TrustedthenBusted Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Back on topic ( for me anyway ) I don't think I could handle some lovechild. I am very much against abortion, and I think I would encourage my wife to release the baby 100% to the OM, or if he was not interested, place the baby up for adoption. It simply would not be raised in a loving home in my house. Harsh, misplaced, wrong...probably all three. But I don't care. Not my kid.
LifesontheUp Posted January 14, 2015 Posted January 14, 2015 Cheating was a deal breaker for me. I tried to give it a go, but just really didn't love him anymore and didn't want to get over it with him either. So, for me having a child with OW would mean the same outcome.
Author sandylee1 Posted January 14, 2015 Author Posted January 14, 2015 I would challenge the "most likely" part, as that really is a HUGE additional thing to deal with, that I suspect is too much for most people. But yeah... there are those for whom no situation is so difficult that it overshadows their fear of being alone. The worst scenarios I've seen are the stay-home moms who have no educations, no career skills, no prospects, and are past their prime earning years. If they are afraid to go it alone... I can hardly blame them. Yee that's quite true. A lot of sahms who are unskilled and depend on their H are stuck. I would tell my daughter never to depend on a man financially, so you have your own say. I do know some women personally who have accepted an OC. One woman has accepted two. She is not educated beyond high school and has depended on her H always. She doesn't believe it's the child's fault and I agree with that, but it would definitely mean I bail out. Too much baby mama drama than I can deal with. I'm old fashioned in the sense of husband, wife and kids of the marriage. For me, anything else would be settling.
SolG Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 I remember once many years ago picking my daughter up from a school friend's party. We had not been in the area long, so I wasn't yet really acquainted with the other parents. Anyway, on arrival, the Bday girl proudly introduced me to her half-sister. The two girls were of a height and appeared very close in age. I was a bit perplexed about how this could be so. And it obviously showed, because one of the other mothers soon told me the story when we were alone. Apparently one of the girl's mothers was the BW, the other the OW--don't to this day know which was which--and the WH got them both pregnant around the same time. When it came out, they both dumped him, have been close friends ever since and have cultivated the girls' sibling relationship. So, to your original point the BS in this case obviously couldn't reconcile; although I do not know if that was only because of the child. And I really think that it shows incredible grace on both these women's behalfs t conduct themselves the way they did and to embrace each other's daughters. 2
autumnnight Posted January 17, 2015 Posted January 17, 2015 Yeah, I'd say if you are going to refer to a child as an "it," you probably shouldn't try raising said child. Because no matter how they were conceived, every child DOES deserve love. 1
jnel921 Posted January 18, 2015 Posted January 18, 2015 My H had unprotected sex during his A. The possibility of pregnancy was there. If that would have been the case, yes I would have left. We didn't have any more children as we had to buy a home, cars and the bills were too much to have any. So of course I was not going to accept any child outside of our M. Luckily that didn't happen and I don't have to worry.
Author sandylee1 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 I remember once many years ago picking my daughter up from a school friend's party. We had not been in the area long, so I wasn't yet really acquainted with the other parents. Anyway, on arrival, the Bday girl proudly introduced me to her half-sister. The two girls were of a height and appeared very close in age. I was a bit perplexed about how this could be so. And it obviously showed, because one of the other mothers soon told me the story when we were alone. Apparently one of the girl's mothers was the BW, the other the OW--don't to this day know which was which--and the WH got them both pregnant around the same time. When it came out, they both dumped him, have been close friends ever since and have cultivated the girls' sibling relationship. So, to your original point the BS in this case obviously couldn't reconcile; although I do not know if that was only because of the child. And I really think that it shows incredible grace on both these women's behalfs t conduct themselves the way they did and to embrace each other's daughters. Amazing. I guess if the OW didn't know the guy was married, then she can't be blamed. It does show quite some courage. Glad they could bring the girls together like that. So be probably has to pay child support for both. That'll teach him....or maybe not.
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