trgicbronson Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Hi guys, this issue has been bugging me for a while so i thought i would get some thoughts from some strangers My current gf who i have been seeing for 5 months and whom i love and she loves me has not had a relationship for longer then 6 months. Now she is 27 and i find it a bit weird that she hasnt had any long term relationship. I could understand if she didnt want one but she has desperately tried to have a long term botfriend for the last 5 years! Makes me feel like im the first guy to want to go the distance with her and i cant seem to get out of my head why no guy in the past has wanted to date her for more then a few weeks at a time Also my other issue is the amount of guys she has slept with ( i know right this old chestnut) which normally i wouldnt care for to much and she gets very defensive and angry when i try bring it up and also my worries for her not having any long term kind of makes it worse Any advice will be appreciated. Thank you
Satu Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Don't overthink it. Just be happy with what you have to be happy with. Let the past be the past. 1
preraph Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 You're not secure enough in your own taste to like someone without they have a certificate of authenticity. It's not easy to have long-term relationships that remain one-on-one and at the romantic level. Some people have ones that don't last as long but end up being friends for decades. Everyone is different. The younger a person is, the more likely they are subject to immature and shallow men. I've found that a lot of men don't even get mature enough to make a good bf until they're 30 or so. Young men in their teens and 20s are usually very mercurial. Of course, there are exceptions, but not everyone is suited for the exceptions. You shouldn't start looking for trouble where none exists. You may have just gotten lucky to be the one guy that's good enough for her. 3
Country_Girl Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 You have to pick and choose your battles, this isn't one of them. You are creating an issue out of nothing. Maybe she didn't meet quality men before, maybe they were jerks, maybe they were cheaters...who knows. I really wouldn't read into this. This could also be seen as a strength on her part, shows she knows what she wants and won't settle. Is it possible you are more nervous since you'll be approaching the 6 month milestone soon and are worried about being dropped? Think about it. 2
Author trgicbronson Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 No I'm not worried at that I'll get the drop. But thank you for the reply
Ebelskiver Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Lives are so very individual. So what she hasn't had a long term relationship!? She's actually still fairly young. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. It seems as if you are going to be the man that breaks the mold. Cool! If she were 35, 45....yeah, then I would be a bit worried. As for previous partners....why even ask? Really. Just, why?! It is NONE of your business, just as your previous partners are none of hers. I would never date a man who cared about it, I would view it as a sign of extreme insecurity on his part. I don't want to date someone who has double standards and is so insecure in his own sexual prowess that he views experience as a threat. Grow up! 3
ascendotum Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 (edited) Lives are so very individual. So what she hasn't had a long term relationship!? She's actually still fairly young. Sometimes it just doesn't work out. It seems as if you are going to be the man that breaks the mold. Cool! If she were 35, 45....yeah, then I would be a bit worried. As for previous partners....why even ask? Really. Just, why?! It is NONE of your business, just as your previous partners are none of hers. I would never date a man who cared about it, I would view it as a sign of extreme insecurity on his part. I don't want to date someone who has double standards and is so insecure in his own sexual prowess that he views experience as a threat. Grow up! I agree but when it comes to pretty young women in the prime of their life, and 11 yrs of dating around or no dating and no LTR, it does seem a bit weird to me. I bet a lot of guys in the OP's shoe's would also find it a little bit weird. Why worry if she has been with 15 guys or 305 while being single for so long, because some don't want to come along and settle down with a former promiscuous woman. Simple as that. Some guys wont give a shyte about that if they have the hots for the woman and she meets very much what they want in a gf. Like you say people are individuals in what they want. Likewise quite a few women will consider it a red flag if a guy had not been in a LTR by that age. I don't know what advice the OP hopes to get. Any will tend to be along gender bias. It really comes down to his gut instinct about her nature and his heart and how much of a good thing he thinks she is for him. Edited January 11, 2015 by ascendotum
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