enchanted771 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Or keep you waiting for hours. I'm talking about a guy that your dating exclusively. I don't want to look needy, but it makes me Feel like he doesn't like me much when he does this. And he's telling me the day before how much he misses me and bla bla bla. But if this were true wouldn't he pick up the phone? He Isn't really a phone person and he know that I am. So he just says "he will give me a call in a bit" not specific time when. When 4 hours pass, makes me think a) he got busy with his kids or whatever b) he told me that Just to appease me or c) he doesn't really like me. He will deny c up bad down of Course. Is there a way to nip this in the bud or am I just Going to have to accept that this is just the way he is, and try & compromise? Our phone convos average 25 min, but I'm a bit upset. Perhaps I'm overreacting. Oh and we have not had sex yet & we have been dating almost a month. Edited January 10, 2015 by enchanted771
smackie9 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 You are just dating and this isn't that serious. Guys don't call because they don't want to. So ya he's not that into you or he is dating others, has a GF, is seeing the ex or whatever....bottom line you are not a priority. Don't try to "fix" the situation. Have some self worth and call it quits and move on. 3
TabbyHearts Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 you're right, some people don't like chatting on the phone. However, that is a lot different from someone saying they will call, and never doing it. If his level of communication does not work for you, next time you speak to him on the phone say, I love it when you give me a quick call, it lets me know you're thinking of me! Your relationship is still in the very beginning stages where neither of you have made an exclusive commitment to each other, so expecting so much from someone might be setting you up for heart break. Above all, you want to be with a guy who is true to his word. If he says he will call you, then he does. In my past, a guy who wasn't true to his word was a guy I didn't end up dating for long.
Author enchanted771 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 And I won't be if this becomes a habit. If he doesn't think He will be able to call me then he shouldn't even say it. It's something I will have to discuss with him because it's definitely an issue if this is his norm. I know we Haven't been dating long so it's not a deal breaker as of yet, but if it continues then I won't stick around. Perhaps we can talk about this in person & come to some sort of understanding but otherwise if it continues I won't be sticking around. Just how I am. If someone says they are going to do it, I expect them to do it.
jezzika Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 Sometimes, people just get busy. Guys, especially. I wouldn't rule out other options but I do know that people do just get busy. It's frustrating, I know.
Author enchanted771 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 Sometimes, people just get busy. Guys, especially. I wouldn't rule out other options but I do know that people do just get busy. It's frustrating, I know. Very much so. I understand that. Especially when you have kids. Just one of my pet peeves is when someone says they are going to call you and they never do. I understand people get busy but really a 5 min phone call saying I'm very busy but didn't want you to think I forgot about you. I don't know maybe I'm expecting too much and should just back off for now.
stillafool Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 If you talk to him 25 minutes a day isn't that enough? I wouldn't have anything else to talk to you about if I were him. I don't like to be on the phone long anyway so that was never a problem for men when I was dating.
Author enchanted771 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 It's not everyday. It's maybe every 3-4 days or twice a week.
adiamond Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 I try not to make excuses for a man who hasn't made them himself. In my experience, if a guy isn't the one trying to contact me then he's not that as into me as I want a guy to be. However, he has kids so I'm not sure how that facts in. Usually near the end of the day when things are dying down, I want to talk but I would wait a little and see how it goes. If a guy wants to be with you/talk to you, he will make the time. 1
kendahke Posted January 11, 2015 Posted January 11, 2015 (edited) Or keep you waiting for hours. I'm talking about a guy that your dating exclusively. I don't want to look needy, but it makes me Feel like he doesn't like me much when he does this. And he's telling me the day before how much he misses me and bla bla bla. But if this were true wouldn't he pick up the phone? He Isn't really a phone person and he know that I am. So he just says "he will give me a call in a bit" not specific time when. When 4 hours pass, makes me think a) he got busy with his kids or whatever b) he told me that Just to appease me or c) he doesn't really like me. He will deny c up bad down of Course. Is there a way to nip this in the bud or am I just Going to have to accept that this is just the way he is, and try & compromise? Our phone convos average 25 min, but I'm a bit upset. Perhaps I'm overreacting. Oh and we have not had sex yet & we have been dating almost a month. Almost one month? You need to chill. He's still getting to know you and if you come across as shrill and demanding by calling yourself "nipping this in the bud", then this is going to be a short experience for you. Why aren't you dating other guys, too? Keeping your options open? Yes, children can keep you very busy to the point where you don't have 5 minutes for a 25 minute talk, especially when you already know that they aren't keen on talking on the phone. I think you need to adjust your expectations. He's busy with children who will always come before a new girlfriend, despite how much he may say he misses you... he is prioritizing his children, which he should be doing. At almost a month in and no declaration of exclusivity, he shouldn't be your whole world. Edited January 11, 2015 by kendahke
Author enchanted771 Posted January 11, 2015 Author Posted January 11, 2015 Almost one month? You need to chill. He's still getting to know you and if you come across as shrill and demanding by calling yourself "nipping this in the bud", then this is going to be a short experience for you. Why aren't you dating other guys, too? Keeping your options open? Yes, children can keep you very busy to the point where you don't have 5 minutes for a 25 minute talk, especially when you already know that they aren't keen on talking on the phone. I think you need to adjust your expectations. He's busy with children who will always come before a new girlfriend, despite how much he may say he misses you... he is prioritizing his children, which he should be doing. At almost a month in and no declaration of exclusivity, he shouldn't be your whole world.actially there is exclusivity, as of about a week ago there is.
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