preraph Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I think you're just now getting to know the real him. The one you met who was entertaining for a month was a guy trying to get a girlfriend who probably hadn't had one in awhile. But now the guy who's got little interest other than playing video games is probably the real deal. If you are on this board enough, you see a ton of these video game and recluse guys frustrated because a woman hasn't dropped into their lap without them making any effort. I think yours probably made the effort and now thinks he can go back to what he was doing before and you'll just stick around for it. He feels he put forth effort, won the prize and he's back to who he really is now. This is why you date someone for a while before making any mutual life plans. 2
Els Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Who visits who? Are you going to his place all the time? Anyway, it sounds to me like he put his best foot forward early in the relationship, and now that he 'has' you, he's showing you who he truly is. I don't know if he's necessarily 'using' you, but it's pretty clear that he isn't going to be the kind of boyfriend that you need. If communicating doesn't change anything, I think you should leave.
Author Allfromabove Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 I visit him all the time. He had stayed over at my place twice in the 3-4 months we have been seeing Eachother.
LifeandPerseverance Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 We only see each other once a week due to our schedules and the last 3 visits have been mainly him ignoring me while doing his own thing (we did have a few really nice moments, but 4-5hrs straight of him playing ps4 and ignoring me kind of kills that..). He barely texts me at all anymore. I have to text him if I want to hear from him and than he will ignore me for 2-3hrs (I see him log in to facebook). He used to call me every other day, and hasn't in a week.. For the first month he was 100% invested in me. He would make plans to do romantix things (although we never actually did them) and text me sweet things like he missed me and slowly all of that stopped. He doesn't tell me about his day or life anymore either, if I ask he's vauge. If I ask what he means, he stops texting... I talked to him this morning and told him how I felt and asked if he still wanted this or would rather call it since to me it felt he had lost interest and he laughed and said I was terrible at reading him. Said he is "really in to me" and wouldn't waste my time by being with me if he didn't want too. Well than wtf? He said he's been having a "blah" month, but still.. Really? a friend suggested maybe he is just using me-- but for what? We split all costs when we get food and whatnot. He hasn't been very sexually interested in me either so it's not that... I really can't wrap my mind around wtf is going on with him. I like him a lot.. even love.. But I don't want to be played like a fool.. What would you guys do? Should I give it another week or so to see if things change back to how they were? Or am I being silly? I put in bold a lot of things that say "HE'S JUST NOT INTERESTED". Why are you with this guy? He's not meeting your needs for a partner either emotionally, mentally or sexually. It honestly sounds like he could even be cheating or up to no good, given how ice cold he is when you ask how his day's been. Dump this guy and do not look back. Also, you've only been with him 3 months--takes a heck of a lot longer to "love someone" than that. Just my opinion. But I think you know in your gut what is going on and can do way better.
Els Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I visit him all the time. He had stayed over at my place twice in the 3-4 months we have been seeing Eachother. Well, in the future, if you go to the trouble of going over to someone's place and they spend most of that time on their Playstation, that is a good indicator that there is unequal investment in the relationship and that you should stop allowing that to happen. It's really no wonder he thinks you're okay with it, when you just keep coming back despite him not paying you any attention during your last visit. Leave, and in the future don't let that sort of dynamic carry on for 3-4 months. 1
Satu Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 He sounds like a boyfriend shaped hole in the fabric of reality. 1
Author Allfromabove Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 Well, in the future, if you go to the trouble of going over to someone's place and they spend most of that time on their Playstation, that is a good indicator that there is unequal investment in the relationship and that you should stop allowing that to happen. It's really no wonder he thinks you're okay with it, when you just keep coming back despite him not paying you any attention during your last visit. Leave, and in the future don't let that sort of dynamic carry on for 3-4 months. It didn't get that bad until about 2 weeks ago.. That's why I was asking if I should give it more time. But your right, maybe I'm clinging to something that just isn't there...
Satu Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 It didn't get that bad until about 2 weeks ago.. That's why I was asking if I should give it more time. But your right, maybe I'm clinging to something that just isn't there... You really can do much better.
Author Allfromabove Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 I know there isn't any actual time tables for dating milestones: its all based on how your relationship is going and all that however, When did YOU guys decide to introduce your GF/BF to your parents? We have been dating for 3 months, and both of our parents have mentioned wanting to meet the other however we are both hesitant. On the other hand, I feel like its a bandaid that just needs to be ripped off and get it out of the way. Thoughts?
Els Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I know there isn't any actual time tables for dating milestones: its all based on how your relationship is going and all that however, When did YOU guys decide to introduce your GF/BF to your parents? We have been dating for 3 months, and both of our parents have mentioned wanting to meet the other however we are both hesitant. On the other hand, I feel like its a bandaid that just needs to be ripped off and get it out of the way. Thoughts? I'm confused why you are asking this. Meeting the parents is irrelevant in your relationship, there are much bigger issues here. Have you resolved them, or are you still doing all the traveling to him only to be greeted by him playing his PS4 95% of the time?
Author Allfromabove Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 uhh, idk why my post got moved into an old post.. but to answer your question, yes. I called him, we had a very long discussion, I was totally honest with him and we worked a lot of issues out. He came down a few nights ago and stayed over several days and everything has been 150% better since our talk. He wants me to meet his parents.
irresolute Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 You've only been dating for three months. I wouldn't call him boyfriend yet. If he's not interested in having sex with you and only three months have passed, I can surely tell you he's seriously re thinking being with you or not. I'm sorry, doesn't sound good. Let him alone for a while. Sometimes men just need time to think what they really want.
Els Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 uhh, idk why my post got moved into an old post.. but to answer your question, yes. I called him, we had a very long discussion, I was totally honest with him and we worked a lot of issues out. He came down a few nights ago and stayed over several days and everything has been 150% better since our talk. He wants me to meet his parents. Oh, okay, that's great. In that case sure, why not? 3 months isn't necessarily too early. Personally I prefer to wait longer than that, but an ex of mine did take me to meet his parents at around 2 months and it wasn't too bad. It's flexible, really. But on the other hand if both of you feel you should wait, then wait if you want - your parents should respect that.
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