer. I'm writing out of desperation. I am in a serious relationship for two years with my fiance, but it started on the wrong foot as foolish as he is, for half the first year he was constantly talking about other women and what they did in bed. I never wanted to hear this and in the beginning it was ok, but as the stories grew, so did my jealousy and insecurity and all to the point of madness, so finally asked him if he is out of his mind to do this. To make matters worse he was keeping close relationships with his exes and kept behind my back even when he promised to stop and he was flirting with other women. Yes, he drove me crazy, now he is extremely sorry and trying to make up, but for an year there are problems as I am constantly imagining pictures of how these women which I know and some I don't but know the stories about them and how it all happened, I'm constantly imagining how they are doing it, how they are without clothes and…. you know… Please, help. It is now up to the point where I can't touch him, I can't look at him, it is painful to do so, I can't go to the town from which is one of these girls as I become mad jealous and sad and depressed, I hate the bed I am sleeping in and so on many things I connect with them as for example one of them is a great fan something and whenever I see this thing I connect it with her and what they did! Also as I know some details of things in bed they did, now whenever I see such thing I go crazy jealous and hurt and everything, not to mention that I can't do this anymore with him as even the thought of doing it makes me think of the moment when he was doing it with her. And it wasn't two or three girls the stories were about, but a lot so I have lot's of thoughts. I try to tell to myself it is past, it was before we were together, but this is of no use, as I know the details and stories how they did it and as I know it now for me it is like it happened now and I already went through all the pain of these pictures in the present. I don't know how to stop this…. My ex was cheating on me a lot and it was too painful and broke me and made me very emotional about these things I guess. And now these pictures this one put in my mind made me so jealous I can't overcome it, I don't wanna know anyone ever touched him and he did all these, I can't go on with these thoughts and pictures in my mind, which didn't exist in the beginning and all was great, you know he did something but it was non existent to me, it was his past, until he put me there and now what you know can't be unknown… I can't even think of s*x now as it became something emotionally painful because of these pictures and whatever about it I think a picture how he did it with some of these women pops in my mind and drives me crazy and I hate it now and I used to love it before. Please if anyone can help…. Thank you a lot in advance! P.S. I read around the forum other threads first to see similar problems and then decided to post - it is a great forum I must say!
CarrieT Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Break up with him immediately. You will never get over it and it will eat away at you. The relationship is destroyed and your only hope is finding someone with a similar sexual past as you.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 You have two choices here. End it and find a guy who treats you with love and respect, or go to couples counseling with him and see if this can be fixed between the two of you. DO NOT even think of marrying him until you can fully trust him.
Pinkdisney Posted January 15, 2015 Posted January 15, 2015 Break up with him immediately. You will never get over it and it will eat away at you. The relationship is destroyed and your only hope is finding someone with a similar sexual past as you. +1 Most everyone of a certain age has a past and previous lovers, however his were during your early days together and he seems to like to rub that fact in your face.
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